Um... my Naru Hina fan fiction

[Brant Kogasu]

Before you say anything, I did/do have an account on ff.net, but I think it is easier to do this on the forums.

well, here's chapter 1:

The rain poured down on Naruto’s head, the icy cold water gave him a headache, but that didn’t matter. He was standing on the top of his apartment, he watched the town of Konoha through the thick blanket of rain. The lights of nightlife seemed blurry, it was probably the downpour, but it felt to Naruto more like the beginning of a dream. He watched until he began to notice his body shivering, then he went back inside.

His room was dark and cold, not as cold as outside, but enough to see his breath in front of his face. But the reason Naruto preferred the storm outside was because out there was the town of Konoha, with people everywhere, but in his room there was only loneliness. He couldn’t count how many times he’d dreamt of a cold, rainy night like this, except in his dreams, Sakura kept him warm. She would be in her sleeping clothes, as would Naruto, and they would huddle together under his blankets whispering in eachother’s ears about how warm it was when they were together.

Naruto smiled at the thought, but the smile soon faded as the reality of his silent room jumped back into his sight. He decided that this loneliness was too much to handle tonight, so he left to see if there was a late night ramen shop somewhere in the blur of lights downtown. He grabbed his bright orange clothes, his forehead protector, and his frog purse and ran from the apartment in a hurry.

As he ran down the street, mud splashed the bottom of his pants, dampening them and numbing the bottoms of his feet. He didn’t have to run, but running made him feel better about the night. Maybe it was the way everything went past him so fast and kept him alert, or maybe it made him feel like what he was doing had purpose and that he was needed, it didn’t matter either way.

He slowed down when he saw some ANBU members jump onto a rooftop nearby, he didn’t want to draw unneeded attention to himself. He was close to the lights now, he was in the bloodline district, at least that was Naruto’s title for the part of town where the clans congregated. They were only there because that was where the mansions were built, Naruto could never imagine the life-styles in the huge houses, he had spent his whole life in a tiny one-room apartment with one window.

Finally he reached the lights, he didn’t see any ramen shops open, the Ichiraku was closed as well, so he just found a spot beneath an awning that was free of rain and closed his eyes. He must have fallen asleep, but not for very long because he awoke to the warm touch of skin on his cheek and the sky was still dark and rainy. Naruto slowly regained his bearings, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawned and stretched before gazing at whoever woke him up. To his great surprise, Hinata sat a few feet from him, her face bright red and her mouth quickly stumbling over the words “I’m sorry” over and over again.


* * *


Hinata was staring out of her window, the rain was pouring, mirroring her mood. She wanted to sneak outside tonight to train in the waterfall. But if she was found drenched from head to toe and sneezing from a cold, her father would probably find out about her nightly wanderings and put an abrupt end to them. She sighed, looked at the muddy street, watched as the raindrops bounced off of the puddles, and rested her head on her hand.

I wonder what Naruto is doing, she thought to herself, she dared not speak her thoughts in fear of awaking a family member. It’s not that she would be in trouble, it was just that she wanted to be comforted in the dark quiet of her room. She must have stayed like that for hours, watching the streets until a blur of orange snapped her back from her trance.

What is Naruto doing up this late? She mused over the idea of him looking for her, that was nothing but a dream though. He was running, I wonder if he’s okay, maybe I should find out. She got up from her bed, silently dressed herself in her coat and pulled up the floorboards to reveal her normal nightly escape route.

She ran after him and watched him look around at the lights, he walked over to his favorite ramen shop, but it was closed, so he just sat next to a building and fell asleep. Hinata hoped her wasn’t getting hypothermia, she waited for a while but he never re-opened his eyes. Fueled by her worry for him, she ran from her hiding place to see if he was alright.

She tried talking to him, but he never woke up, so she finally built up the courage to touch him. She reached her hand out, she was going to grab his jacket but her heart was pounding at the sight of his cute rosy red cheeks with the whisker scars and she accidentally touched his cheek. Her heart was pounding in her ears as her hand remained on his cheek, he didn’t wake up. She was frozen, she was probably bright red with embarrassment, but it felt so good to feel Naruto’s skin on her fingertips.

Time slowed down and the rain disappeared from her mind, the world was filled with only her and her blonde-haired, blue eyed icon. She was so enveloped in the moment that she barely noticed the nudge on her back that moved her face nearer to Naruto’s. Before she noticed, her lips were touching where her hand was just a moment before.

Sitting up quickly and closing her eyes, she began repeating sorry over and over. “Sorry about what Hinata.” Naruto’s blue eyes stared at her half-open, he was blinking slowly, the last remnants of sleep’s soothing song disappearing to make way for the hush of the rain. “What are you doing here, it’s late.”

She blushed again, kissing you in your sleep, but she couldn’t tell naruto the truth. “Um…I…I was getting some…milk.” It was a terrible lie and she knew it, but somehow, he fell for it.

“That’s cool, I was going to get some ramen but everything’s closed,” He closed his eyes in a moment of thought, he smiled “Hey, you live around here right, do you know anywhere I could get ramen this late at night.” She nodded, she really did know a place but she wasn’t really replying to his question, she was brought back into a trance from the thought of her lips on his cheek.

“Alright let’s go!” He grabbed her hand to help her up and Hinata began to faint, he’s holding my hand, he’s holding my hand, he’s holding my hand!!!! And with that, she fell to the ground unconscious.

by the way, I have two more chapters written, I just want to wait on some feed back before I post the next part.

[Vegeta]

Nah, I'd rather make comment after you post more of it. Okay so far though.

[Brant Kogasu]

sorry, I just like feedback. I just like to know if I need to change something that sounds stupid or might be going in a bad direction from people who know best, the readers. I write this for every fan fiction fanboy/girl out there so I want to write something you'll all enjoy. I still want some more feedback though. (P.S. this is just a background and filler chapter, maybe the 2nd is a little bit too. I hope to really get into the story and not make it all meaningless fluff.)

[Vegeta]

I'm usually the only one who gives big, long winded critiques about peoples fics, but I usually refrain from doing that until I have read quite a bit of the story, to get how the writer is writing and how the story is developing.

[Brant Kogasu]

ok, is this a pretty unpopular part of the site? I'll post the rest but I really want more reviews.

The night was perfect, even though Hinata fainted in front of Naruto. She was embarrassed about passing out at first but Naruto didn’t even give it any further mention. After he woke her up, Hinata tried to quickly divert his attention by returning to the topic of discussion before he grabbed her hand, ramen. Naruto immediately forgot everything as she walked him down the street to a night time ramen shop on the other end of town.

Naruto was so distracted by the discovery of a new ramen shop that he didn’t even notice the constant shade of red that graced Hinata’s cheeks all night long. As they ate, Naruto mentioned a perverted teacher of his, and how he was going to become the next Hokage, but Hinata kept finding herself drifting off and staring into space. She stared at his cheek, where earlier tonight her lips had been, and she silently sighed in longing to kiss him again.

She was disappointed when the sun came up and she had to go home and sneak in before her father awoke wondering where she was, she wanted the night to last forever. So she stuttered a quick goodbye and ran off towards her home.

The entire remainder of the day was nothing special, just training with Kiba and Shino-kun until lunch, then her personal training with Kurenai sensei in the afternoon. Hinata could have sworn she saw some strange glances from her teacher, and maybe even a soft giggle, but other than that it was a very normal day. She went home, got as much sleep as she could after dinner, then got up silently to do her midnight training.

She went to a waterfall on the outskirts of town where she wouldn’t be bothered and stepped onto the water. She began moving with the flow of the water, letting her soul and her body connect into one being. She created stances, attacks, and blocks that flowed with the water, she spun when it spun, attacked when it splashed. With the help of the water, she had created a style that fit well with her body type, her families famed gentle fist style seemed to foreign to her body and this felt so…right.

But her training was cut short by a dull thud on the back of her neck, the last thing she saw before drifting into unconciousness were two fiery orange and red eyes on a face almost completely covered in black.

* * *


Naruto was able to sleep well that night, he had dreams of the night time ramen shop. It was weird though, because in his dream he left the ramen shop accompanied by a fire bird. And after he paid his bill, he and the bird flew into the night. They were looking for something, but he didn’t know what it was. But the bird kept flying so all Naruto could do was fly and search right alongside him.

They stopped in a forest but when Naruto landed on the ground, the bird was no
where to be seen. It seemed like he stayed there forever, stuck in the forest;, until finally a girls voice called through the trees. “Naruto-kun!” He recognized the voice, was it Sakura-san…no…it was much softer.

At that moment, Naruto snapped himself awake. His heart was pounding as hard as when he fought Sasuke, but why. He looked around his room, there was a man standing in the shadows in the corner of his room. It was so dark that the man looked like a shadow too, except for his burning red and orange eyes. Naruto tried to move but he couldn’t, then he tried to yell for help but his voice wouldn’t make a noise. Those eyes were so frightening that Naruto’s entire body was petrified.

It was the first time in his life that Naruto had felt this much fear, those demon eyes were moving, glowing like fire itself. The eyes glared angrily and the stare bore into his soul, Naruto wanted to scream, but he couldn’t move. He felt so helpless. Then the man began to move slowly closer and closer. By the time he reached naruto, white teath in the shape of an evil grin appeared from the shadow’s face.

Naruto then passed out, it might have been fear, it might have been a strike from the shadow that was faster than Naruto’s eyes could follow, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t dream this time, it was just darkness, fear and darkness. He awoke in a forest, the same forest where the girl had called out to him.

No one was there, Naruto could move again but very clumsily. He stumbled to his feet, then fell over from a lightheaded rush. He felt like he had been drugged, his entire body moved in slow motion and his mind seemed to be in a similar state. So instead of trying to move, he assessed the situation.

He was in a forest he didn’t know, the trees had needles instead of leaves so he assumed he was in the northern mountains. Beyond that he had no idea what to think, all he could feel was fear. There was a small fire in the center of the clearing in which he laid, it was both a gift and a curse, because along with the little illumination it gave him, it also made it impossible to see very far into the shadows beyond the trees.

He remembered a lesson that Kakashi had taught him on one of his missions, it was about the circle of illumination. He had Sakura start a fire in the woods, then he and naruto stood in the shadows and watched her, they were not very far away but Sakura still didn’t seem to notice them. Kakashi explained that this was something called the circle of illumination. Since they were outside of the light looking in, they could see not only everything lit up by the fire, but also everything in the shadows around them because their eyes were adjusted to the dark. But since Sakura’s eyes were adjusted to the light, she could only see things directly lit up by the fire.

He knew that anything beyond the shadows of the trees could easily spy on his without him being any the wiser, and he assumed that was the plan of his attacker as well. He stared suspiciously into the night, trying to regain his body movement by twitching his mucles and bringing them slowly back to life. By the time he had the ability to walk over to the fire to put it out, it was already dying down to smoking embers and the suns rays were coloring the sky a light shade of blue.

Morning was here, and Naruto didn’t want to stick around to find out what the demon eyed ninja had in store for him. He jumped into the trees and was immediately shot back. He must have set up a barrier around this whole place, He looked down at his now scorched clothes, a fire barrier. After hitting the barrier, Naruto was paralyzed again, but this time from pure pain. He drifted into unconsciousness from the excruciating pain, his mind was shutting down automatically. Oh well, that fox will heal me by the time I wake up, he always does.

[Vegeta]

Length, is okay, the first chapter weighs in at 1155 words and the second at 1211. Could stand to be double those lengths, but seing as you are posting it on a forum that doesn't really matter.

Your writing style is a bit different, only a little, to what I write in, only difference is the way you handle speech, you clump it in, whereas I'd tend to put it on it's own, with a little bit of description.

Spelling is good, don't think I found a mistake, spellcheck?

I would have called your story a bit weird for Hinata fainting, but then I read the latest chapter =\

Story is decent.

Uh, nothing really else to cover. Continue.

[Master Scorpion]

~Awwwww...~ this fic very romantic and sweet than other NaruHina fics out there...:crying

[neko-sennin]

Ah, I found it. I've read the first part, and so I'm liking it very much. You've really managed to capture the feel of both characters, and I can picture the events depicted right out of either the manga or the anime. Very few fanfics I've seen-- let alone "professional" writers of adaptations-- are necessarily able to do that.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_sig_02.jpg

[Brant Kogasu]

thank you...all of you. And for your good reviews, I shall bestow upon you...

PART 3:

Hinata woke the next morning with a huge headache and a very concerned Kurenai standin above her. She was in a hospital bed and, although she had no real injuries, her room was being attended by a medical nin. She sat up in a heartbeat when she remembered those eyes, and Kurenai immediately put her hand on Hinata’s shoulder to calm her back into lying down.

“What happened?”

“Nothing Sensei, I…I was just training at the waterfall, then someone hit the back of my neck and knocked me out, then I was here.”

“Why were you out so late at night.” Kurenai was not angry, just worried and curious, but a shameful glance downward proved that Hinata did not perceive it as anything but angry.

“I’m sorry sensei, I just…want to be strong, so I went to the waterfall…” she trailed off into uninteligable mumbles that would normally cause Kurenai to stifle her laughter but this was no joking matter.

“Don’t worry Hinata, it doesn’t matter what you were doing, did you see your attacker.”

At this, Hinata jumped up again. “He had eyes like a demon, fiery red and orange eyes.”

It had been a while since Hinata had been this scared, the last time Hinata had shown fear like this was against her cousin in the preliminary matches of the tournament. Ever since that battle, Hinata had shown little fear and tons of determination in her eyes, she had grown up enough to get past her weakness. That only meant that this asailent was truly worthy of fear.

“We’ll get him, don’t worry.” With that, Kurenai ran to Tsunade’s office to report. Demon eyes, that’s never a good sign. Especially hearing it from someone who’s eyes are not so normal as it is.

Hinata sat in her bed until the medical nin left on other duties, then she left from out of the window. For some reason, her gut feeling told her to check on Naruto. She ran as fast as her genin legs could carry her towards Naruto’s one room apartment.

She knocked on the door and as she both expected and feared, there was no answer. A brave feeling that was normally very foreign to her suddenly took over her senses. She used her eyes to search his room, there was no one there, but there was a note on the table. She peered closer at it, the handwriting was not what she would imagine Naruto’s to be, it was too neat and nice.

The demon boy is fine, we have him under our official custody. We are in the northern forest of the moon in the country of Earth. This is business under a government of our own so please do not wage war on the hidden village of the Rock.

The Heavenly Four


Hinata’s instincts held true, Naruto was in trouble and he needed her. Hinata ran home guided by something inside that she never knew she had, it was a feeling in her chest near her heart. She assumed it was that thing called intuition that the Adults always talked about when they knew where to catch the right fish or when they opened a business that did well.

She ran to Tsunade immediately, it was a little awkward to Hinata who would much rather tell her sensei but she had to go right to the source. Tsunade sat in her office looking depressed, it was probably the giant stack of papers behind which she was barely visible. As soon as Hinata stormed in, she seemed ecstatic to give her full attention, despite her selfish want to “forget” her paperwork during the conversation.

But the Hokage’s tone soon turned sour when Hinata explained the events of the morning. Not only had she been knocked out, but Naruto had been kidnapped. But the worst part was the mention of the words “heavenly” and “four.” Those words had not been spoken in Konoha since she was a child, they were a group that had been forced to be disbanded because of their failure to comply to missions that didn’t reach their ethical standards. Konoha did the same thing, however the Heavenly Four were so open about it that people began to swerve their services to other organizations.

The Heavenly Four were heroes to the youth, ninja who cared more about justice than money, but they disappeared soon after running out of funds. However, they remained just legends and were soon forgotten when the hype of the war was brought upon Konoha. They were apparently very strong ninja, but no one had ever lived to tell the tale of just how good they were. Since they never hit any big targets, only the children would see these super heroes as anything but gossip.

The good thing was, they would bring no harm to Naruto, he was just a container for a demon and they were not stupid. They would surely know that he had not committed a crime because of their ethical thoroughness in investigation before any mission was carried out. Hinata would be fine for this mission, but maybe some allies.

“Hinata, you are to lead a team of two to meet up with Naruto and bargain with his captors. We can only afford to send two ninja so please choose your team wisely. These ninja will probably not bring any harm to Naruto, but still be careful. This is a class-C mission, I assume you can take the responsibility of leader?” Hinata gave an embarrassed nod and was off immediately after receiving a map of the Northern Forest.

Kurenai snuck in through Tsunade’s window as soon as the Hokage was done with her mission statement. “You know she has a crush on the blonde boy right?” Tsunade buried her head in her hands, maybe she had made a bigger mistake than she had thought.

* * *

“I’m sorry that we had to do this, I hope you can understand.” The voice from the woods called out. Naruto had already had this conversation with the voice, it was probably a machine or something because Naruto’s responses were never acknowledged by the voice. Naruto decided to just let the thing talk, it only spoke about once an hour, and plus Naruto was busy trying to find a way out of this trap.

He already witnessed the failed attempts of about a thousand bunshin trying to break through, He tried throwing kunai which just turned red and melted at the invisible wall, he even tried a rasengan where he thought the wall started, but it only ended in Naruto being sent flying back into the center of the clearing with more burn marks scarring his favorite pajamas.

He had been waiting for too long, not only was this annoying, but Naruto was beginning to get hungry. He already looked through the trees inside of the barrier and there was nothing but leaves. He decided to sleep before the noise of his grumbling stomach got too loud for him to do anything but lay awake in misery.

He was about fifteen minutes into dozing off when he heard a different voice in the forest. It was the voice from his dreams, the soft and soothing voice of his savior. “I am here, but don’t come too close, I’m in a trap.”

Before any answer came from his savior, he heard and explosion and felt a blast from his right. He could feel the pressure recede and the invisible fire wall was obviously down. “Naruto-kun, um…are you okay?”

