Changes (ShikaXTemari)

[Vance]

*Take it or leave it. Rated M*





Summary: When the Temari of the Sand is sent to set some exploding tags around an evil Theive Den, she needs someone to help her complete it. Enter: Shikamaru.

Spoiler:

(Starts off with Shikamaru being assigned to watch Temari for the month)


Tsunade, the 5th Hokage of the Leaf, sat in her wooden chair. The room was awfully stuffy today, and since it was hotter than a bowel of ramen outside, it made it even worse.

"What the hell is taking Shikamaru Nara so long?" she complained to Shizune who was standing right next to her.

"Uh.... Uh... I don't know." she hesitated. She hated when Tsunade became impatient, it always ended up with her getting in trouble.

After thrity minutes of waiting, Tsunade slammed on the desk. "God-Dammit Shizune. Get that lazy bastard in her right now!" she ordered her Assistent.

Shikamaru walked into the door the second Tsunade yelled. Tsunade folded some papers. "About time, Nara."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Whatever." he said, non really caring. Shizune gave the Chunin some space.

"What is it that you want me to do exactly, anyway?" he asked. Tsunade smiled a bit.

"Well, we have a very special visitor from the Sand, and she needs someone to guard her while she sets up some exploding tags around outer Konoha. It appears that the Sand has deteced a number of theives hiding outside of Konoha, and only the Sand knows about it." Tsunade explained.

Shikamaru wore a puzzeled look. "Well, who is this "special-visitor"? Kankuro?" he asked, grabbing a ciggerate and lighting it.

Tsunade smirked. "No, Kankuro has some business to attend to. Our special visitor is someone that you know personally."

Tsunade's words were a hint to who it was. "No, anyone. Not... Temari God, not her!" Shikamaru pleaded.

"Thats right, Nara!" a strong female voice yelled. Shikamaru jerked his head to see the pretty blonde kunoichi.

"Temari! Great to see that you arrived so soon. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow!" Tsunade exclaimed, quite pleased.

Temari smiled at Tsunade, but gave Shikamaru a dirty look. "I try to think I do my best." the female Jounin smiled.

Shikamaru sagged in his chair. Great. he thought as he inhaled more smoke.

Temari took a seat next to the lazy shinobi. "Nara," Tsunade said seriously. "I want you to understand that this is a B ranked missions, there is nothing funny here, you must be serious here." the Hokage said.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. How troublesome." the Chunin said, and then, they were off.


"Okay, where are we supposed to go, you know more than me." Shikamaru said.

Temari checked her watch. "Well, it seems to be the 12th of July,
4:30pm. I have to leave here August 12th, 4:30pm." she said smiling.

Shikamaru was in the process of lighting his 3rd ciggerate of the day when he heard the news. It was like a sharp stab to the heart. "You leave when!" he exclaims.

Temari's expression grows mean. "Thats right you weak bum! I have to stay in this shit-hole for one month. Lucky you, you get to escort a beautiful lady like me around for that period of time." she says.

Shikamaru sighed. "I think you mean ugly man." Shikamaru mumbled. Temari heard that. "I mean what?!" she exclaimed as she put a fist in Shikamaru's face.

The Nara had blood gushing from his nose as he fell to the floor. "Idiot, get up and bring me to the best diner here. Your paying." she demanded.

The 16 year old Chunin groaned, rubbing his busted nose. Temari waited for him to walk her to the best food place in Konoha.

Shikamaru figured he couldn't trick this broad, he might as well treat her to some decent food.

"I should slip some poison in her drink." he thought to himself, smiling contently as he imagined the witch choking on her drink, and soon, collapsing.

The diner was beautiful. It had stainless steel railings, and ivory shingles. Shikamaru began to worry when he read the menu.

A waitress in a red dress brought Temari her salad and water. Temari thanked her, and ordered her meal.

"I'll have the seasoned grilled chicken with coleslaw and carrots. The Sand Ninja said, smiling sweetly the entire time. Shikamaru put his menu down. I'll have the steak burger with fries and onion rings, thanks." he said.

The lady took their order, and left. Temari smacked the Nara on the hand. "Do you know how many calories that has? That'll clog your heart and arteries before you turn 18! Dumbass." she scolded him.

Shikamaru thought about this for a second. He decided that he would rather be dead than have to stand another second with this evil devil.