Naruto was surprised to see his dark haired ally, why was she out in these woods? She was dressed in her normal coat and was well equipped with an emergency pack around her shoulders, It only reminded him of how ridiculous he must look in his pajamas. “Um… Hinata, do you happen to have an extra coat or something? It is getting kind of late and cold.”

She blushed, apologized for not offering it sooner (as unnecessary as apologizing was) and threw him a cloak from her bag. Naruto barely had time to put the cloak on before a booming voice called from behind. “Demon boy, it’s time we had a little chat.” It was different from the recorded voice, much more angry and demanding.

“Hinata, we have to run now” she needed no further prodding before she jumped into the trees following Naruto as close as she could. She was about to tell him that Shino was waiting at a rendezvous point just on the outskirts of the forest but she was distracted by a voice from behind.

“You can’t run far boy” The man with the booming voice had obviously found the clearing. “We’ll catch you before you can say…” He was cut off by an explosion. He probably found one of the exploding tags that held Naruto captive for the past day. “Damn it Atohi, you are dead when I get my hands on you.”

The two Konoha Genin used the confusion to change direction, maybe it would buy them enough time to make a clean getaway. And sure enough, booming loud curses shattered the quiet of the forest accompanied by a barely audible “I lost him.”

They kept running all through the night, neither of them paying attention to their destination, the only thing on their minds was leaving no tracks or trace of their journey so they wouldn’t be found. By the time they finally stopped running, they were deep within an unknown pine forest and the sun was just peaking over the eastern horizon. It was then that Hinata’s actions stopped being guided by that feeling in her heart and she realized the reality of the situation.

She was alone in the woods with Naruto. They were together, running away from the same enemy, with no other team mates or a Sensei. Hinata turned deep crimson as Naruto scoped the surroundings. “Hey Hinata, there’s a cave hidden behind this bush, it looks pretty deep. Uh…Hinata.” But she was lost within her own mind. Alone, with Naruto. We’re going to hide alone together and eat alone together and sleep…with Naruto. At this thought, her brain had taken too much for her to handle. And just like before when he held her hand, she passed out. Sleep…with…Naruto.

[neko-sennin]

...Ah, yes "that damn fox" has his uses. Just read Part 2, and hopefully tomorrow I'll get to read Part 3. Interesting direction you're taking with this. I'm very interested to find out what business this mysterious foe has that involves both Naruto and Hinata.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_sig_02.jpg

[neko-sennin]

Finally finished Part 3. I can see that you have some mastery of the Art of the Tease, revealing secrets bit by bit, rather than showing your hand all at once. I look forward to seeing how Hinata copes with getting (after a fashion) what she's always wanted in Part 4.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_sig_02.jpg

[Brant Kogasu]

maybe part 4, maybe part 5... I still have some loose ends to tie up. But it will be nice. There is going to be a lot more going on than meets the eye, I'll give you a hint, the Heavenly Four are not bad guys in any way. And more will be revealed about them in the next chapter, as well as maybe an authors note about where I got the characters from.

[neko-sennin]

Cool. Just remember the cardinal rule of fiction: Show, don't tell.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_sig_02.jpg

[Brant Kogasu]

of course. Um... I want to know what my writing needs to improve, and maybe some advice on where to go. I'm kinda stuck right now.

[neko-sennin]

I usually hate to sound like I'm advertising or endorsing things, but I would strongly recommend Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. (You don't even have to buy it; I'm sure it's floating around at your local library.)

[shameless plug]That book is specifically about writing fiction, and was inifnitely more helpful than all the other books I've read about writing put together. It revolutionized the way I write.[/shameless plug].

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_sig_02.jpg

[Brant Kogasu]

thanks...steven king huh? I'll give it a try. (It's not about horror is it?)

[neko-sennin]

No, that's Danse Macabre. :) On Writing is about fiction writing in general.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_v2_01.jpg

[Brant Kogasu]

cool, it might be a while till my next update. I was writing the thing and my computer freaked out and killed it before I saved, and I can't write right now, I'm going throgh some tough life shit.

[neko-sennin]

Do what you need to, Brant. I'll be waiting.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/scoot_the_koan/osaka_power_v2_01.jpg

[neko-sennin]

Not nagging, Brant, just words of encouragement to let you know that I, at least, will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter when you're ready to resume.

[Jakatsu]

Wow...I'm Impressed!I really liked the fic. Keep this up, and Ill keep reading!

[Hissatsu]

Sweet fic dude...PUT MORE SOON OR FEEL MY FURRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please :)

[Nihongofreak]

very nice, i enjoyed alot, looking forward to the next chapter

[KILLjoy]

yeah update soon! like everyone else is saying.. i like it a lot! and for some reason....i love Naruhina FF.....is that a mental probalem or something? should i go see a shrink or something? well anywas before i ramble on about my various mental problems... UPDATE!:nuts

[Hissatsu]

Give us more dang it or I'll find you and beat the crap out of you!!!

[neko-sennin]

My apologies, Brant. I don't know when you're going to return, but I didn't mean for my simple bump to produce such a wave a pressure for you. Please come back with the next chapter whenever you're ready.

[Raptor]

I'm not really into NaruHina since it's the most used couple. But good work.

[Lord James]

Excellent job!! The NaruHina scenes in your fanfic is just so cute! You even put up some logic relevant to the ninja world of Naruto. Though the Hinata in your fic is very daring.... Daring enough to kiss Naruto, and also daring to think about sleeping with Naruto...:laugh

And you did a great job of glueing the reader to your fic for answers. :amuse

Don't feel pressured to return with an update. Don't sweat it. As long as it maintains its high quality, we're happy :wink

Oh and just so you know, yours is the first fanfic I've read, and it was worth every sentence :cry

[Crizo]

This is the best NaruHina fanfic ive ever read (-yes i am obsessed-)... UPDATES PLZ!!!!!! This is an awesome story, with Hinata being so daring, and Naruto not having a clue as always.:huh Hinata's well... being Hinata:amuse She is actually thinking about SLEEPING WITH NARUTO!!!! She cant talk to him too good so how do you even see her THINKING that? But i disgress, it's excellently written, I give it an 11/10!

[Hissatsu]

post more dang you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......please

[Kiri_No_Haku]

Did you see the one I found off the internet.Go to *BIG SPOILER*Hinata's confession even though it ain't a spoiler but one episode it's going to happen.
So tell me on the one I found what did you think?

[Zer010]

Very impressive work :kthumb

Your literary work is easy to read and very imersive. You have made good use of Hinatas desires leaking through her shyness while remaining coy and teasing the audience to follow, rolling them across your palm if you will.

I look forward to your updates. Works of this quality are rare nowadays.

Cheers :amuse

[Brant Kogasu]

wow, sorry guys. I didn't mean to leave you hanging like that. I haven't really been on the forums much at all, I go to school from 7:15 to 2:30 and work from 3:30 to 10:00. I barely get my homework done before I pass out, but seeing as this story was a hit, I will make it my porogative to continue. NEW CHAPTER TONIGHT, IT'S A PROMISE!!!!!

[Lord James]

Don't worry, you don't have to promise. :thumbs Just take your time. :amuse

[Brant Kogasu]

well, it was a bad promise anyway. I really do feel bad though. I lost the entire thing from my computer so now I have to re-copy it into word and re-read it to find out where I am. BLEH! oh well. I owe it to you guys.

[BlackMageDryfe]

W00t this is like the FF ive become most obssessed with, you REALLY make Hinata what makes all of us like her and teh Naruhina... i expect more great work from j00... and more lovey-dovey WOOT NOT PORN just regular cute lovey-dovey

[Brant Kogasu]

not long enough for a new chapter, but I thought I'd post my progress...

Naruto watched the pine trees wave in the cold evening wind, although he was a screw up most of the time, he knew how to forecast the weather. Winter’s white mistress would pay the duo a visit tonight, and from the look of those ominous clouds, it was not small blanket of snow.

That was the curse of the north, so many fast weather changes that it was impossible to tell what was to happen next. Naruto sighed and looked behind him into the cave. He had stockpiled enough wood for weeks of campfires, and had caught and gathered food for probably longer. He was going to miss his ramen, but with Hinata in an unknown condition, he thought it wise to stay put instead of move around.

It was odd, Hinata had passed out twice in the past two days, Naruto assumed she was sick so he also gathered herbs and river stones to grind them into medicinal paste. As the wind blew harder and the last bit of red glow from the sun began to diminish over the horizon, Naruto went to grab a blanket from Hinata’s pack, thus realizing that there was only one blanket.

The blanket was rather large, and it was thick and warm enough to handle the oncoming weather, but the fact that he was to share a blanket with Hinata for some reason brought a flush to his “whiskered” cheeks. He was young, but not stupid. He knew that when a man slept together with a woman it was a tale not to be told in public. He also assumed that the subject matter of Jiraiya’s books had something to do with it as well.

Naruto closed off the cave entrance, with some brush and bark that would effectively block the snow. Luckily, there was an air hole in such a place that it would not be blocked by the snow, the other side of the hole rested under a ledge of rocks. He knew that though plenty of air would make it through, the hole would fit no more than his head, and Hinata would be trapped with Naruto until the snow melted.

Naruto wasted no time, he wrapped himself with Hinata so their body heat would keep them both warm, and he dozed off. Little did he know that in his sleep, he instinctively moved toward her warmth until he had his arms wrapped around her and his cheek was nuzzled up against her shoulder.

[Kiri_No_Haku]

Awwwwww!Cute.Really.Nice job.

[neko-sennin]

Cool. Thanks for the update. Keep working on it whenever you can.

PS: The Book of Hondo has been moving right along, and is already up to Book 10, "The Book of Spooky Doors" (all in the same thread). Feel free to check it out when you get the chance.

[White Abyss]

Haven't had time to read it now but will read it ASAP! from the last few sentences in that little excerpt you gave....im guessing its a good NaruHina Fanfic :nod ....JOIN THE PATIENT LOVE NARUTO X HINATA FC!!!!......sorry....

[Brant Kogasu]

read if you can, people have said it's pretty good. as for the book of Hondo, I belive I was on book 4 before I took my little forum break. Hopefully I'll have the time to get back into it.

[White Abyss]

I was wondering.....to help my comp, could you delete ttoads really really long post? purty plz?

[Brant Kogasu]

I would if I could (or at least get rid of some of the exlaimation) but I have as much power as a slug in a salt mine.

[neko-sennin]

read if you can, people have said it's pretty good. as for the book of Hondo, I belive I was on book 4 before I took my little forum break. Hopefully I'll have the time to get back into it.

No prob. The Book is public domain, so feel free to copy and paste it, and read it at your leisure elsewhere, if you wish. :mgai

And I'll keep an eye out for future chapters.

[Brant Kogasu]

Huh, I'm still alive? I can't believe it either guys. Well, it has been a while since I updated this story, so I wanted to give you an "I'm finally back" gift in the form of a new chapter. By the way, it is WAY incomplete. It is actually what I've worked on since my last story post and in fact includes some of the old post as well. Please be patient with re-reading the old parts, I added a lot!

Naruto watched the pine trees wave in the cold evening wind, although he was a screw up most of the time, he knew how to forecast the weather. Winter’s white mistress would pay the duo a visit tonight, and from the look of those ominous clouds, it was not small blanket of snow.

That was the curse of the north, so many fast weather changes that it was impossible to tell what was to happen next. Naruto sighed and looked behind him into the cave. He had stockpiled enough wood for weeks of campfires, and had caught and gathered food for probably longer. He was going to miss his ramen, but with Hinata in an unknown condition, he thought it wise to stay put instead of move around.

Naruto decided that it would be nice to move around before the looming storm, so he set some wire traps around the cave and took a hike. The more he walked he became increasingly more amazed by the scenery. He had always seen trees like the ones in Konoha, but these were spectacular. Their scent filled his nostrils and made him feel refreshed and calm with every breath.

It was getting later into the day and Naruto wanted to be prepared for the long winter. He watched the wildlife around him to see what they ate, then took off his pajama top and harvested tons of berries, mushrooms, fruits and whatever roots he recognized as edible food. He went back to the cave several times, stockpiling his food in a corner, extra careful and quiet so as not to wake Hinata.

After he had sufficient berries, and had caught about three dozen fairly large trout from a local stream, he used his rasengan to collect firewood. “Sakura would be proud, I must be a great ninja to prepare like this.” But the though brought an unexpected feeling of sorrow.

He hadn’t thought about Sakura recently. But having been so far separated from her, he started using logic to think about his obsession. He had always known that she liked Sasuke, and there was nothing Naruto could do to change her feelings. But he hadn’t realized that his feelings for her had been constantly wearing away with the passage of time.

He was getting sick of rejection. Of Sakura constantly ignoring his feelings and turning to Sasuke for everything. There was no chance that they were going to be a couple, it was just not meant to be. But even though it made Naruto sad, he felt somewhat like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was finally able to move on, he no longer had to fight that age old losing battle.

As his mind had wandered, he had harvested plenty of firewood. And because Hinata had passed out twice in the past two days, Naruto assumed she was sick and gathered herbs and river stones to grind the herbs into medicinal paste. As the wind blew harder and the last bit of red glow from the sun began to diminish over the horizon, Naruto went to grab a blanket from Hinata’s pack, thus realizing that there was only one blanket.

The blanket was rather large, and it was thick and warm enough to handle the oncoming weather, but the fact that he was to share a blanket with Hinata for some reason brought a flush to his “whiskered” cheeks. He was young, but not stupid. He knew that when a man slept together with a woman it was a tale not to be told in public. He also assumed that the subject matter of Jiraiya’s books had something to do with it as well.

Naruto closed off the cave entrance with some brush and bark that would effectively block the snow. Luckily, there was an air hole in such a place that it would not be blocked by the snow, the other side of the hole rested under a ledge of rocks. He knew that though plenty of air would make it through, the hole would fit no more than his head, and Hinata would be trapped with Naruto until the snow melted.

Naruto wasted no time, he wrapped himself with Hinata so their body heat would keep them both warm, and he dozed off. Little did he know that in his sleep, he instinctively moved toward her warmth until he had his arms wrapped around her and his cheek was nuzzled up against her shoulder.

* * *


Hinata was starting to get used to her recent good luck. Although waking next to the one boy that had been the object of her obsessions for years came as a bit of a shock, she realized that feinting would make her miss this perfect moment entirely. She put her hand on his, feeling a light twitch as he reacted to her movement. She held her breath and dared not move a muscle until she was sure he was asleep, then started slowly moving her fingers between his.

Little by little, she pushed his hand further around her waist, in turn pulling his body closer to hers. She soon felt the warmth of his body against her back and felt the slow rise and fall of his chest. His breathing was warm against her, his head moved from her sholder to the curve of her neck. Every breath shot a tingle up and down her spine, her eyes closed halfway in ecstasy.

Hinata had let the moment take over her world. She didn’t realize that this mission was such a blessing. She had completely forgotten Konoha and even the fact that the two of them were currently being chased by an unknown enemy. None of that mattered when she was in his arms. The world didn’t matter, the only thing that had any meaning was Naruto’s body against hers.

She smiled uncontrollably. This was her chance to be with him. She had already taken note of the situation, he and she were snowed in together for probably weeks, given the location and time of year. She may not have the guts now, but she would confess her love to him soon.

And on that thought, she let her eyes close and the comfort of his warmth lull her into a deep sleep.

[PsyBomb]

I like this work, man! Of course, being a NaruHina fan myself...

But this is a really good story of my favorite pairing. The only thing is, I can't seem to date it. I figure it's post-Timeskip, but I don't know by how much.

Reps, and I eagerly await the next chapters!

[Boydgame]

This is a really good fic, I really like the way you write, i hope you will continue to update this!

[Uumunujurupa]

So cute! ^^. I didn't really like NaruHina before, but you've inspired me. To the Fanclubs forum!

[Brant Kogasu]

wow, thank you. It's time for me to write me-thinks... I'll post soon-ish.

[Brant Kogasu]

Well, I am afraid I have some bad news. I am leaving to go on a three week vacation! That means no updates on the story (well, maybe. But probably not)

I am very sad, I am really getting into this story, and with the VERY positive reviews I've been getting, I hate to leave you for such a long time. But do not fear, I promise I'll be back. I hate it when people stop updating their stuff (Ahem...con.ddrninja.com) and having finally re-discovered my love of writing fan fiction, I don't want to leave you with an unfinished story.

So please keep this thread alive. Come back and post some reviews and if you want, maybe refer some other members to the story. I will be back!

And without further rambling, "Um...my Naru Hina fan fiction" chapter... whatever:

There were no birds to signify morning’s arrival, and only dim, filtered light that crept through the small hole offered any solace to Hinata’s eyes. She was waking from a dream only to find herself in another, she was still sleeping with Naruto. His breathing was soft and almost nonexistent so that she had to stuggle to hear the soft, wordless whispers of his breath.

She crept silently out of the blanket and, in turn, from his loving embrace. She stared back at his peaceful form as he stirred in his sleep. He was so innocent with his mouth partly open and his body entangled in a maze of cloth.

After appreciating him for a moment longer, she continued her journey to his supplies and collected the proper wood for a small fire. Maybe he was wiser than she remembered, or maybe just lucky, but he had gotten the correct wood for the campfire. It was perfect for their situation, low smoke production and it burned slowly so it would last longer. She smiled, maybe underneath all of his childish behavior he really is a great ninja.

She began to roast some of the trout. Although the supplies were no where close to her normal mediums, she had a certain instinct when it came to cooking. It didn’t take long for a half conscious Naruto to rise from the blankets to join her by the fire. The ate in a comfortable silence, neither willing to break the perfect quiet of their temporary home.

Even after the meal, the sat by the fire until the embers began to glow and the cold of the cave once again became reality. And it was the notoriously loud ninja who finally began the conversation.

“I think we should be stuck here for a while. We’ll be alright with the food I collected but what about… um… privacy matters” Naruto blushed and turned his vision to the side, too embarrassed to make eye contact. After training for two years with Jiraiya, he had learned a lot (perhaps too much) about adult situations. He had been sneaking in to women’s baths for years, but now that he was rocketing into his adolescence, the sight of women had become a lot less nonchalant.

“If you’d like, I can separate the cave into two rooms and you can have the blanket…” He looked back at her, trying to smile and act the part of the gentleman, “I can live without a blanket, it’ll be nothing compared to being Hokage.”

“I…well… if it’s Naruto-kun… I really don’t mind.” Hinata was bright red, but she had already slept with him, and she was determined to use this opportunity to get closer to him, to kiss him, and to… she closed her eyes in embarassment. “Naruto can… I just…”

“Huh? Hinata, are you okay? You’re face is red, are you sick?” She looked at him, trying to gather her strength.

“No, I’m fine, I just… I want to be with Naruto-kun.” It took all of her nerve to summon those words. But she couldn’t live with herself if she hadn’t said it. He had a blank look on his face, and she began to feel the sting of rejection. But his reply eased her of her fear.

“But we are already together Hinata.” She smiled, maybe it was better to wait anyway.

“I guess you’re right. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” She sighed half of relief and half disappointment. She would have to explain to him soon, she would have to tell him how much she loved him. But rushing into things was never wise, this was for the best.

“Don’t worry Hinata, I’ll explore the cave and see if there are any more rooms, right after I nap off the delicious breckfast.” And with that, he lay down onto the floor and closed his eyes.

Naruto-kun, please love me back. Maybe not right away, but please.

She sat down next to him, pulled the blanket over the two of them, but this time she didn’t allow herself to touch him. She could be patient, she had already waited for him all of her life, what was another few days?

* * *
He knew what she meant. He was not as stupid as when he was a child, he knew exactly what “I want to be with you meant.” He had to think about it.

She was very pretty, he had always found her odd and quiet but she was always there for him in a pinch. Like the time she made medicine for him in the preliminary rounds of the chuunin exams. In fact, the whole idea of being her boyfriend seemed to fit, to be so right, so perfect. But after such a long obsession with his pink haired teammate, he just didn’t really feel like moving on.

It was strange, he knew he could never have Sakura, she was as set on having Sasuke as Naruto was on having her. But recently, his devotion to her had waned. She was someone he could never have, maybe he never even really wanted her.

He had always wanted to have friends, to be with people, to have a family. And he knew he loved Sakura, but was his craving for love turning his feelings into insanity. He loved her like a sister, someone to pick on, to joke with, but that was like the love of a sibling.

His feelings for Hinata were somehow different. For some reason his stomach was making knots whenever he thought of her changing or staying close to her for warmth. Was it awkwardness, or was it something he’d never felt before? I’ll give it time, maybe I can learn to love Hinata too.

And on that note he stood up, stretched his limbs, and went to explore the cave. He turned to the still form beside him and smiled, “I’m going to go explore the cave,” he was sure she was asleep but he whispered to her anyway, “I want to think about things, maybe I want to be with you too.” He tucked the blanket under her and walked off to the unexplored dark end of the cavern. Unbeknownst to him, Hinata’s heart was now pounding into her ears as an uncontrollable smile overtook her face.

“…be with me too.”

[PsyBomb]

:clap :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap


... What? It's a standing ovation!

[Uumunujurupa]

That's a pretty gutsy Hinata. I'm surprised she hasn't passed out about a dozen times by now. o_0;

[PsyBomb]

That's a pretty gutsy Hinata. I'm surprised she hasn't passed out about a dozen times by now. o_0;
She actually did faint twice, earlier. Now, though, there was a line in there saying that this is too good of an opportunity to waste by fainting, so she's staying conscious. Had to happen eventually, and this is a very good time for her to make the resolution.

[Boydgame]

This story is really getting good! im glad you arent gonna abandon it, but it still sucks that your not gonna write any more for 3 weeks, im about to go on like a 3.5 week vacation, and i won't be able to read it anyway. But still...

[SniXSniPe]

Chop chop with the next chapters...

I'm interested :)

[neko-sennin]

Welcome back, Brant! (Sorry about the lateness of my response, I've been carzy busy all week, and I'm just finally catching up on things.)

I'm glad to see you've rediscovered your inspiration. It would have been a tragedy for a tale of such potential to go unfinished. Even more encouraging is that you haven't lost the feel of the story, something that is always a risk when something's been put aside for a long time.

Keep up the good work, enjoy your vacation, and come back to your story refreshed.

[Brant Kogasu]

I'm back for one day before I have to leave on another trip (One vacation after another, aren't I lucky) and I wanted to give you guys a bit more.

I hope I can write more before I leave, but no promises. Please read and review and most importantly, enjoy.

By the way, I think this one is kind of short. Sorry, it is 5:00 am and Tim needs to go to bed.

The cave seemed small at a first glance, but upon further inspection, the cave was closer to the size of a daimyo’s castle. It had been probably close to three hours since Naruto began his exploration and although he was no where near finished, he decided to head back to the main room to consult Hinata.

He had left a trail of kunai marks pointing towards the direction he had come from and found his way fairly quickly, even despite the miles of underground tunnels. When he returned, Hinata was waiting with a hot meal. He smiled at her, “I can always depend on Hinata’s cooking.”

It was an awkward compliment, but Naruto had never been good with words. He truly did mean it though, she was dependable. She was always there for him when he needed her, something that he had missed out on in his lonely life as an orphan. He had always wanted a friend that he could trust, someone to watch out for him through thick and thin, but there was something more than friendship that he could feel.

They spoke between bites about Naruto’s findings. She hung on his every word and when he was finally finished decided to mention that her Byakugan might be an asset if he wanted to continue. He felt stupid for not considering her ability sooner, but hid his disgrace and agreed.

They finished their food, it was the last of the fish and they had to have it before it went bad, and immediately left to continue the exploration. Hinata was truly amazed, the cave went further than her range with Byakugan, but something else seemed to strike her as odd.

The cave seemed to be naturally formed, a normal cave that had been worn away by water, but it had the precision of a man made building. Every room led to another and there was always enough space to stand without hitting their heads on the ceiling of the cave. In some places it felt like the rock purposely formed furniture like shapes. This was no ordinary cave. And then something caught her attention.

“Naruto, there is a room that I can’t see, I can’t penetrate the wall with my eyes!” He was shocked, as was she, there was nothing that the Byakugan couldn’t see though. “I can see the way in, but the entrance is hidden behind a stalagmite. Come this way!”

They ran through several rooms until they found the stalagmite, it was placed perfectly so that every angle would hide the small entrance from view. They slid behind the stalagmite, Naruto in the lead, and moved into the hidden entrance.

It was a tighter fit than Naruto could imagine, he couldn’t take a full breath because the cave walls were so tight against him. Hinata was smaller and more slender but still seemed to be in the same position, her breathing became sharp. He pressed on, the cave walls getting impossibly closer together and almost gave up until he saw something amazing.

Light poured through a small crack right ahead of him, because the light was so bright, and the cave so dark, he couldn’t see what lied beyond. “Hinata,” he said as discernibly as he could, “is there any chance that this room leads outside?”

“No, this is too deep within the cave, we are about two hundred feet underground right now.” Her voice was even softer than normal, the tight cave was affecting their air supply. He had to get through into the light.

The crack was too small to fit his body, but he still had enough room to fit his hand through. “Hinata, I need an exploding kunai, as soon as I place it, we need to move fast.” She nodded her consent and handed him the knife. “Go!” they scrambled out of the way of the explosion, just in time to miss the deadly rock debris that shot out at lightning speed. When the dust cleared, they made their way back towards the light.

They crawled through the newly formed rubble and into a room more spectacular than anything they had ever seen. It was huge, maybe a few square miles, and taller than most of the buildings in Konoha. The ground was covered in grass, the rock hard ground replaced with soft clay. There was a forest that ran through most of the clearing of trees the likes they’d never before seen.

Each tree was giant, tall enough to almost touch the ceiling and at least eight feet in diameter. At the forest’s edge was a lake that seemed alive with glistening light. There was life inside the water as seen by the random splashes made on the surface by fish eager to catch a meal.

A building, more like a castle or mansion, sat across the lake and partially inside the forest. The traditional Japanese woodwork and curved rooftops seemed to somehow fit into the greatness of the surrounding nature.

The source of light was a giant orb of white that stayed suspended in mid-air like a miniature sun. if it weren’t for the dark cave walls, it would seem as if the clearing were actually outside.

But the one thing that really drew their eyes was a statue that stood on an island in the middle of the lake. There stood the smiling figures of the First and Second Hokage, and next to them a young Third.

[ixt0000]

Nice chapter my friend. I just can't wait until you return from your vacation so you can keep the chapters coming. As always keep up the good work.

[PsyBomb]

Interesting... Most interesting.

[neko-sennin]

Interesting. The plot thickens...

Keep up the good work, Brant.

[BooTheGhost]

Wow, this is amazing. You are great.

[Brant Kogasu]

hey guys, I'm back! So many stories of california and wyoming and nevada. I went through utah but never stopped. well, fun times ahead, can't wait to get back into this story, I will tonight, but I have to go to the pool to cool off. tonight kinda means early morning too, I am a night owl, so don't expect anything til two ish.

[Brant Kogasu]

wow, a little later that it was two in the morning tree days ago. I will do my best but I'd rather choose quality over speed.

[neko-sennin]

wow, a little later that it was two in the morning tree days ago. I will do my best but I'd rather choose quality over speed.

We wouldn't have it any other way, Brant.

Keep up the good work.

[sensei_andrew]

Super Kawaii I love it, make more.

[Brant Kogasu]

Yes, I am cruel! I'm just warning you that the end of this installment is a cliffhanger. I didn't want to do it, but my girlfriend called and I am going to her house where she will cook for me, and play video games with me (I love my life.) well, guys, here it is.

Naruto and Hinata had explored the castle for hours. It was truly a wonder of human engineering, every wooden beam stood straight and solid as if it were only cut down and polished a few days prior to their arrival. Nothing was rotting, no spider webs were present, even the floor, which probably hadn’t been walked on in half of a century, was dust free and polished enough to see the ceiling in it’s reflection.

Naruto and Hinata kept silent as if it was a holy place, they let their feet roll across the floor and distributed their weight so that the floor wouldn’t creak underneath them. After seeing hundreds of rooms, each with it’s own purpose, they finally found their destination.

The library was filled with books and scrolls of at least a thousand varieties. Light poured in through a window high into the room and trickled down to illuminate the room in a soft yet bright golden light. Hinata broke the silence with an astonished sigh then whispered to Naruto.

“I think we should look for some type of journal, maybe we can learn the secrets of this place.” Naruto, for once, had nothing to say, but instead nodded his consent and traveled to the part of the library labeled “historical reference.” She in turn headed to a loft that appeared to be a study located near the back and up a set of spiral stairs.

Naruto began looking and found some books with value, but most with general information about the worlds history that he had learned in the academy. The most valuable book was titled “the lost war,” it held facts about secret wars that had been covered up by the great nations centuries ago. It had nothing about where he was, but Naruto held on to it anyway.

Naruto finally gave up his search and went to where Hinata was. He found her digging through a pile of papers on the ground with a focused look on her face. Then, in a flash, her had shot up triumphantly. “This is it!” She turned to Naruto and held up a leather covered hand written journal. “Look on the front”

On a small note some scribbled words were written: “Those who truly have Konoha souls may read these pages.”

“I thought this whole place was odd, we have seen a statue of our Hokage, and this book was clearly intended for ninja of Konoha, even though we are deep within the Country of Earth.” Hinata was surprised that Naruto had deducted that, she thought she was a step ahead of him but somehow he was thinking like a ninja. After the initial shock of Naruto using his brain subsided, she opened the book to the first page.

Day 1,

I regret to say I am not going to give you a date, being here in the Earth Country during this time would probably start another war, I would rather not take the risk.

If you are here and are reading these words, you are likely Konoha born. We have sealed this place with a jutsu that can only be released by one who posses the spirit of our village. And so we welcome you to this castle and give you our explicit permission to respectfully use this house as your own. After the final page of this journal is a map of this castle and the surrounding cave please return it when you leave.

And now that I have the formalities out of the way, allow to explain how this paradise came to be...

[Brant Kogasu]

um... I hope I haven't driven you all away with my lack of updates. That'd suck, I was really into this one so please, in the name of all that is sacred, post some comments. I'll get more story to you when I get feedback. (I need the inspiration.) Oh, by the way, this whole post is basically a cop out for being out of ideas and buying more time to think of a good way to take this story into a good direction

[DarkFire]

wow what a awesome fan fic keep up the good work!!!!1

[Brant Kogasu]

I will soon, I'm in between shifts at work right now.

[Brant Kogasu]

wow, I am a lazy bastard. Well, I couldn't get any inspiration to continue the Naru Hina storyline, so I added more of the big story. Don't worry, this story has substance! Nothing pisses me off more than a story where everything is perfect, when there are no villians or obstacles to overcome. This is gunna be a good'un, don' you worry. But all stereotypical accents aside, please enjoy the next installment of Um... my naru hina fanfic

It was an eerie fog, the kind that seemed to watch you and sent a soft chill through your spine. The sound of the wind was a constant rhythmic lullaby, filling the air with a false calm. The tops of tall buildings were hidden behind the thick white, even the full moon’s powerful light was only a slight glow to any who stared to the heavens. The hidden village of the sand was on high alert.

It wouldn’t be half as frightening if the fog weren’t in the middle of the desert, it was obviously an attack, but by who? Gaara had rounded up each of his citizens, they were in the safest place possible, well guarded by not only his elite jounin, but a maze of earth that Gaara himself had built. It was all but impenetrable, and it was not on Gaara’s mind at all. It was odd, he should be worried about everyone else more than himself, but a strong gut feeling told him that they were not the targets. He had a feeling that someone was after his inner demon.

He let some sand leak from his gourd, he slowly pulled it around himself until it was in front of his face. “How much more trouble are you going to bring me?” The sand stayed emotionless, the demon had lived for countless lifetimes and was not about to let his host make him feel guilt or anger or anything else.

Gaara let the sand creep back into the gourd. He began scanning his surroundings for any sign of an enemy, but besides the mist, there was nothing. Not a sound, not a trace of anyone but himself. A few times he thought he heard something but it ended up being nothing but his mind making up noises for him to chase. He knew it was no gen-jutsu, if it was he would have released it, the fog was indeed driving him to madness.

Then, the soft and familiar sound of a shoe shifting in the sand. It was behind him. Then another, in front of him, one on a rooftop to the right, one down an alleyway. Something was off, it was only one audible footstep for each direction then it disappeared. He must be jumping, somehow landing in each spot for only a second on one foot then moving to a new spot. The movements were within seconds, but too far apart for this to be logical. He was fast.

Through the mist, a light and kind voice from where the last footsteps fell in the alleyway “I think I have given a good demonsrtation of my abilities. Yes, there is only one me.” The voice in split seconds changed direction to a spot right in front of Gaara. “You see, my abilities are to remain a secret, otherwise I’d be happy to tell you how to do this. However, I gave you that demonstration to give you the knowledge that running is futile, I wish for you to come with me.”

Faster even than the strike of a snake, a man wearing blue was behind him. “Good night my friend.” The man closed his eyes and smiled, the battle was over. Gaara never had a chance to defend himself, or to realize what had happened beforehe hit the ground. His vision was fading, he was knocked out from a blow that he never saw, from a man who was faster than thought. Yet despite the speed, it still had the strength to penetrate his armor of sand. “Who are you?” Then the world went black.

[DarkFire]

NOOOOO!!!!!U left me at a cliffhanger dun do this to me WAHHHHHHH!!!!!PLZ continue and make a good ending WAHHHHH

[Kyuubi! Naruto]

This is the best fanfic i have ever read!
keep up the good work!:nod

[Brant Kogasu]

thanks so much guys. I'll write more tonight if possible.

by the way This is the best fanfic i have ever read!
keep up the good work!
wow! thank you so much. That is the kind of support that keeps a writer going.

[Brant Kogasu]

He he he, I am evil. I haven't updated like I promised, I'm a bad person. and to make things worse, I have to go to work in a little while so I can't give you a full update, but I did what I could. I'm not going to make another promise about my next update because I'm afraid I won't keep it, but I will update again soon my friends.

Well, here we go

Hinata was in a world of fog. She couldn’t see anything, but she heard the sounds of a battle far away. She tried her byakugan, but found the world just as misty as before. “That won’t work here, cool trick though. Let me show you one of my tricks.”

Hinata shot up from her slumber in a cold sweat. She looked around her, no mist, no foreign ninja, just naruto drooling onto his pillow and making unintelligible murmurs in his sleep. What was the meaning of the dream, it was so vivid. The mist felt wet against her skin, the ground solid beneath her feet.

She decided to get up and explore the last few rooms of the castle that they had not yet explored. It was odd, the rooms were there on the map but were unmarked, they just appeared to be empty rooms. Curiosity usually didn’t get the better of her but she needed something to take her mind off of the dream.

Then fear began to set in, a warm mist started to fill the air. The closer she got to the unmarked rooms the less she could see in front of her, her byakugan again wouldn’t work. She walked quickly forward, feeling around with her hands, until she found a door handle.

There was no noise beyond the door, no distant battle or even the soft sound of breathing. Her heart pounded into her throat. Beads of sweat began to run down her face and into her eyes, the salty liquid stung her eyes but she was too afraid to blink.

Beyond this door could be an enemy, the enemy who mocked her in her dreams. She could be walking into her death. Her hands shook in anticipation, her legs burned with the denied instinct to run. She had to see beyond this door.

She began pulling on the handle, letting the door panel slide slowly to the side. Hot mist hit her in the face as it escaped the door, it was so thick that she almost choked in an attempt to breathe. She couldn’t cough, her fear wouldn’t give her the relief even despite the burning itch in her throat.