In a few minutes, the food arrived. Shikamaru ate his burger, while Temari cut her Chicken slowly.

"Hmmmm, I think that this chicken was slightly over-grilled. It might lead to fattening!" she informed the Nara.

"For the love of god, eat the food or starve!" the Chunin complained.

"You fool. Fat coming from GRILLED food is worse than fat coming from FRIED food." Temari sighed trying to educate the Nara.

"I never heard of grilled food having any fat." he said. Temari smiled. "You must be stupid then. EVERYONE, even Kankuro, my stupid brother knows."

Shikamaru finished his burger, and wiped his mouth. Already, the Nara was ready to go. Unfortunately, a certain female was just beginning to nibble on her carrots. Not to mention that she hadn't even touched her coleslaw or chicken.

It's going to be a loooooooooooooong month Shikamaru thought.


One and a half hour later, the duo were finished eating. It was beginning to get dark, so Shikamaru decided that it was time to leave.

"Lets see a movie!" Temari protested. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, his nose still hurting from the punch he received from the Sand kunoichi earlier.

The two chose to see a love movie, one that lasted 3 and three fourths of an hour.

One hour into the movie, the Nara had gone to sleep. Temari was just beginning to cry.

"Is... Isn't that the saddest thing you ever saw?" Temari sniffed as she wiped her tears away with a tissue.

"Isn't it?" she asked, crying some more. Silence. "Isn- Nara?" she said aloud.

She saw the Nara in his green vest, sleeping. "Dammit Nara!" she yelled.

"Sshhhh!" a woman from above said to Temari. "To hell with you!" Temari growled.

That woman shut up quickly. Temari slapped the ninja, hard. "Owww!" the Shadow Ninja cried out as he rubbed his face.

"The hell was that?" he groaned. Temari shushed him, and continued watching the movie.

Two hours into the movie, Shikamaru was sleeping again. Temari had used fourteen tissues for wiping the tears from her face so far.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Shikamaru snored. Temari took notice of him sleeping, and slapped him again.

"Owwwww. Shit, the hell?!" he complained. Temari shushed him again, and continued to watching the movie.

Three hours into the movie, Shikamaru was sleeping, yet again. Temari had had enough of this so far.

"Wake up you idiot!" she screamed. Everyone shushed her, and she cursed everyone out.

After a small brawl, the manager asked her to stay outside. She tried to say that Shikamaru was with her, but they just laughed.

"Riiiiiight. That lazy bum wouldn't watch a passion/love movie with a beast like you!" the two guards laughed at the same time.

She growled.

After the next three quarters of an hour, the movie was over, and everyone came out. Everyone excpet Shikamaru.

She looked at her watch. "11:30pm! That damn lazy bastard has been in their for over 2 hours extra."

Finally, after another 30 minutes, at 12, the lazy shinobi came out. "Ahhhhhh. What a nap." he yawned.

Just then, he saw the rencarnation of the devil, standing right in front of him her foot tapping impatiently.

"Oh boy." he said to himself, a little nervous. The Sand Shinobi did NOT look happy.

"Shikamaru." she said through clenched teeth. "Y... Yes?" he asked, beads of thin sweat falling from his hair.

"Shikamaru!!!" she yelled as she chased him with her powerful fan.

"Noo!" he screamed as he ran away. "Troublesome women." he said to himself as he ran to the nearest store.

Temari had to put her fan away to get to the Nara. "Think!" he said to himself. "Gotta find something to make her feel better!"

His eyes scanned all around the newstand. "A card... Yes! A card!" he laughed as he paid $3.00 for a heart covered card.

"Get ready to die!" the evil female Jounin hissed wickedly. "Waaaiit! I have something for you!" he cried as he handed her the card.

Temari stopped her rampage, and snatched the card from him.

She unfolded the piece of fine paper. She read it.


I Wub You.


Temari's face was trembling, Shikamaru thought that she was about to burst out crying from happiness, but in reality, she began crying because of laughter!

"What the hell is this? A pathetic card that you think will make me LOVE you? Get real, kid." she laughed.

Shikamaru exhaled. At least, he thought, she wouldn't kill him. Or at least he hoped she wouldn't kill him. He still had a month to go with this devil. How would he survive?

[Jazz]

Oh...My...God... I need an ambulance, I think my stomach exploded from laughter lol

[Vance]

Laughter because it was bad, or laughter because it was good?