Then the mist cleared, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

[Brant Kogasu]

hey guys, I didn't know if you caught the update (check above post) nobady's checked back on the topic and I wanted some feedback. (So I can get on to my next post) Thanks for reading (I love writing in parentheses)

[DarkFire]

awesome faNFIC(AS USUAL) i really enjoyed it wht u can improve on in every update is make the thing longer so i can't wait andkill myself between updates(I'm going of suspense on cloffhangers)>_<but they keep me reading GJ

[Brant Kogasu]

Ok, not gonna lie, this one's raunchy. This chapter is intended for people with an open mind about love. (Nothing sexual but VERY close) So you know the drill: This fic has been rated PG-13 for innuendo and nudity and is not intended for immature audiences.

Oh, and in the first part I go into the history of another character, Woo Hoo!

Here we go, I warned you:

“Don’t worry, this village will always be your home.” It was the First Hokage, the man revered not only for his abilities, but for his heart. He was talking to a young boy no more than twelve, the boy's tears sparkled in his fiery red and orange eyes. “Your destiny is with them, they can help you with your… special abilities more than we can.”

“But I don’t want to leave, my friends are here. I want to live here forever.” His tears began to fall down his face, his lower lip quivered but he fought back his torrent of emotions.

“It’s not goodbye my young friend, you can come back whenever you want. You have a Konoha soul so when you return you will be welcomed with open arms.”

“But…” A ninja dressed in blue patted him on the back. His blonde hair fell in front of his right eye, his left eye was the color of the sea and sparkled as if the sun danced off of the ocean’s waves. He had a genuine smile, one that calmed the young warrior and helped ease the tears.

“We’ll be back kid, and guess what.” He wiped a tear out from under Atohi’s eye, “The sooner we train you and the harder you work, the sooner you can come back to see your friends. So the faster we get going the sooner you get to come back here.” Atohi nodded, took one last look at his Hokage, then turned and walked with the man in blue into a thick fog.

“Hey kid, I want to show you something I’ve been working on, hold on tight.” With that, the blonde man jumped into the mist faster than the strike of a snake.

“He will get training from people like himself, this is all I can do for him. Good luck Atohi, you’ll always be my star pupil.” The Hokage turned and walked toward town, “I’ll see you again, someday.”

* * *

“Naruto, come quick!”

It was the loudest Naruto had ever heard Hinata speak, Naruto woke up and immediately ran towards the noise. She was deep into the castle, the part they hadn’t yet explored. A mix of excitement and fear filled his gut as he wondered what she found.

“Where are you? I can’t see through the mist.” In his excitement, he failed to notice how out of place the mist was, or how the smell was so familiar. Then, he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It was faint, but he could make out the shape of a doorway and he immediately ran towards it.

Then the mist cleared and revealed a hot spring. There was Hinata, her face stuck in an overjoyed expression as she dipped her feet into the water. “The water is perfect, I’ve missed my bath so much.”
She turned and looked into Naruto’s eyes, but soon turned bright red and let her gaze fall to the floor. “Can we… can we… take a bath?”

Naruto sighed, he hadn’t thought about her statement earlier about being with him much. But he looked at her, she was so beautiful with her feet dangling playfully into the water, maybe she was the family he needed. “Yes, I’d love to.”

He took off his shirt, which made her turn a brighter shade of red and then began to walk towards the water. “Hinata, you might want to look away.” She nodded but didn’t move her head, he could tell she was still watching from the corner of her eye. Oh well, he thought, here goes nothing. He took off his pants, slowly at first but then shoved his embarrassment into the depths of his being and completely stepped out of his clothing.

He started walking into the water, little by little he let himself get deeper into the water, and little by little Hinata’s gaze crept over only to rest on Naruto’s form. When he was waist deep in the water he found a place to sit down, then turned to face her. “Sorry if I was too…”

“No, I don’t mind.” She smiled uncontrollably and stared off into the nothing in the corner of the room. “I guess, if I saw Naruto…”

She didn’t finish her statement before she began taking off her shirt. Naruto couldn’t help but stare in awe as she slowly showed more of her body. Her skin was perfect, even from a distance it looked soft and had a seducing creamy color, she looked like a goddess. As she revealed more, Naruto could see the curves of her body. She started looking remarkably feminine, the curves of her back and stomach and… chest.

Then she started pulling her pants off of her hips, the curves continued and Naruto’s heart began to flutter. When the clothes were fully off, Naruto could barely breathe as he watched her.

“I…I don’t know if I’m attractive. Thank you for not laughing.”

He shook his head, “You are far from unattractive.” He was in such awe that his awkwardness was completely forgotten, instead he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that compelled him to get closer to her. He fought it though, trying to force himself back into reason.

She walked into the water, and cautiously made her way towards Naruto. She sat beside him and allowed her leg to touch his, then, her shoulder against his. Naruto let his instinct take over and turned to face her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him.

Her chest touched his, one of Hinata's arms began wrapping around his waist and the other drifted to the back of his head. She ran her fingers through his hair and looked deeply into his eyes as he stared back into hers. “Hinata, I think I…” But she made the first move. She pulled him into her. Their hearts were beating in their ears, their eyes closed, and finally their lips met.

[DarkFire]

AWWWWWWW ITS SO GOOD AWESOME JOB WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!15/10 MAN THAT WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!!

[Brant Kogasu]

By the way Itachi fire, your comments have helped me keep writing, reps for you. Do you know anyone else who likes fanfics? If you do invite them over, nothing makes me happier than having my stuff read and enjoyed.

By the way, I'm fixing a few gramatical errors in the last update, nothing big, just me being an idiot and not proof reading my story before posting.

P.S. If you really feel like repping me for this, post in this thread and leave your name in the rep, I'll return the favor (it's people who rep that make a happy writer after all).

[you55207]

yo i was reffred here by itachifire(my cousin) i really enjoyed this i'm a NaruHina fan and this fanfic conviced me to belive that!(YAH!) I want to rep you!

[neko-sennin]

By the way, Brant, don't feel too bad about the delays; this past week or so has been one logistical nightmare after another for me, so I just finally got to catch up on your story.

Great work! (Later, I'm going to have to re-read the earlier chapters to see what connections I can find between Gaara's sidestory, and the main branch of it.) And there's nothing to be ashamed of about that last chapter; it still captured "NaruxHina" atmosphere perfectly. It's not often you see such a well-written hot-springs scene.

By the way, are you familiar with a series called Ai Yori Aoshi? Don't worry, I'm not accusing you of plagiarism or anything like that, I'm just saying that you managed to capture a similar-- if younger-- vibe, that's all. I think you might like it-- there's also a couple good hot springs chapters in that one, even better than in Love Hina. But then again, while Naruto is nothing like Kaoru, Hinata is a lot like a younger Aoi. I can see it now...

AOI: "Kaoru-sama... I can tell you anything, right?"

KAORU: "Yes, Aoi-chan, anything at all. Um, what is it?"

AOI: "No, it's too embarrassing..."

KAORU: "Please. You can tell me."

AOI: "But... It's just so embarrassing... I don't know how to say it..."

KAORU: "But now I'll wonder about it until you tell me."

AOI: "Promise you won't laugh, Kaoru-sama?"

KAORU: "I promise, Aoi-chan."

AOI: "Okay... Kauru-sama, I... I want to be a ninja!"

* Kaoru is too stunned to speak *

AOI:"I can have Tina-san teach me survival skills... and Tae-chin teach me mystical arts... and Miyabi-san can teach me martial arts..."

* Kaoru is still too stunned to speak *

* Mayu barges in *

MAYU: "I heard that! Hanabashi-sama, to win your heart, Mayu will become the greatest ninja ever! Saiyonji can get me the best training money can buy, and you'll see just how great a ninja I can be!..."

...Or something like that.

Anyhoo, great job, Brant. Most of the time, I'm not much into reading fanfics, so it says something that I'm still reading this. You're doing an awesome job.

[Brant Kogasu]

I haven't ever seen Ai Yori Aoshi. I've heard of it though. This hot spring idea, though a tad overused in the anime world, is 100% me. I based it on the many (embarassing) hot spring moments in Naruto itself. But the way I would have liked them to go. Plus, the hot springs are actually going to play a larger role in the future of this story. Maybe something about a certain training that may or may not be going on in the manga right now. I hate stories that introduce things that have no purpose, I will die before I make my story into a piece of crap.

Thanks so much for reading, I can't wait to update again. Until then, check this guy out. He has some really good art and I think he deserves a little attention for his skill. http://forums.narutofan.com/showthread.php?t=122528. His name is Sanyos and he's got mad skillz...with a "z" instead of an "s" at the end.

Well, see ya.

[Leonhart_Strife]

Nice story can't wait till the next chapter

update soon!

[Yagami]

I just finnished reading and I'm amazed by your naruxhina story. Keep it up.
wow wow

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

I love the fanfic very much 19/10.Hope the next one even better

[Brant Kogasu]

By the way, this character is very close to me. I have been putting into stories since middle school. He finally found his place (with the help of some chinese mythology) in the world of Naruto. Hm... Tim needs some sleep. I hope that this update isn't so grammatically terrible that it melts the eyes of you my oh so beloved readers.

He stood in the shadows, a true ninja. He was not seen, not heard, there was not the slightest clue to his existence. From his vantage in the highest point of the forest he could see everything, yet there was not a trace of his prey. Damn the snow, it covered their tracks and forced them into one of the thousands of caves that the forest was legendary for.

The cold snow bit at his face, but he stood still. He had lost the chase and there was no sting more painful the his self hatred. Even the sky above mocked him, the white clouds silent and unmoving, not even an uneasy churning in the sky to give change to his surroundings. The clouds were staying to protect the prey, to blanket the world in foot after foot of heavy snow.

Atohi shuddered, the cold was unbearable. He let loose his charka and unleashed fiery wings from his back. They wrapped around him, giving him heat, and more importantly, company. “I will always be here to protect you, you have proven yourself to be a defender of our spiritual world and so we will protect you here in the world of mortality.”

“Just let me die, I’ve been here too long.” Atohi spoke into the night, he was speaking to the beast inside of himself so he needed not speak aloud, but did anyway to differentiate his voice from the voice in his head. That was what separated him from the beast within him.

“The snow isn’t that bad, is it?” The voice was but a whisper of a thought, but it was soft and soothing, a woman’s voice.

“You’re just saying that because it’s warm all cooped up inside my soul.” Atohi shuddered again, but not from the cold.

“I am not trapped within you, I chose you to be my host. You have been given gifts that most could never dream of, it’s only natural that you have some responsibilities. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, nothing is free.”

“By the way, I wasn’t talking about the cold. I want to die because my body has seen too many suns and too many moons. My body doesn’t show how many seasons I’ve seen, I haven’t changed since…” He shuddered again.

“I’m sorry…you hate me.”

“No, I have pledged my life to you by choice. I am no fool, I know our work here is necessary.”

“I love you.”

“Please don’t… it hurt’s too much.”

It became once again silent, but now Atohi allowed himself to enjoy it.

[DarkFire]

ALRIGHT ANOTHER UPDATE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!My cousin's readin it right now!!!!!!!!!!!YEAH YEAH YEAH MORE MORE MORE(and ps naruhina update?)TOOOOOO EXCITED TO THINK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Triggerhappy69]

Dude, this is some pretty HOT and interesting shit. You've got a talent for romance my friend and could easily be a romance novelist.........okay, I'm gettin a little girlie here.....so uh, *ahem*, later.

[Brant Kogasu]

Nothing girly about love. If it were, I'd have to be girly to have written it, and I'm a man damnit. Anyway, more naru hina soon, but the story has no substance without all of the other stuff.

[Triggerhappy69]

Well I don't mean to be an ass cuz I know you have a life but, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT QUICK!!!!!! You've got me hooked on this shit like a drug addict, *taps arm vein*, MUST....HAVE....MORE....STORY!!!!

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

Well I don't mean to be an ass cuz I know you have a life but, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT QUICK!!!!!! You've got me hooked on this shit like a drug addict, *taps arm vein*, MUST....HAVE....MORE....STORY!!!!Ok the men in the white jacket will to pick you up and put you in the paded room.Anyways awesome chapter.

[DarkFire]

Well I don't mean to be an ass cuz I know you have a life but, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT QUICK!!!!!! You've got me hooked on this shit like a drug addict, *taps arm vein*, MUST....HAVE....MORE....STORY!!!!

lol yeha me too must have more fanfic gets a needle and turns to a zombie saying must eat NaruHina Fanfic

[hinata&naruto_or_else]

I think this story is my favourite so far. I never really thought about Naruto couplings until I read this, then I registered with the forum <see name>. I cannot wait for the next installment, though you take as long as you need with it. An artist should bever be rushed.

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

Its the NaruHina drug once you read you want to keep reading

[Crimson_Eyes]

Dude!!I have sat here and read that story, now i want more!!It has such a great storyline, and good details.I LOVE IT!!<3<3<3

[summon123]

nice not bad

[DarkFire]

WHADDYA MEAN ITS NOT BAD ITS FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!!!GREAT FANTASTIC FABABLOUS MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Triggerhappy69]

WHADDYA MEAN ITS NOT BAD ITS FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!!!GREAT FANTASTIC FABABLOUS MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goin through withdrawal man? Same here. I'm just glad I found this a couple a days ago, cuz if I woulda found this when it first began I woulda gone crazy.

[Azure-kun]

this is the hottest shit I've read since Itachi & kureni. . .FUCK SAKES IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but seriously Brant, well done...I do hope this isn't the end of the fic, it would be such a terrible waste =(

[Brant Kogasu]

not done yet my friends. I have had a busy last few days and as an apology, I shall betow upon you a super update. Which means as much as I can write before I have to go to work. Naruto scanned the surrounding darkness. His ears had found a new level of clarity since he began his fight in the pitch black caves. He heard the smallest movement to his right and jumped out of the way just as his opponent struck. Then a kick flew directly at his face. He blocked what he could not see, his ears were beginning to see through the darkness, or he was extremely lucky.

“There is no darkness that equal to this in the entire world, unless you are on the bottom of the ocean floor. This is perfect training for any ninja.” Naruto spoke aloud and mocked the words of his first Hokage. He was reading one of the training scrolls in the library that spoke of the true intention of a paradise hidden deep within a cave. ‘It is pivotal for a ninja to trust in any and all of his senses, and to realize that sometimes he may not be able to trust in any of them.’ After that enlightening but confusing quote, the scroll gave instructions for an ancient training method for the ears. It required a perfect dark, just like this.

If it weren’t for the training he had done, he would have been beaten by now. But he also wouldn’t have been in the cave and gotten into this fight in the first place. What a cruel ironic game fate played.

Naruto heard the sound of a hand flying through the air and moved his head to the side, barely dodging a crushing blow. He tapped the wall with his fist, as was taught in the training. And waited for the sharp sound of his strike to bounce back from the walls of the cave. Then he saw perfectly.

He jumped towards the wall to his right, his opponent jumped with him. He touched his hand to a stalactite and let his chakra flow from his hand and attach himself to the stone. It was a much more dense material than wood, which he was used to clinging to with his chakra, but he still managed to use the stone to spin himself around at his opponent.

Another sharp tap to the wall and he realized he was flying towards air, his retaliation was in vein. But he was still a step ahead. He landed on the floor of the cave and spun with a great enough velocity to block a kick aimed at his head. But his defence was his downfall. He slipped on the wet ground and fell to his back.

“I won.”

“But it’s not fair, you have those eyes.” Naruto rolled over. He was getting better, and this was only the first of many training exercises the library had to offer. “If you didn’t have your eyes I would have won.”

There was a silence through the darkness, but with a sharp tap of his fist to the floor, he saw Hinata smiling. “You’re getting much better Naruto-kun.” She held out her hand to help him up, he smiled too. After their kiss, everything became less awkward between the two of them. She was losing the habit of stumbling over her words, she turned red of a much less frequent basis, and best of all, he was falling for her more and more.

“Hinata, can you make that sushi like you made a few days ago? I’m starving!” With that he lit a torch and traveled with her back towards the secret room.

It had been about a month since they stumbled across the cave. They had become so accustomed to each other that he started to feel weird when they weren’t in the same room all of the time. He smiled, but then frowned at a thought. Sakura was still in the village, he just gave up the girl he had obsessed over for all of these years.

The dim light from the secret room began filling his eyes, he looked at Hinata. She had a new confidence that was delightful about her. She no longer looked at the floor when she spoke, she no longer had difficulties saying what she wanted to say. She was happy, so was he. He found someone he truly cared for, maybe he…loved. His stomach was churning with butterflies, maybe he was in love.

He had never felt this way about Sakura, he just wanted to. She seemed so perfect to him in his youth, the good student with friends and above all, a family. He watched her go home to a house where people cared about her, then he’d go his house and be alone in the silence. He envied her, and soon his envy turned to lust. But it was never really her that he wanted, but what she represented to him.

But Hinata was different. When he saw her he wasn’t thinking of the family he never had, he thought about how beautifully the light bounced off of her raven dark hair. And when she stared at him he didn’t see pity or anger in her eyes, he saw love. He didn’t need to become Hokage for her, he was already the most important ninja in her world.

He was beaming with joy, he had found love, and it was returned to him in full force. He put his hand on her shoulder, she turned to him and stared into his eyes. He pulled her into himself and kissed her.

Her muscles relaxed an she let her weight fall into him. He held her tight into himself, letting the warmth of her body against his fill him with ecstasy. He let the kiss continue until her breathing became thick with passion. She softly moaned with her breathing, each sweet moan ignited him with delight. He kissed her neck and the moans became louder.

As he kissed lower down he neck, she slowly moved to take off her jacket, then threw it to the floor. He reached his hand down her back, felt the bottom of her shirt, then moved his hand through the cloth as he slowly and softly touched her up her spine. Her skin was silk under his fingertips, and as he allowed his hand to explore more of her skin she pushed herself closer into him.

He kissed all of the way down her neck until it met her shoulder and was moving onto her collar bone. Then, he took a step back. She was breathing hard and her eyes were half closed. She was alive with passion, and his fast beating heart told him he returned the emotion.

She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him towards her aggressively, her infatuation causing her to forget her inhibitions. “Naruto-kun, I want another bath.”

[Triggerhappy69]

BOW CHICKA BOW BOW. Man, that one was even steamier than the hot spring sequence. Can't wait for more man, you're the best.

[LenKun]

DUDE, I got to this post today, and I am hooked, someone needs to tell me how to rep some on, god I hate reading, and naruto has got me to read everything, but this is a whole differnt story, I love it, I LOVE IT :Lmwflaml;dfmasl;fmdpl'asmfdl/mas;lfdm;lsamfd;asmfd ma

Brant you are my hero :D

[DarkFire]

CRUD THIS IS HOT SHIT CAN'T FREAKIN WAIT FOR THE NEXT BATH,AWWWW MAN I'M FREAKIN GETTIN HOT WTF IS HAPPENING MUST HAVE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!

[Triggerhappy69]

Y'know, ever since I read this story, whenever I see Hinata or Naruto, that hot-spring scene always pops up in my head.

[Azure-kun]

not done yet my friends. I have had a busy last few days and as an apology, I shall betow upon you a super update. Which means as much as I can write before I have to go to work.

wow. . .big one here. . .Lol I'm quoting "naruto. . .I wanna take another bath" for truth XD *rep point no jutsu*:laugh

[Brant Kogasu]

I'm gonna have to figure out a way to go with this, I have pushed myself into a very difficult possition with the new... ahem, romance scenes, and I am having a difficult time thinking of what to write next. Got a gew ideas, but last night when I posted (Actually this morning from 4:00ish to about 6:00) I didn't sleep, then had a 7 hour shift this morning and a family get together after work. Maybe the ideas will start coming to me when I catch up on my sleep.

As always, I'm soo happy with your responses. There's not enough rep to go around for the support you guys give me and the attention you give to my story, so I just go until the site stops me from repping. You guys are awesome, keep on reading and posting and this story will last for a long, LONG time.

[Triggerhappy69]

You guys are awesome, keep on reading and posting and this story will last for a long, LONG time.

Y'know, that pisses me off yet makes me so happy at the same time. I just hope you can come up with some good ideas for the actual story. I already know you can nail the "romance" parts though, cuz every time I read those parts my blood startsa pumpin.......ok, that was gross, I'm gonna shut up now.

[Huh?]

Wow dude this is one of the best fanfics i hav ever read!!! i jus had to join dis forum so i could tell ya. keep up da good work

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

AWESOME!!!!!make more plz!!!(sits on the computer waiting for the next chapter)

[narutofan251]

nice fanfic

[Sparky Marky]

wow, this is reall good!!! very well written... iv just read it all (my first fanfic) and if any of the other stories on here are as good il be in for a treat!!!
i do wish there was someone around to illustrate this tho ;-) hehehe

[DarkFire]

umm wht kind of scene would u get for pictures(starts thinknig naruto+hinata sleeping together?) Oh well can't wait for next update really good stuff Right on Brant!

[Brant Kogasu]

There are several names from actual chinese lore that I am about to introduce. Well, maybe I'll only give away one in this update. Zhu-Que is the name of the vermillion bird of the south, one of the guardians of the earth. There is one for each direction, thus the legendary four. I did my research for this one guys, I've been waiting to unveil the connection to actual mythology for a while and am relieved to have finally done so.

By the way, if you didn't know, the naruto world is based on a lot of japanese mythology itself. The demons, the "great Naruto bridge" I even have some speculations about the rasengan if you want to hear them. But anyway, I felt that if I truly wanted to make my story fit the design of Naruto, I'd have to introduce a myth and weave it in to the story. This story is only getting started, I have the intent to make this into a very proud piece of literature, wheter themed on a cartoon or not. Plus, I hope to use this as a stepping stone to help me learn good writing style and eventually write novels. If I ever do you guys would have to remember me and read my stuff, I'll keep in touch through this.

But enough mindless rambling, on to the show...

The room was quiet and dark, nightime had been settling earlier every day as the solstice drew ever nearer. Atohi enjoyed the peace of the darkness, watched as beams of moonlight fell onto the barren floor of his room, huddled into a blanket allowing only his face to feel the slight tingle from the cold air that wandered from the slightly open window. This place was eerie, the whole house had been abandoned despite the utter beauty of the home itself. If it had not been the cold that drove the prior owners out, it was the loneliness of being miles away from any human voice.

But Atohi didn’t care for the simple pleasure of human contact anymore, he had found solace in isolation. Plus, he was never alone with his beloved Zhu Que only a thought away. She was the reason he had grown accustom to the quiet, the reason he was here now, in fact, she was the catalyst for almost every event in his life. He respected his role in his own destiny, but never loved the fact that his life was not his own, he was a slave by birthright. The greatest of honors but the worst of curses, his whole life was so ironic.

“Que-sama, I have served you for the better half of a century. What is the grand scheme? Why is it that we keep doing small things to change the destiny of the world, but still have yet to see the end of our struggle.”

“Ours is a life of sacrifice and perseverance. There is no end in sight because there is no end. It is up to the brave few to face eternity for the good of the many, you and your ‘brothers’ will never be recognized, even though you have actually saved more people than most could meet in a lifetime. Be humble my warrior.”

“I am humble, I care not for recognition, just happiness.”

“I’m working on that too, my love.”

Atohi stood up and looked into the night. He understood what the boy he was chasing felt. Not everyone could understand the pressure of carrying such a powerful being inside of themselves. The Jinchuuriki had a lot in common with the four, a power that they could never fathom at their fingertips and the difficult task of finding a niche to fit in to remain human even though they were so much more.

He was watching as the large snowflakes fell outside, adding to the feet that had already accumulated on the ground. One flake, larger than the others, drifted in and landed on the floor. Atohi watched it, waited for it to melt, but it never did. “I know you’re out there Yasuo.”

“Come on, call me Yasu, my real name makes me feel old.” He looked as young as Atohi even though he was older by several hundred years, he was trapped in time just like his fiery eyed ally. His jet black hair was cut fairly short, barely covering the tips of his ears, and was unkempt but not enough to look disgusting, just enough to give the impression that Yasuo was as wild as an animal, despite his peaceful and noble appearance. He wore the traditional attire of a noble, except it was made of a thicker and rougher material that was usually used in clothing intended for combat, it was mostly black and where it wasn’t it was composed of dark shades of grey. The only thing about him that wasn’t dark were his ice blue eyes. They were kind and gentle, but they still gave the impression that they could turn a man’s resolve to dust if he happened to be angry.

“You are old, maybe you need to start acting like it.” Atohi looked at Yasuo and smiled, it was really good to see his companion on this lonely night, maybe Atohi wasn’t as anti-social as he thought he was.

“As long as I still look as handsome as I do, I don’t want to think for a moment that I’m old. If I acted as old as I am I would be doing nothing but lying in a coffin somewhere, I hear that’s what all the seven hundred fifteen years olds are doing nowadays.” Atohi laughed, but the joke really did hurt deep down, every one he knew from his life before joining the four was dead.

“Come in from the cold my friend, I’ll heat up some tea.”

“No need, I’m just stopping by to deliver some information that you may find useful. The barrier has been breached, those with Konoha souls have found their haven. But if I were you I’d give them some time, we are not on a tight schedule and from the looks of the footprints, the male Jinchuuriki was rescued by a female ninja.” He winked at Atohi, “I know its been a while but you were that young once, if you were alone with a woman back then you’d want someone to do the same for you.”

And without further notice, a whirlwind of snow surrounded Yasuo and he disappeared into the night. It was just like him to leave in such a spur of the moment fashion. He really was as wild as his appearance. But his words held value, there was no rush. Those kids were finally experiencing a world without the influence of anyone else. If someone were to take that kind of freedom away from Atohi he would fight tooth and nail. Of course he’d have to ruin the fun sometime, but he might as well let them enjoy it while they could.

He looked down at the snowflake, it still hadn’t melted. There must be a secret meaning behind this, perhaps a message that Yasuo could not speak aloud. But now was not the time to decipher the codes of an insane old man, Atohi wanted to sleep.

“Atohi, let me hold you while you go to sleep.” Atohi nodded and wings of red and orange enveloped him. As his eyes closed and he began listening to the sweet melody of sleep, Zhu Que whispered softly to him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” They were the words that he refused to let himself say to her, he meant them with all of his heart and without his consciousness filtering his words, his heart was allowed to speak without reservation.

“I will find a way for us to express our love, even if it means…” She left the thought unfinished, Atohi was fast asleep.

[LenKun]

Well, at first I was kind of confused but the Atohi story line, but now that I read this is tied it up for me in a nice way, you really need to finish this lol, I am getting addicted. I came on today and I was like AHHHAHAHAHA New chapter

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

Must have MORE!!!!!!I love this fanfic

[Triggerhappy69]

Hmmmm, very interesting. I'm actually curious as to what "The 4s" story is all about now.

[DarkFire]

YEAH YEAH YEAH the story is coming together yeah yeah right on Brant keep the addicting stuff coming!

[Crimson_Eyes]

Wow, everyday i'm thinking, i want to read more of that Fanfic, but i was at my dads and i'm just like, "NOOOOOO!" need, internet,*Teardrop* The story is great!it's highly addicting, i think i may be the best fanfic i have ever read in my life.=D

[Brant Kogasu]

Hey guys, I'll post again soon, but until then check this out.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/BrantCinerate/Naruto317_08copy.jpg

I made this for Naruto674 for an avatar. If anyone likes it, I'll do one for you, just send me a black and white version of the manga and I'll do what I can. By the way, if there is a certain color scheme you'd like or lighting effect, let me know and I'll be as accomodating as I can.

[Crimson_Eyes]

thats a cool drawing.Naruto looks freaked out, lol.

[Triggerhappy69]

thats a cool drawing.Naruto looks freaked out, lol.

I don't think that's a drawing. I think that's just a coloring of when Naruto was makin fun of Sai. But if it is a drawing then dude, you might as well be Kishimoto yourself.

[chanticl33r]

Anything NaruHina is good in my book.

[DarkFire]

It looks like naruto is surpised or sumthing just a thought

[Triggerhappy69]

Sooooo, Brant, in your next post......are we gonna get to read about Naruto and Hinata's next "bath"?

[DarkFire]

can't wait until the next "bath"!!!OMFG its gonna get hot!

[Hokuikai]

This first chapter is soo cute!! It even seems to be in character quite a bit! More than that! Great fic so far, I'll check back anothertime. :)

[Triggerhappy69]

Wow, u like It? Judging from your avatar, you seem to be a Hinata/Kiba fan.

[Hokuikai]

I just thought the picture was cute. :p But I adore hinata/Naruto, I wouldn't mind Hinata/Kiba either though. ^_^ :P heh

[Hokuikai]

ah the story so far, chapter 2, is so wonderfully in character! It's like I'm watching another episode of Naruto!!!! *_* It makes me happyyyy :P So anyways, CHAPTER 3!!!!!! WOOSH! -off to read- see you! ^_^

[Dragen]

Dude the storys freaking awesome its one of the better ones that ive read.

[DarkFire]

1.dun duble post ppl hate that is ok if its ur first time but dun duble post

2.can't wait for next chapter

3.brant i think u should make a sig to advertise ur legenday fanfic

BTW:its my birthday(i just wanted to say that!)

[Triggerhappy69]

1.dun duble post ppl hate that is ok if its ur first time but dun duble post

2.can't wait for next chapter

3.brant i think u should make a sig to advertise ur legenday fanfic

BTW:its my birthday(i just wanted to say that!)

Alright, the big 1-8. Congrats man, you can get into strip clubs now.........well atleast where I live u can.

[DarkFire]

naw dun need strip clubs i got my girlfriend *yawn* umm goonna get some "sleep"

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

1.dun duble post ppl hate that is ok if its ur first time but dun duble post

2.can't wait for next chapter

3.brant i think u should make a sig to advertise ur legenday fanfic

BTW:its my birthday(i just wanted to say that!)Happy Barf-day I mean birth-day.Need next chapter!!!!!!!

[Crimson_Eyes]

bleg, wanting more!!!<3 such a great fanfic

[Hokuikai]

WAA??? I've reached the latest update already?!?!!? Man that bites. hey, this is a really awesome fic so far. It's been a while since I've seen something written so well and feels like it was written with a bit of passion. This story really is beautiful so far and I really hope you continue soon. if not, I have you under my favorites -wink-. Oh, and quick question: Do you have this story posted on another site like maybe fanfiction.net? If so, could you post the story in the fanclub I'm in? The Fanfiction Addicts FC (The banner of couples in my siggy). I think they might like it. If not, I'll just link them to ya. Is that okay? ^_^ Because this story is really really great.

Keep up the good work.
Munch Love,
Hokuikai

[Brant Kogasu]

thank you so much, I would love it if you linked my fic to the fanfics FC. I don't update my ff.net account anymore, but I'd love to condense the stroy for you and the club and email it to anyone who wants to read it. By the way, sorry I've been gone for a while, I've had a REALLY busy last few days, lots of three hour driving shifts and stuff. Blegh!

Since I feel so bad, I'm going to try to update soon, but if I don't please don't murder me, I haven't slept much in days.

[LenKun]

I am going on vacation so in like 1 week, I expect updates lol :D

[Hokuikai]

no problem. I can imagine. My boyfriend works too but he has night shifts and so...well like i said i can imagine. and thanks. I'll link them here. -meditating pose- I shall be waiting, patiently

[Hokuikai]

thank you for the rep points :D

[Crimson_Eyes]

yes, writing a fanfic is tireing, sometimes u just don't have the time or just don't feel well, and there are many ways that cause a delay in updates!So just take ur time...well, not to long like a year.lol.Hope u get some sleep.

[Hokuikai]

Agreed!!! :D Sleep like a little baby and dream muahahahaha! lol j/k. But really, I think sleep is necessary, ne? :) Hugs all around. because I'm bored.

[Brant Kogasu]

Sorry guys, I am not sure how great this update is. I'm tired and probably should be asleep but I love writing and it has bugged me not being able to continue. I go into detail about the cave, a necessary action. Ha, and you thought I was creating a world without thinking first of it's origins. There is more to the hot springs than a place to experience love by the way, but I will have to show you in a later update. I don't think the story is ready for that yet.

Well, here it is:

The stars began to twinkle into exsistance, it was something that happened every night but never failed to amaze her. The bright fiery globe in the center of the ceiling turned dark for a moment, then started to glow with the same muted light of the moon. The stars seemed too real to be made by her village’s founders, but she knew they had to look real to fulfill their purpose.

The whole ceiling of the cave was still rock. During the time when the globe burned like the sun, the rock was easy to see and it was obvious that they were underground. When the “sun” dimmed and the “moon” appeared, the same was going on outside of the cave. They developed the device so that they didn’t lose track of time when they were so disconnected from the outside world. In fact, the stars were set up for the same purpose, seeing what stars were shown on the ceiling, they could see what season it was outside.

The entire cave was actually somewhat of a miracle. It used to be the home of the Kyuubi himself, Kyuubi had the ability to produce an unlimited supply of charka. The amazing thing about the cave was that the first and second Hokage cultivated the negative charka of the demon into a life giving energy. It was what powered the jutsu to supply both the moon and sun, the stars in the sky, the heat of the hot springs and even the energy supply for the trees.

It was all in the diary, how they had stumbled across the cave when they were tracking the Kyuubi when it threatened Konoha’s survival. It was originally unbearably dark, not only the lack of light but the pure evil of the charka itself. The Kyuubi had already abandoned the cave, so the Hokage turned it into something useful. It began as a training ground for the promising Sarutobi. Then, as they completed the training room, the second Hokage used his water techniques to rapidly wear down a maze of caves leading to the room while still making the cave appear natural and therefore keep their secret hidden.

She and Naruto were inside one of the best kept secrets of their village’s history. It was no longer the cave of the Kyuubi, but a paradise. She never wanted to leave.

Hinata stared up from the mist. It was so peaceful, staring up into the stars from the bath was so perfect. She looked at Naruto, he had a grin from one ear to the next, he probably wasn’t thinking about the cave’s history, but the… activity that they had just participated in. She was so relaxed, it was as if she released all of her energy and tension in one giant burst of passion and now she was empty, but so content.

“I love you Hinata.” He noticed her looking at him. “I love you more than anything, even ramen.” He smiled at her, she chuckled at his comically crude reference to noodle soup. It was so like him though.

“I love you too.” She was past shyness, perhaps it was her new level of comfort with him because of their recent excess of free time, or perhaps she had no inhibitions because she thought it had to be a dream.

“I still want to become Hokage, but even more than that, I want you beside me when I get there. I hope this never ends, but I know it has to eventually. But when it does I want you to promise you’ll never leave me.” His words were strong, it wasn’t like him to be so serious. Maybe that strength would give him his dream, maybe that hidden strength had been fueling him all along.

With a new found respect, and a little left over lust, she stared into his eyes. “I promise.”

[Crimson_Eyes]

*gasp*Soo, adorble!!Ah, if only i could find a boy like that around where i live.*sigh*stupid reality

[Brant Kogasu]

are you talking about naruto? I am actually kind of pissed at myself for my portrayal of Naruto. I have strayed to far from his character, too far from Hinata too. some of the things I have them say are not what they'd really say, but what I imagine. Oh well, if you guys like it anyway I won't change my writing style, I like the way things are going even despite that.

[Kezz]

oh wow!....:nuts
awsome ff brant. the quality of the story is excellent and even if naruto and hinata wouldnt really say those things, it is fiction and its your story and i for one really enjoy reading it. plz keep it coming

[Ramentastic]

Hey, I just finished the latest chapter of your fanfic and I have to say that It's one of the BEST!!!! FANFICs!!!! EVER!!!! Seriously. Your a genuine writer. keep up the good work man.