[Jazz]

Because it was good, and the ending.

[Vance]

Thanx man. I am taking votesnow. What should happen next?


Ino sees Shikamaru and Temari together.

Naruto sees and annoys them.

Sasuke confronts them.

Asuma embarrases Shika.

[number47]

damm funny man i think he falls in love whith temari and she tries to kill him

[txsfld]

asuma embarasses them that would be funny

[NejiIsMyLuv]

LMAO!!!This is hilarous! Ino seeing them together would be hilarous!I luv ShikaXTema!Their my fave couple!Keep um coming please!

[InLoveWithShikaMe]

i wubbed it so much!!! i have never seen a shikaxtema fanfic as good as this one!! this is so fricken awesome oh man that was sooo entertaining i loved it.

[Jazz]

Is the next part coming D:

[Vance]

Tomorrow or Saturday. I am thinking on Ino seeing them together in Chapter 3 and Asuma embarrasing Shika in chap 2.

[NejiIsMyLuv]

Waiting for more!Im such a ShikaTema fangirl in the words of my friend Elsa!

[Vance]

*Here is a small update. Wanted to give ya some ShikaTemari.*


Chapter 2.

Spoiler:

*Shika wakes up, Shikamaru is still bruised from the sock to the face.*


The delicate sun seemed to gently stroke the lazy ninjas face as he buried himself deeper into the comfortable covers.

He opens an eye slightly, but decides getting up will be too troublesome.

This is what I call paradise. Shikamaru thought as he rubbed his loose hair on his pillow.

"SHIKAMARU!!!" a loud and agonizing voice screamed as it ripped through his peacefulness.

Shikamaru sprung out of bed. "What the hell!" he yelped as he looked around his messy room.

"SHIKAMARU!!! GET UP!" the voice yelled again. Shikamaru's heart sank, and his face drooped. "Not again." he moaned as he banged his head against his pillow.

"GET UP YOU LAZY BASTARD!" Temari screeched like the evil witch she was.

Shikamaru decided that he could either stay in bed, and probably get beaten up, or meet her downstairs, and get beaten up.

[b]I'll get beat up even more if I stay up here, I'll meet the bitch.[b] He mumbles to himself.

Shikamaru undressed, his nose puffy and hurting. He noticed that a certain part of his body was all sticky.

"What the hell?" he looked down to see that that "certain part" was all covered in dried, sticky liquid.

"Ohhh shit! Not again!" he cried as he remembered the dreamhe had last night.

CUT TO DREAM:


Temari is walking over to him, in panties and bra. She is holding a whip, and sucking a candy.

"Te--- Temari!" the ninja gasps as he sees the beautiful kunoichi, sexier than ever.

She shuses him, and whips him. "OWW! Shit, what the hell was that!" he yells. She smiles. "You know you like that." she laughs as she whips him again.

"Oww! I do like that." he grins. "I know." the blonde Sand Ninja whispers, and she undresses.

"This is too good to be true!" Shikamaru smiles. "It is." Temari smiles."


THE DREAM ENDS.



Shikamaru is in the bathroom. Cleaing up after his little wet dream. "SHIKAMARU! I'M COMING UP THERE, AND I AM GOING TO BEAT YOUR SORRY ASS!" the harsh woman screamed as she banged on his door.

"I'll be there in a minute woman!" Shikamaru yells back, as he dries himself off.

Finally, after a few minutes, he is dressed and ready to go confront his greatest fear: Temari Sabuka.

He opens the door, and feels the hard knuckles of Temari's fist knock his face sideways.

"Idiot! I've been waiting for three hours. THREE FUCKING HOURS!" she yells.

Shikamaru rubs his now bruised face. He sees that the people of Konoha are staring at him.

So troublesome. the Nara thinks to himself. In a flash, the two are finally in the main town.

*I'll update later. This part 1/3 of Chapter 2.

[number47]

ha good one really funny

[Vance]

Thanks. I wanted to create a good Shika Temari. I have been looking my favorite ShikaTem called "8 Days" It is waaaaaaay better than this, so that is why I try to get adjusted to writing that that author.

[number47]

good check out mine it's my first one it's called one hell of a night i'm not done put i got a mini one out

[Vance]

I saw it, (reading it now.)

[NejiIsMyLuv]

Yeah!I love the update!!LOL!

[Capacity]

cant wait to read more of it

[txsfld]

this is so good