[Leonhart_Strife]

Man that awsome I don't care if thats what they wouldn,t acually say its still KICKASS

[Kirakiraku]

NaruHina???? :nuts

I'mma going to read it now :D

[Crimson_Eyes]

are you talking about naruto? I am actually kind of pissed at myself for my portrayal of Naruto. I have strayed to far from his character, too far from Hinata too. some of the things I have them say are not what they'd really say, but what I imagine. Oh well, if you guys like it anyway I won't change my writing style, I like the way things are going even despite that.

Well, it is a fanfic, its your story, and to me i don't think you strayed to far from there personalities.I think you are doing a great job.

[Triggerhappy69]

Good update, but uh, did Naruto get laid or not?

[Vanguard89]

Well...

I must say, you have quite the talent with that imagination of yours. This story is absolutely wonderful. Very interesting read.

are you talking about naruto? I am actually kind of pissed at myself for my portrayal of Naruto. I have strayed to far from his character, too far from Hinata too. some of the things I have them say are not what they'd really say, but what I imagine. Oh well, if you guys like it anyway I won't change my writing style, I like the way things are going even despite that.

To that I have this to say. There is always the side of a character that we never truly get to see. I honestly think you have found a great ground for establishing a whole new side of Naruto, as well as Hinata-sama.

If it were me who was writing this, and gotten this much praise, I would send this to Kishi himself and have him take a look at it. Who knows? It could end up as a filler arc when another timeskip occurs?

On the whole, wonderful job with it.

[Vanguard89]

Good update, but uh, did Naruto get laid or not?

I think he did...

[Just Another human]

Omg i love it! Update update! haha

[Aricx]

wow this is a real good fic!! props

[Sparky Marky]

i like it alot! ur in my favourites and i keep coming back to check for updates :lol

[Vanguard89]

Yes, continue to write. The masses have spoken, and they want more of the romance of NaruHina!

W007!

[Hokuikai]

WAHAHAHAHA!!!! This chapter, of course, was nicely written!!! I'll check back for more later. see you!

[neko-sennin]

Sorry it's been so long. The past week-and-a-half has been one big logistical nightmare of out-of-town guests, packing, work.. Last night was the first time I've gotten more than four or five hours of sleep in one day, so I'm finally rested enough to catch up on stuff.

Awesome story, Brant. Though you talk about being "out of character" this is very much how I imagined Naruto and Hinata would be if they were left alone together. Though with some of the revelations and near-revelations here, I suppose I'll actually have to start reading Part II of the manga soon. (I've only read as far as KG, but seeing as how long the fillers have dragged on, I've meant to start reading Part II for some time now.

I haven't ever seen Ai Yori Aoshi. I've heard of it though. This hot spring idea, though a tad overused in the anime world, is 100% me. I based it on the many (embarassing) hot spring moments in Naruto itself. But the way I would have liked them to go.

Yeah, I'll admit. Still, as I said before, I wasn't accusing you of plagiarizing anything, I was just complimenting you on how you captured a similar vibe to Ai Yori Aoshi. I strongly reccomend reading it sometime; based on your writing style in this story, I think you'd really enjoy it.

Keep up the good work. Not only is this one of the few fanfics I've read that hasn't disappointed me, this is the only ff I've read that I honestly can't wait for the next chapter of.

[seijiro03]

ZOMG YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!!! Reps Reps Reps for you man!!! this is some really awesome stuff. I really hope you can make this last for a while.

[Triggerhappy69]

I just thought of the perfect theme song for this story:

"I Want You" by Third Eye Blind.

Then again, any song could go with this story, but every time I listen to that song specifically, this story always pops up in my mind.

[Vanguard89]

I just thought of the perfect theme song for this story:

"I Want You" by Third Eye Blind.

Then again, any song could go with this story, but every time I listen to that song specifically, this story always pops up in my mind.

Ha ha, I couldn't have said it better myself...

Now they'll have to make this a filler arc!

[DarkFire]

Sry guys i have a roadtrip and i could'ne update well i'm still in it using hotel internet man awesome brant for the updates and the chapter is awesome keep it up!!!!!Oh yeah and it might be hard for me to post a comment but belive me i'm not gonna stop checking!!!

[Brant Kogasu]

wow, I hope they make me the official filler writer. You guys wouldn't have to put up with lame overused potty humor and little to no and sometimes even negative character development. I am almost to the point where I think the series is to far gone to be redeemed, but my love of the Naruto world and the unique cast have kept my obsession strong, even through this the hardest of all times. We will look back on the fillers and shudder, for what they have done cannot be taken back, the episodes cannot be un-watched.

Well, needless to say, I've been super busy lately. Runnin' them 12 hour shifts down at the carwash wears me out, I tell you what. I can't wait to get a new job, and to go to college.

So, honestly, do you think Kishi himself would enjoy this story. If he knows english I'd love to send it to him. If he put my story into his I would be honored for at least the rest of this lifetime. But that is every nerd's dream I guess. Well, enough with the boring talk.

And, don't worry, I am not going to leave you high and dry any longer. At last, the moment you've all been waiting for: Um... my Naru Hina fan fiction, part:I lost count. Here it comes...I'm super serious...

(And by the way, Itachifire, this one goes out to you and the birthday that I missed. Happy belated birthday my friend!)

Atohi held the yet solid snowflake up to the sun, light poured through it making a rainbow on the mushy white snow below. It was a part of Yasuo-san’s hidden message, there was a hint somewhere inside the infinitely complex pattern, but Atohi couldn’t find it for the life of him. “Why are you just staring at the snowflake, you’ve been at it for so long even the woodland animals are giving you weird looks.”

“Que-sama, I seem to remember you scolding me recently about patience, maybe you should re-learn the lesson yourself.”

“You must not remember what I said, ‘Ours is a life of sacrifice and perseverance,’ that doesn’t have anything to do with idling around staring into a snowflake when you’re on a mission.”

“That’s the thing, I’m not exactly sure why I’m chasing the boy. Our leader was not specific when he said capturing him is for protection. Who exactly are we protecting, maybe I should be patient for a while longer to see how our boss’s plot thickens.” The secret to his question was here, inside the snow that his good friend gave him. He would wait until the answer came to him, unless he could get some help. Maybe it was time to pay an old friend a visit.

Atohi stuffed the snowflake into his pocket. “I think it’s time we stretch our wings a bit.”

“I’ve been waiting for this for too long, if you keep making me wait I might just leave you.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Atohi smiled.

“You’d better be kidding. Hey, answer me, were you kidding? HEY!”

* * *

Tsunade was trying not to think about the report that Shino had given her, it was unnerving that she had to lie to her village about the two missing ninja, but it was a delicate situation. Her experience with the legendary four was that everything worked out better than she could have imagined the situation going. And if she told her village about it, she might get into a war with the gods, a foolish fate.

“Yes, an A-class mission. They are to know about the details and you were just the escort to make sure nothing happened along the way.” She had told Shino the lie immediately upon return with his dire news. He was a good ninja, he didn’t question a word or even raise an eyebrow at the oddity that was her explanation, but she had a feeling that he knew more about what was going on the she gave him credit for.

What stress this position was, she should have never agreed to it. She poured herself a cup of sake, and drank it slow. The fire of the alcohol burned on the way down, she enjoyed every second of it.

“Drinking on the job. come on, I had much higher expectations from you.” There he stood, the forgotten hokage. His eyes burned just like they had when he had visited her in her youth, when she had fallen into a sad and one-sided infatuation with him such a long time ago.

“What have you done with them?” She spoke as quietly as her anger would allow, but her words still had the whisper of poisonous rage behind them. Even a warrior of his caliber had reason to fear her rage.

“Actually, nothing. Have some pride in your ninja, the eluded us before even I had the chance to understand our motives. They were trained right, as to be expected of Konoha ninja.”

“If you don’t have them then something even more sinister than your ‘justice’ may have already gotten them. I have to send a search party right away.” She almost got out of her seat, but he was behind her holding her down.

“That will not be necessary, I have the matter under control. They will not come to any harm from anyone while their under my wing, even if I have to fight back my comrades. But I came here for another reason and I hate to cut to the chase, but I’m afraid I need to be on my way. I need you to split this open with your chakra.” He put a gorgeous snowflake on her desk, the light bounced off of it as if it were a diamond. It was cold as ice even after touching his fiery hands and yet there was not a single part of it that had thawed.

“It doesn’t seem like I have a choice, but I have your word that you are protecting my subordinates?”

“You have my word as a gentleman.” She felt no less uneasy, but still put her hand over the snowflake. She poured her chakra out for a while, letting the precise strand of energy touch the surface of the ice. Her eyes were closed in concentraion, a soft glow coming out from underneath her hand. Then she suddenly shot her eyes open. “What is it?” He asked, half excited for and half afraid of the answer.

“I think it’s… alive.” He sighed in dissapointment. Why now, why when he already had so much on his plate. As always, the life of a holy warrior was one of difficulties. “I felt… a heartbeat!”

“That was what I was afraid of.”

[Hokuikai]

wow wow wow!!!!! This was definately awesome! I feel like I'm watching the show again lol. Yes, i agree, I think that you were straying from Naruto and Hinata's traits from the show. Then again, you could still keep it. It's Hinata's personality that I think would be the most acceptable one. Either way, you've portrayed, as you said, them pretty nicely sodon't worry about that. That's the only part though that made me not feel like i waswatching the show but then again hey! they don't show steamy lust! lol

ok, good chapter. read you later!

[Vanguard89]

Very Nice... This is coming along quite nicely... I wish to see what happens next...

[Triggerhappy69]

Okay, that was a trippy entry. I liked it though because it's actually interesting.

[Digital kisses]

Whaaat? I wanted that to go on forever! How often do you update? Gah! Dude, update!

[Brant Kogasu]

sorry, I have a busy life... I'll do my best to get to it soon but this is just a side project. I origionally made this to improve my writing abilities and because I was sick of reading fan fics that didn't go my way. So, I made my own, and it definitely goes my way.

I am trying to get into college, and worse, to find a way to pay for it. I actually was going to go today and see if I can apply at the Home Depot 'cause I hear they have good scholaraships for college. But I have too much on my plate for daily updates, I wish I did and I understand where you guys are coming from, but I don't want to wear myself out.

[Crimson_Eyes]

yep, yet another great update.A great fanfic this is.hehe, i sound like yoda....yes?

[Dark Seige]

Nice Update.... Crimson, yes u sorta do sound like Yoda

[Just Another human]

love it =) update!

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

100000000/10
AWESOME!!!!
Plz write when you have the chance

[Triggerhappy69]

sorry, I have a busy life... I'll do my best to get to it soon but this is just a side project. I origionally made this to improve my writing abilities and because I was sick of reading fan fics that didn't go my way. So, I made my own, and it definitely goes my way.

I am trying to get into college, and worse, to find a way to pay for it. I actually was going to go today and see if I can apply at the Home Depot 'cause I hear they have good scholaraships for college. But I have too much on my plate for daily updates, I wish I did and I understand where you guys are coming from, but I don't want to wear myself out.

Ah for god's sake, stop appologizing. You have a life man, and we all get it. So live it and update whenever you have the time. Hope you find a good college and can afford it, later.

[seijiro03]

Dude... I need to give you reps but i'm maxed out!!!

You will get reps when I can rep you again!

[PsyBomb]

Well, I leave for a month and come back to this fine fic in progress. Superior work, my compliments. Now, to get this out on top of the topic swarm that one guy put out...

There, done :)

[Hokuikai]

delete delete delete wrong place! :p sorry

[seijiro03]

You have inspired me to write, but it's not the nice non-adult way you have come up with. I have managed to post one in the bath house if you want to read it.

Link is: http://forums.narutofan.com/showthread.php?t=128991

I have a few typos, but I hope that's ok. If you aren't into hentai/reading sexually explicit material then DO NOT click on that link. If you are, get ready for something that at least some people thought was good.

[Losila']

I love this Fan fic. I used to write some but i stopped. You did stray abit form there characters but that is a good thing. For love affects us all in different ways. I see it as not straying but showing how this situation has changed them. Yay this is my first post! Im dying to see the new update when you get it out. smile-big

[Corlock]

Yeah, this fic is awesome. Give me more now. As to straying from Naruto and Hinata's character traits, don't worry about it. Although they've strayed from their character traits, as extablished in the source material, they have strayed because of the events of the story and for logical reasons. So it's all good in the hood.

[Brant Kogasu]

Ok, I just wat to start out with this, but if you have not read the manga please do not allow yourself the disservice of reading it...I was doing the nature manipulation thing before it came out in the manga. If you don't believe me re-read chapter two. I just don't want you to think I'm just following the trends of the manga, I have put a great deal of thought into this storyline.

Well, with that aside, this update was difficult to bring you. I was finished with it when, all of a sudden, word froze and closed before I had saved. But I know that the show must go on and because you guys are such supportive fans, I re-wrote the whole thing. There are some things I added when I wrote the new copy and unfortunately some things I forgot from the old. But I think it's a pretty good update anyway.

Enjoy...

Hinata huddled closer to Naruto underneath the blankets. Even despite the hot springs and the fiery fake sun, the natural tendency of a cave was to be damp and cold, she could even see her breath most of the time. But to her the cold was just a great excuse to get closer to Naruto.

She thought about their recent actions… a blush appeared on her cheeks. She didn’t know that she was filled with such passion. The things that they had done in the bath were things she didn’t even know she knew, it was probably her natural human instinct, or perhaps the countless dreams shed had of Naruto had given her a sexual imagination. What ever the case, her heart was beating faster just thinking of it.

She had not yet allowed herself to be deflowered however. She would have, but Naruto seemed a bit nervous. He was incredibly skillful, she moaned in ways that would make the wind jealous, but he seemed a bit shaky and unsure of himself. She knew that the moment would come when they’d be comfortable with each other enough to reach that point, and she was willing to be patient.

She watched his eyes drifting together, they had a rough day of training behind them and they were both exhausted. Unfortunately, she had things on her mind preventing her from being tired, but he was ready to fall prey to sleep’s mighty hypnosis.

Hinata was so warm next to him, but there was a feeling nagging her to get up. She decided to let Naruto lay down, kissed him on the cheek and said, “I will be back soon, I just want to take care of something first.” He mumbled something about being Hokage, the ramen king, obviously he was having a good dream so she let him sleep and crept silently from the room.

She walked down the hall and allowed her mind to wander, the past few days training with Naruto had been difficult, but the training seemed a bit old fashioned. Earlier, they sparred with each other while balancing on the rims of water filled jugs, and before that they tried to stand upon a small tree limb and float with it across the lake without getting their feet wet. Their were other methods like this, all focused on the basics of fighting, and their taijutsu abilities had grown exponentially.

Naruto, who normally used a massive amount of clones to fight the enemy until he found an obscure way to break through their defenses, was now using specific angles of his joints and strong stances to his advantage. His speed was unlike anything she had ever seen him attain, sometimes she couldn’t even see his movements and in moments he had her on the ground. It was odd not seeing Naruto jump head first into battle with a thousand shadow clones, she was so used to his unique fighting style that seeing him masterfully use the basic taijutsu fighting style was unnerving.

But his incredible growth showed the true strength of these basics, he was now only using shadow clones sparingly and only then as a distraction instead of an attack. He was like an entirely different Naruto, she even thought he might have changed emotionally until he made a comment about Granny Tsunade or the perverted hermit. The Naruto she learned to love was still there, he still worked hard and had a fairly loud mouth. But he was stronger now, he was becoming a Hokage.

When she snapped back into reality she realized that steam was filling the hallway. Her semi conscious wandering had led her to her favorite part of the house. As she drew nearer her thoughts traveled again to her experience with Naruto. By the time she reached the bath she had a hot passion in the pit of her stomach and had to meditate for several minutes before she calmed down.

She remembered when Kurenai had taught her these training methods, she told Hinata that a ninja could use their chakra for many things. Hinata mostly used her chakra to damage people’s muscles and internal organs by forcing a blast of energy through their body. And also for simple things like clinging to walls or to stand upon liquid surfaces. But there was a whole new level of manipulation that she hadn’t discovered, a training usually reserved for powerful jounin known as nature manipulation.

She had attempted a few different elements but could never connect with any, but when they moved to water, she showed an immediate level of capacity. Within a few days she could move the water without a challenge, within a week she could shoot sharp streams of water with a deadly accuracy, and within the month she even learned to control the temperature of the water and could create ice crystals. It was about this time that her midnight training sessions were interrupted by the foreign ninja and she was sent on the mission to save Naruto.

Well now she was here, and she needed to continue her training. She stood upon the hot water and stared slowly, letting small movements of the water become larger and larger as they gained momentum. She felt an odd affinity with this water, something closer than ever before, and she let herself get lost in that feeling. Soon the water was moving in ways she’d never been able to do before, giant waves without a splash, water falling sideways and upwards, completely defying gravity.

She was in a trance, the dance seemed to have just begun but she had already been training for hours. She didn’t have the slightest fatigue, it wasn’t an effort at all, it even felt like the training might be healing her. As she continued, her eyes closed in realaxation. She could feel the water with her mind, with her soul, she and the water were one being. But then she abruptly stopped.

She opened her eyes and saw the red eyed warrior standing in front of her. His face was emotionless, his eyes stared at her and seemed to bore into her soul. She couldn’t move, her muscles wouldn’t do a thing. She just stood in wide eyed horror, staring at him as he studied her. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a snowflake about the size of a throwing star. He tossed it into the water, and the water shot up into the air in an explosion of energy. It formed into the shape of a tortoise then fell apart and splashed back into the pool.

The red eyed ninja was gone, and in the center of the pool was a snowflake glowing a bright blue as it hovered above the water’s surface.

[Enduro]

Awesome job :amuse

[Triggerhappy69]

Woah, man, that red-eyed dude really loves to scare the shit outta people. That was an awesome chapter man, good to know you're still gifted in plot no jutsu.

Well guys, I guess this chapter stated that Naruto didn't get any nookie. But who cares, this story still gets my blood pumpin.

[Dark Seige]

whoa nice... the red eyed ninja part was interesting... And i agree with Triggerhappy69. Great Job.I really like that

[Corlock]

It's really good. Only advice would be to get rid of that bit about Hinata being able to make ice. According to cannon, one needs to be able to mix both wind chakra and water chakra to make and control ice. And that takes Haku's bloodline limit, which Hinata doesn't have. Unless of course you think the Byakugan also allows one to mix those two elements. I know it doesn't seem to make much sense. As in my opinion, if you can control water, you should be able to turn it into steam or ice. But Kishi says you need wind and water to make ice, and a bloodline limit to do something like that, so we just have to go with it.

[seijiro03]

It's really good. Only advice would be to get rid of that bit about Hinata being able to make ice. According to cannon, one needs to be able to mix both wind chakra and water chakra to make and control ice. And that takes Haku's bloodline limit, which Hinata doesn't have. Unless of course you think the Byakugan also allows one to mix those two elements. I know it doesn't seem to make much sense. As in my opinion, if you can control water, you should be able to turn it into steam or ice. But Kishi says you need wind and water to make ice, and a bloodline limit to do something like that, so we just have to go with it.

Whether it is wind and water that make ice or not, Hinata can still potentially be learning some wind with naruto. Just a suggestion.

[Corlock]

Whether it is wind and water that make ice or not, Hinata can still potentially be learning some wind with naruto. Just a suggestion.

It's not an issue of whether or not she learns wind. She can learn wind and water all she wants and be able to use both. However, she'll never be able to combine wind and water together to create a new element without a bloodline limit. Granted she has the byukagen, but we don't know if all bloodline limts allow the combination of elements to create a new one, or if only some of them do. The only bloodline limit that we've seen being capable of making and controlling ice is Haku's. If you want to see the proof for this whole thing from the manga, I posted the relevant pages from Chapter 316 and an explanation in the spoiler buttons below. If you have yet to read that Chapter, or don't want to know about it, feel free to skip the images and explaination, or just skip the images and read the explanation, or whatever combination your heart desires.

Chapter 316 Page 7
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/Corlock/Naruto%20Pages/Naruto_v35_ch316_p07.png

Chapter 316 Page 8
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/Corlock/Naruto%20Pages/Naruto_v35_ch316_p08.png

Explanation of Pages
Closely read the dialogue in panels 3, 4, and 5 on Page 7, and panels 1, 3, and 4 on Page 8. Yamoto says anyone can use two elements seperately, if they can manipulate two elements. So anyone can use water and wind, as long as they keep them seperate. However, if you want to use both together, or in combination, that's a totally different story. Kakashi says, "The ability to control two elements simultaneously and create a new element to manipulate, that's what's called a kekkei genkai (bloodline limit)." Then Kakashi tells us about Haku, and how his kekkei genkai allowed him to combine both water and wind together to create ice.

Essentially, all this means, one needs a kekkei genkai to take water and wind (or any two other elements) and combine them together to get a new element, ice (or wood, or something else). Now, it seems to me that it is possible that someone without a kekkei genkai could make wind chakra in their right hand, and water chakra in their left hand, and use them simultaneously. However, this person will not get ice. Instead, they'll just get water and wind. Again, this idea of being able to use both at once without combining them has not be confirmed and is only my own speculation. It may be that it is, in fact, not possible to even control two different elements at the same time without a kekkei genkai, I don't know.

I will also say that Hinata does have a kekkei genkai. It is possible that she has the ability to combine two element to make a new one. It might even be water and wind, to make ice. I don't know. However, I highly doubt it, as the byukagen kekkei genkai seems to really only grant the user the ability to see through anything and in 360 degrees. Considering that that seems to be the gift granted the byukagen, I highly doubt it also allows one to mix two different elemental chakras to create a new elemental chakra. However, that is possible.

(The special jutsus that Neiji has access to are not a gift of his kekkei genkai, but rather a result of having it. As without the byukagen the jutsus would be impossible to perform effectively. They could still be performed. There just would be no advantage to trying to hit the chakra points in an opponent without the byukagen. As without it you couldn't see the chakra points, and all that sort of stuff in regards to his other unique jutsus and the Gentle Fist style in general.)

Again, honestly, this whole thing about needing to mix wind and water to make ice makes very little sense to me, from a logical standpoint. It seems to me if you can control or create water, then you should be able to manipulate water in all it's states: solid, liquid, and gas. So, from a logical standpoint, I have no problem with a water chakra user being able to make ice. However, the manga says differently, and when writing a fanfic, one should try to stay as true to the rules of the source material as possible, even if you don't agree with them. That's the only reason I even brought it up.

[seijiro03]

It's not an issue of whether or not she learns wind. She can learn wind and water all she wants and be able to use both. However, she'll never be able to combine wind and water together to create a new element without a bloodline limit. Granted she has the byukagen, but we don't know if all bloodline limts allow the combination of elements to create a new one, or if only some of them do. The only bloodline limit that we've seen being capable of making and controlling ice is Haku's. If you want to see the proof for this whole thing from the manga, I posted the relevant pages from Chapter 316 and an explanation in the spoiler buttons below. If you have yet to read that Chapter, or don't want to know about it, feel free to skip the images and explaination, or just skip the images and read the explanation, or whatever combination your heart desires.

Chapter 316 Page 7
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/Corlock/Naruto%20Pages/Naruto_v35_ch316_p07.png

Chapter 316 Page 8
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/Corlock/Naruto%20Pages/Naruto_v35_ch316_p08.png

Explanation of Pages
Closely read the dialogue in panels 3, 4, and 5 on Page 7, and panels 1, 3, and 4 on Page 8. Yamoto says anyone can use two elements seperately, if they can manipulate two elements. So anyone can use water and wind, as long as they keep them seperate. However, if you want to use both together, or in combination, that's a totally different story. Kakashi says, "The ability to control two elements simultaneously and create a new element to manipulate, that's what's called a kekkei genkai (bloodline limit)." Then Kakashi tells us about Haku, and how his kekkei genkai allowed him to combine both water and wind together to create ice.

Essentially, all this means, one needs a kekkei genkai to take water and wind (or any two other elements) and combine them together to get a new element, ice (or wood, or something else). Now, it seems to me that it is possible that someone without a kekkei genkai could make wind chakra in their right hand, and water chakra in their left hand, and use them simultaneously. However, this person will not get ice. Instead, they'll just get water and wind. Again, this idea of being able to use both at once without combining them has not be confirmed and is only my own speculation. It may be that it is, in fact, not possible to even control two different elements at the same time without a kekkei genkai, I don't know.

I will also say that Hinata does have a kekkei genkai. It is possible that she has the ability to combine two element to make a new one. It might even be water and wind, to make ice. I don't know. However, I highly doubt it, as the byukagen kekkei genkai seems to really only grant the user the ability to see through anything and in 360 degrees. Considering that that seems to be the gift granted the byukagen, I highly doubt it also allows one to mix two different elemental chakras to create a new elemental chakra. However, that is possible.

(The special jutsus that Neiji has access to are not a gift of his kekkei genkai, but rather a result of having it. As without the byukagen the jutsus would be impossible to perform effectively. They could still be performed. There just would be no advantage to trying to hit the chakra points in an opponent without the byukagen. As without it you couldn't see the chakra points, and all that sort of stuff in regards to his other unique jutsus and the Gentle Fist style in general.)

Again, honestly, this whole thing about needing to mix wind and water to make ice makes very little sense to me, from a logical standpoint. It seems to me if you can control or create water, then you should be able to manipulate water in all it's states: solid, liquid, and gas. So, from a logical standpoint, I have no problem with a water chakra user being able to make ice. However, the manga says differently, and when writing a fanfic, one should try to stay as true to the rules of the source material as possible, even if you don't agree with them. That's the only reason I even brought it up.

for the love of god... it is a fanfiction and a very good one at that. give the man the credit he deserves.

[Corlock]

for the love of god... it is a fanfiction and a very good one at that. give the man the credit he deserves.


I do.

Yeah, this fic is awesome. Give me more now. As to straying from Naruto and Hinata's character traits, don't worry about it. Although they've strayed from their character traits, as extablished in the source material, they have strayed because of the events of the story and for logical reasons. So it's all good in the hood.

Again, honestly, this whole thing about needing to mix wind and water to make ice makes very little sense to me, from a logical standpoint. It seems to me if you can control or create water, then you should be able to manipulate water in all it's states: solid, liquid, and gas. So, from a logical standpoint, I have no problem with a water chakra user being able to make ice. However, the manga says differently, and when writing a fanfic, one should try to stay as true to the rules of the source material as possible, even if you don't agree with them. That's the only reason I even brought it up.

Read that last part in bold really, really carefully. Mull it over for a few minutes. Make sure you fully understand what I'm saying there.

sorry, I just like feedback. I just like to know if I need to change something that sounds stupid or might be going in a bad direction from people who know best, the readers. I write this for every fan fiction fanboy/girl out there so I want to write something you'll all enjoy. I still want some more feedback though. (P.S. this is just a background and filler chapter, maybe the 2nd is a little bit too. I hope to really get into the story and not make it all meaningless fluff.)

Now, read that really carefully. That's posted by the author. He's asking for honest feedback, both negative and positive criticism. But he'd especially like any problems that people have with the fic to be pointed out. All I was attempting to do when pointing out the minor issue I've mentioned, is to honor this request by the author.

This next bit I posted in a thread in the fanart subform, but it is very relevant to this current discussion. Here's the thread it's from. (http://forums.narutofan.com/showthread.php?t=122528)

Overall, these are excellent sketches... Pointed out some issues with the drawings. ...Other than those things, all the drawings are awesome, and way way better than anything I could ever do. And while I've given some criticism of the pieces, I by no means think they suck or are bad. They are so good, just thought I'd point out what I noticed so you were aware of these things for future drawings. After all, it is only by being made aware of our flaws that we are able to fix them.

See that last part in bold? Read that really, really carefully. Make sure you understand it. Once you do, read the remainder of this post.

The sentiment expressed in the bolded part of that last quotation is the sentiment behind all criticisms I offer to any artist or author. Being a writer myself, I do love getting comments like, "Oh wowz, ur fic is teh awesome. Keep it comingz." However, as nice as these comments are to hear, as encouraging as they are, I find them utterly useless. Comments such as these don't help me improve my writing. They're all nice and lovely dovey, and sure they make me feel all warm and good inside, but in the end they're not all that helpful.

On the other hand, I enjoy comments like, "Wow, I really like your fic. It's very well written and all. However, I think you could have handled this one scene better by doing this instead. (Goes on to give example of alternate way to write the scene,)" far more. They are just as warm and fuzzy and encouraging as the first comment. But they also help me to become a better writer and can help to make my fic better. I may not agree with what the person says I should do, but their comment is infinately more helpful than the first one. And it in some ways can even be a bigger boost to an author's confidence, as it shows him that people are actually taking his/her writing seriously, and really thinking about it when they're reading it.

Whenever I can, I try to leave comments like the second one. Unfortunately, I am not very good at proofreading, so I can't offer corrections for grammatical errors. I can offer corrections for continuity issues with the source material though. In my first comment, Brant had been worried that he was straying too far from Naruto and Hinata's personalities as established in the comic. I offered him my own opinion on his concern. In my second post, I offered my opinion on the only issue I saw with the story thus far.

You seemed to think my ascertaintion about the issue with the source material's continuity was wrong. I then offered proof that it wasn't. That proof I offered was mostly for your benefit, it was not offered in an attempt to attack Brant's writing or story in away way. It was offered only for its imformative nature. And as I said at the end of my post, to me it doesn't really matter if he keeps the ice manipulation for Hinata or not. The only reason I pointed it out is because it conflicted with the source material, and because there would be other people out there who would comment on it. Those other people would not comment to Brent about it in anything approaching a polite manner. I figured it'd be better, if I pointed it out now, and purely with good intentions in the most polite manner possible. That way some jackass later wouldn't post, "This story sux. Hinata can't manipulate ice, you said she can only do water. Water + wind + kekkei genkai = ice. Since Hinata only has water, she can't have ice MORON!!!! U = fail!!!11!!!1" I think my method of pointing out this “issue” is a little bit better than the alternative, don’t you?

In addition, I fully understand the concept that Brent’s fic can, and probably does, exist in his own interpretation of the Narutoverse. I have no problem with that idea. If in Brent’s version of the Narutoverse, you don’t need a kekkei genkai allowing you to combine water and ice to manipulate ice and you don't need both water and wind to manipulate ice, that’s perfectly fine by me and I can accept that. However, there are plenty of people out there who would not be able to accept that idea. These people would then most likely trash Brent’s story for making such a mistake. I figured I’d point it out to him so that he wouldn’t have to deal with those kinds of comments from those people.

The act of me pointing out this problem in no way means I think Brent’s story sucks. In fact, I love Brent’s story. I think it’s awesome and incredible, and very well written. But I also felt, the way I could best help Brent would be to act as an honest critic and mention to him the one problem I saw with his fic. Especially since I find such criticism far more useful than ones that simply tell me I’m awesome, or other nonsense.

If you can’t grasp the idea that I can point out a slight issue in Brent’s fanfic and still absolutely love it, that’s not my problem. It's your problem. Also, in the future, I would appreciate it if you would please refrain from attacking me for offering what I feel is the most helpful criticism I can provide to an author or artist. Thank you.

[Just Another human]

I loved it :love!!

Please updatesmile-big
I love ur fanfiction =)

[Triggerhappy69]

Aghhhhh, damnit, I can't give u more rep cuz I'm maxed out for today, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[Leonhart_Strife]

Awsome chapter!

update soon

[DarkFire]

awesome update keep it coming its like ice cream and cheese to me!

[Vanguard89]

This one is directed to Corlock and Seijro03... This is not the forum to be having an arguement over something as petty as a difference in opinions. Take it somewhere else, please? For the sake of this Fanfic?

Thank You.

[DarkFire]

vanguard i think ur totatlly right and i hope a mod dsn close it because of them and they should really spoil tag them i had to scroll a really long time just to post this!God guyz

[Triggerhappy69]

vanguard i think ur totatlly right and i hope a mod dsn close it because of them and they should really spoil tag them i had to scroll a really long time just to post this!God guyz

Ah don't worry, this thread won't be closed until Brant finishes up this bitchin fanfic.

[Azure-kun]

great Job, Brant. I just came back from the deep south (damned Rednecks) anyways I'm alittle tired but read youe Updates, also I wanna say sorry to Corlock, for some of the Younger members That Might be giving him trouble...some of them might be In the starting Point if there Teen Years...

[seijiro03]

This one is directed to Corlock and Seijro03... This is not the forum to be having an arguement over something as petty as a difference in opinions. Take it somewhere else, please? For the sake of this Fanfic?

Thank You.


I agree.

Remember kids, arguing on the internet is like running in the special olypics. Even if you win, you are still freaking retarted...

[Triggerhappy69]

I agree.

Remember kids, arguing on the internet is like running in the special olypics. Even if you win, you are still freaking retarted...

Woah, that was mean....but really funny.

[seijiro03]

That is the reality of the forums. It also goes to show how much I care if I win an argument or not. This one, I was just tired and rambling. Now I am awake and doing my best to not look stupid. (By the way, how am I doing at that?)

[LenKun]

Brant you make me want to write my own damn it, your story is AMAZING, I hope you can keep it up ::D

[Wilykat]

I just got around to reading the whole thing. I've enjoyed it so far. I did notice a few typos here and there so I would suggest a beta reader or using spell check somewhere?

[Vanguard89]

That is the reality of the forums. It also goes to show how much I care if I win an argument or not. This one, I was just tired and rambling. Now I am awake and doing my best to not look stupid. (By the way, how am I doing at that?)

You look neither stupid nor intelligent, for I cannot see you...

But anyway, I cannot wait for Bryant to continue with this fanfic! Very entertaining, I am losing sleep just by reading this!

[sasukalover101]

u got me hook on this pleaz rite more smile-big pretty pleaz

[sniperelite7]

Cool fic definantly one of the better ones that manages not to become cheesy overtime.

[Brant Kogasu]

It's really good. Only advice would be to get rid of that bit about Hinata being able to make ice. According to cannon, one needs to be able to mix both wind chakra and water chakra to make and control ice. And that takes Haku's bloodline limit, which Hinata doesn't have. Unless of course you think the Byakugan also allows one to mix those two elements. I know it doesn't seem to make much sense. As in my opinion, if you can control water, you should be able to turn it into steam or ice. But Kishi says you need wind and water to make ice, and a bloodline limit to do something like that, so we just have to go with it.


Alright guys, I feel bad that I forgot to explain this one, it seems to have caused a lot of controvesy and I don't want you, my friends, to fight over it. I understand and would have pointed it out too, it is not (according to the manga) consistant with the story. But I am here to tell you that there is more to Hinata in this story than meets the eye. It has nothing to do with a bloodline limit at all. Just trust that the ice thing is not an author's mistake, but a hint towards the future of my oh so complicated plot.


Being a writer myself, I do love getting comments like, "Oh wowz, ur fic is teh awesome. Keep it comingz." However, as nice as these comments are to hear, as encouraging as they are, I find them utterly useless. Comments such as these don't help me improve my writing. They're all nice and lovely dovey, and sure they make me feel all warm and good inside, but in the end they're not all that helpful.

On the other hand, I enjoy comments like, "Wow, I really like your fic. It's very well written and all. However, I think you could have handled this one scene better by doing this instead. (Goes on to give example of alternate way to write the scene,)" far more. They are just as warm and fuzzy and encouraging as the first comment. But they also help me to become a better writer and can help to make my fic better. I may not agree with what the person says I should do, but their comment is infinately more helpful than the first one. And it in some ways can even be a bigger boost to an author's confidence, as it shows him that people are actually taking his/her writing seriously, and really thinking about it when they're reading it.
He is absolutly right, I love the comments, whether it's just a comment telling me if you do or don't like it and reminding me to get off my ass and write another update, or an attempt to point out a mistake that I made. Although I actually really do enjoy the confidence boosters.

I do make mistakes and I love to hear what you honestly think, it has effected where I have taken this story in the past and thanks to you guys, the direction I have taken it has helped the story in a possitive way. You all inspire me to write and it is truly that inspiration that has made this story great.

I will post soon, don't you worry. And trust me on the ice thing, but don't hesitate to point out any future mistakes or inconsistancies.

Thanks for reading!!!

[Triggerhappy69]

Alright guys, I feel bad that I forgot to explain this one, it seems to have caused a lot of controvesy and I don't want you, my friends, to fight over it. I understand and would have pointed it out too, it is not (according to the manga) consistant with the story. But I am here to tell you that there is more to Hinata in this story than meets the eye. It has nothing to do with a bloodline limit at all. Just trust that the ice thing is not an author's mistake, but a hint towards the future of my oh so complicated plot.


He is absolutly right, I love the comments, whether it's just a comment telling me if you do or don't like it and reminding me to get off my ass and write another update, or an attempt to point out a mistake that I made. Although I actually really do enjoy the confidence boosters.

I do make mistakes and I love to hear what you honestly think, it has effected where I have taken this story in the past and thanks to you guys, the direction I have taken it has helped the story in a possitive way. You all inspire me to write and it is truly that inspiration that has made this story great.

I will post soon, don't you worry. And trust me on the ice thing, but don't hesitate to point out any future mistakes or inconsistancies.

Thanks for reading!!!

Yeah, I was kinda wonderin if u did that whole ice thing with Hinata intentionally. But now that I know u did and that it'll be important to the story later on, I feel much better.

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

PLZ MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Brant Kogasu]

hey guys, the time has come for more reading material. I hope that you'll enjoy this one, it's a little slow but necesary, I'll explain a little more after the post. As for my friends who have not read the Manga, I'm afraid that there is a spoiler. I have made, I think, one of my first hints to a post timeskip setting, but if I had any others they really didn't give much away. (everyone who's caught up with the anime has probably guessed that Naruto is to be trained by Jiraiya.)

But I remember my gleeful surprise at when I saw in the Manga... that Gaara became the Kazekage. I don't want to give anything away, so please do yourself a favor and if you haven't read the manga, do so post haste (Fast). It is a work of art and genius, you wont be dissapointed if you read it.

And without further adieu...

It was dark, darker even than his mind. He could feel the sand sliding around him, looking for a way out, but there was no hole or even a crack underneath the door. “You don’t seem to understand your predicament.”

It was the voice of an old man, the same voice that had taunted him for days. Gaara was through writing in anger at his captor, he could have his revenge when he escaped, until then getting out of the box was the only thing to focus on. “You don’t understand the nature of my demon, I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh, I understand it very well. In fact, long before you were born, I met with this demon and in some act of insanity, spared his life. It is a tale untold, for that is the nature of my life. But just because tales of my strength and the strength of my students hasn’t made their way into your legends means in no way that our strength isn’t legendary. Even you, with the one-tailed demon, can’t grasp our level of power.

“Haven’t you noticed by now, the very cage you sit in is made of sand, yet you can’t control it at all. The only sand I have never been able to control resides inside your gourd, that is one of the many reasons I have you here. That and I want to see more of your...abilities.

I am old enough to give credit where credit is due, you have the capacity of a genius. I am wise enough to learn from my enemies so I can beetter myself. Even though you were once weak to your demon, you have proven your brilliance by rising above him to become the Kazekage himself. There are many lessons within your talent for me to learn. But don’t be fooled into believing that the fear you caused in your youth is forgotten, even if you have talent you must pay for what you've done.

“You took the lives of innocents and criminals alike, for no other reason than standing in your way. I would commend your killing of those who deserve that fate but I’m afraid that in this case, the ends don’t justify the means. You killed without care of any human life, and that is a crime against all that I stand for. Once I have what I need, I will make sure that you and your demon never take a life again.”

Gaara tried not to focus on his words, but they were true. The demon was inside him, but he killed of his own free will. He was the demon for allowing those deaths to occur, he was the one controlling the sand. “I chose to live a life of service and atonement.”

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that.” Gaara heard footsteps walking away, and a smile crept to his face. Though his power over earth was great, Gaara had already discovered his captor’s weakness. “Don’t be fooled into believing that my demon is my only power.”

* * *


Hinata drifted from her sleep. She was in bed with Naruto now but…

The man with red eyes! She remembered now. The snowflake rested in the middle of the hot water and she ran instinctively to grab it. It was cold to her hand, but somehow it felt warm against her chakra. She had held it up close to her eyes for a closer look, and then there was a white light.

Now she was here, it must have been a dream, but it had felt so real. She felt the calming peace of her training, the fear inside her when that man appeared, even the abbraisive feeling of hot water splashing against her face when the water fell back into the pool.

She looked over at Naruto, he was drooling in his sleep, his body tangled in blankets from rolling around in his sleep. He was smiling and twitching his cheek, probably dreaming about food. She sighed and stared out into the hall, it was almost pitch black, but she could still faintly make out the shapes of the floor meeting the wall. But though it was dark, she felt no eyes in the shadows, she and Naruto were in this house alone.

There was no one there but something was still making her uneasy, what meaning did that snowflake have? What was the light? Even if it was a dream those vivid images must have some meaning. She stood up and was about to pace the house to calm her nerves when Naruto groaned and hugged her leg. She smiled, maybe she would allow herself comfort for now, there was always tomorrow to investigate.

She lied next to Naruto and closed her eyes, his body had heated the blankets and she let herself huddle into the warmth. She became suddenly exhausted and was soon dreaming with Naruto, unaware of the eyes watching her, the snowflake sat upon the dresser.


The "dream" idea is essential so that our two heroes aren't spooked out of the cave. If there knew there was a way for their pursuer to get in, they would logically have to leave immediately. I'm not ready for that yet, there are still a few very important things about the cave that I must unveil, and I want at least another bath scene! (He he he, I have my fantasies)

But there is a lot more to come, I might even introduce another of my favorite characters. And I can't wait to let you in on the Gaara storyline a bit more. oh well, maybe next time. (Hopefully next time is tonight if I feel up to it)

[Ramentastic]

That gaara storyline seems really interesting. and i like how at the end you said someone was watching them. anyway another awesome piece of work as usual! can't wait for the next one!!!

[Triggerhappy69]

Yeah, I was wonderin when you were gonna get back to the whole Gaara situation. So, sand that Gaara CAN'T control? Gonna be interesting to see how that plays out.

I have a question though, what time period is this story in? Is this Pre or Post-Timeskip?

[Vanguard89]

If Gaara is Kazekage already, it would be post-timeskip...

[Ramentastic]

yeah and it said that naruto was training with jiraiya while http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/1188/gaaralikesdsxz3.jpg

[Corlock]

Brent, how far are you into the manga? Although since you've gotten to the whole elemental chakra thing, you've gotta be past the Gaara arc. Anyway, see below.

The reason I ask, is because I'm having trouble placing this in the time line. See, when you included Gaara and said he still had his demon, I assumed it was pre-time skip. But you've put it post-time skip. I'm having a little trouble placing it, because almost immediately after returning post-time skip, Naruto is sent on a mission to rescue Gaara. While Gaara does survive, his demon has been extracted. Meaning he no longer has it, or at least, that is what we're led to believe from the manga. Considering how this happens almost immediately after the time skip, I'm having trouble seeing how this is post-time skip and Gaara is still in possession of his demon.

Now, it could be we'll eventually find out that Gaara still has his demon, so who knows. And of course, even if he didn't have it any longer, I don't think your Heavenly Four would care, as Gaara would still need to pay for his crimes in their minds. It's just I don't know that Gaara would reference the demon still being inside him. He might still consider his past actions demonic, and feel that there is a demon inside him. Just not the one that had been sealed there. As I said, I'm just not sure exactly how this fits in the time line is all.

Again, story is great. Just having trouble resolving the issue with the timeline. As for the ice thing, don't worry about. As I said, I never really cared that much. And if you've got an explanation for it, even better, so that issue is now a moot point. Keep writing, the story is awesome.

[Brant Kogasu]

Ha ha, I did update within 24 hours of my last post. It's a new record... I think.

Oh, and to answer your question Corlock, it is right as he gets home after the time skip. It is a little difficult to fit into the story because they were off on a mission right away, but I wanted to use the strength that they gained as a part of my story. I wish that Naruto spent more time in the village upon returning so I could place it easier, but I guess it'll have to just be one of those things you don't pay much thought to. I might find a way to link my story to the real story in the very distant end, I was actually originally planning it because of the extreme character developement that I plan to do. So plan on me making a plot device in the final chapter that'll link this to our series already in progress.

There are a lot of mysterious powers in play in my story, some of these characters even have gods dwelling inside of them (see Atohi and Yasuo) I'll jsut say this, there is a reason that no one specifically remebers Atohi or the legendary four, despite there many good deeds they are only remembered as a small group of childrens heroes. The only thing people remember them by is the one point in their history that they got paid for missions, which didn't last long. Tsunade remembers Atohi but there is a reason for that too, I'll explain later in the story.

Naruto had never noticed, but before this he had always been better than Hinata. Except for the one time in the dark cave, he had beaten her every time, but today was different. He was well rested, well nourished and determined, but his moves never came close to reaching her.

He threw a punch at her mid-section, but she turned her body letting his fist fly past her. She spun and used the power of the turn to send a palm strike at his ribs, he turned his body and attempted a block but was not fast enough to completely deflect the blow. It was not a direct hit but it still sent him spinning, he tried to regain his composure but by the time he had control of the spin, she was kicking at his head.

Naruto caught the kick with his forearm, sending him flying back as she jumped towards him and punched down from the air. His only choice was his favorite technique. His replacement took the hit while another jumped onto his shoulders. As the first clone disappeared, the second jumped through the smoke into her. She struck it on the head, causing another explosion of smoke as Naruto jumped into the trees.

He used his chakra to latch on to a tree limb and swing around it, propelling him towards her to catch her off guard, but as soon as he grabbed the tree, she was right next to him kicking his hand so his connection was lost. Without anything to grab onto, he flew into a limb behind him striking him on his spine. His breath was knocked away but he was determined not to give up.

He created a clone underneath him and jumped off its back towards her, he was not attacking, but waiting for her to make the first strike. But the attack never came, she stepped to the side and grabbed him with both of her arms, then spun her arms sending him out of control through the air. If her wanted to fight on this high of a level, he’d have to use the fox’s chakra, but it would be pointless to go to that level during training, the fox was only for emergencies. Instead he took the fall, and hit the ground hard.

He rolled across the dirt until he was forced against a tree and in one loud crack, stopped immediately after hitting it’s trunk. It was a large tree, sturdy and powerful, but as he glanced behind himself he noticed that it was completely cracked in half. Where did she learn to fight like this?

“Are you okay Naruto-kun. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He would have told her that it was alright, but realized that he hadn’t breathed since the wind was knocked out of him and had no breath for words. She let him lie on the ground as she ripped off his shirt to check for wounds. Finally his breathing caught up to him and he spoke.

“Hinata, I only brought one shirt.” She fell into fits of apologizing as he caught his breath, but as he recovered, he stared at her with both great admiration and a small twinge of fear. “Hinata, when did you learn to move like that, it was like fighting water. No matter how many punches I threw you moved out of the way and it seemed like you hit me with the force of a tsunami.”

“I don’t know, it was just easier to move today. It’s like the dream…” Even though he was trying hard to listen, he wasn’t able to hear a word of what she said due to the ringing in his ears. She really hit him hard.

“What was that?”

“No…nothing. Let’s find you some new clothes.” He limped back to the castle, she was carrying most of his weight from his arm over her shoulder. He was still awestruck at the way she had moved, it was like fighting Kakashi or maybe even worse. Whatever scroll she had found Naruto decided he had to train from.

When they got to the castle, they immediately went to what they knew as the guest room. It was unmarked, but seemed like an untouched bed with room for a few belongings so they used it as such. They had already stocked up on all the clothes that they could find, but unfortunately they were all kimono. Naruto finally settled on one with red fire markings up the sleeves. It was a samurai’s outfit so he found a pair of matching Hakama and some wooden sandals. Because he looked awkward being the only one in traditional garb, Hinata wore a dark blue Kimono with white flowers.

She looked like a goddess in her outfit, he had never seen her in such clothing and found the colors and the thin, form fitting silk to be a new view of her feminine beauty. He found himself thinking of how her skin was already as soft as silk, how she had let him feel every inch of her. He controlled himself, but he couldn’t help but think of himself and Hinata doing those forbidden acts.

“Actually… I think that I want to continue where we left off last time, you know, in the bath. But I was wondering if we could stay in bed today.” Naruto’s face was bright red, he was being much more direct than he usually was with her, but seeing her in the kimono brought him the confidence. A smile immediately crept on her face, so soon after putting on new clothes they were already taking them off.

[Triggerhappy69]

Oh man, here we go, somebody start the porn music.

I wonder what was up with Naruto, cuz he got his ass handed to him. I wonder if that red-eyed dude did somethin to Hinata.

[Brant Kogasu]

no porn, just love. I'm a big believer that sexuality is not an ugly thing if it is an expression of love. Plus, I have waited for any hint of Naru Hina-ness by Kishimoto and have gotten close to nothing so I want to go a bit overboard just to make up for his lack of relationships. It has very little to do with Atohi, but I can't say exactly why she has gotten stronger, nor can I tell you about the ice thing yet. Please be patient and I promise I will explain everything in due time.

[Triggerhappy69]

no porn, just love. I'm a big believer that sexuality is not an ugly thing if it is an expression of love. Plus, I have waited for any hint of Naru Hina-ness by Kishimoto and have gotten close to nothing so I want to go a bit overboard just to make up for his lack of relationships. It has very little to do with Atohi, but I can't say exactly why she has gotten stronger, nor can I tell you about the ice thing yet. Please be patient and I promise I will explain everything in due time.

Yeah, I know it's not porn. It's just that whenever people start gettin ready to do "somethin," that porn theme just pops up in my head.

Well, I never expected you to tell me anything, I was just speculatin. Can't wait for more story man, u rock :Gaipose.

[LenKun]

Brant you are my hero, I agree 100 percent on the whole naruto relations, this will sound retarded but I just read naruhina fanfics alot so :D, I like it lol

[Yagami]

amazing as always. That training really paid of for Hinata=)

U know I have this thread on my favorites now.

peace

[Just Another human]

I loved it!

[sasukalover101]

nicely done plz rite more thanx

[chishio-kun]

Wow, amazing. I admitt, speechless.

[Crimson_Eyes]

i'm so addicted to this story, you really do have great skillz!lol, you seem like a person who would write a wonderfly detailed romance book.

[Corlock]

So good.

:: Starts hearing bass heavy music. ::

Anyway, yeah. The waterfall taught Hinata many things it seems. I wonder what else she learned from it.

[Leonhart_Strife]

I luv this story it just keeps getting better and better!!!!!!!!!

[Triggerhappy69]

Hey Brant, do you already have the whole story planned out, or are u makin it up as u go. I'm just wonderin cuz all great writers are asked this question.

(:smack Stop kissing ass Trigger)

[Brant Kogasu]

I'll just say this, I had no idea where this story was going in the beginning and went with the flow, but now I have plans on where to take it. A lot of my plans come from my older updates, I find a way to plan the story so there are no inconsistancies, but a lot of it comes from thinking past my updates at where the story is going and making sure I don't start going down a road that I don't want the story to travel. So to answer your question, a little bit of both. I have no Idea what the next update will be about but I know where I want to take some of the story in the future.

I was actually wondering if any of my readers are artists. I was in AP studio art last year but my skills are in traditional art and I want to get better at drawing anime style. If you have any tips for me, or if my story has inspired you to draw a scene, please let me know. I was thinking of making a sort of "Um... my Naru Hina fan fiction" advertisement for signatures. If someone wanted to (No pressure) draw something from the story and/or make a banner, I would appreciate it very much. It's just that I love hearing your feedback and I'm always looking for new readers so I wanted something in my signature that would grab some eyes and they'd check it out.

P.S. trigger, I love your avatar.

[murderface]

im good at drawing. im not shure if this is any help, but unless the person you are drawing is pissed, dont compleat the eyes. example... make two curved lines, one just below the eyebrow and one just above the arch the nose thene make a diagnal line conecting the 2 curves. then add the puple. im not good at mathing the eyes so i usually make hiar or somthing covering one eye. oh and AWSOME FANFIC!!! iv read alot of fanfics but not alot as good as this

[Triggerhappy69]

I was actually wondering if any of my readers are artists. I was in AP studio art last year but my skills are in traditional art and I want to get better at drawing anime style. If you have any tips for me, or if my story has inspired you to draw a scene, please let me know. I was thinking of making a sort of "Um... my Naru Hina fan fiction" advertisement for signatures.

That's a really good idea. Sadly I can't draw worth shit. But I think u should go to the fanart section and ask someone to draw somethin for ya. That's where I would start.

[murderface]

oh and im new at forums so how do i add pictures, make avatars, and add links?

[Triggerhappy69]

oh and im new at forums so how do i add pictures, make avatars, and add links?

Go to the Academy Registratin section of the thread, and one of the sticky threads in there explains everything.

[murderface]

thanks dude

[murderface]

im really stupid, but how do i get to Academy Registratin?

[neko-sennin]

...Anyway, see below.

The reason I ask, is because I'm having trouble placing this in the time line. See, when you included Gaara and said he still had his demon, I assumed it was pre-time skip. But you've put it post-time skip. I'm having a little trouble placing it, because almost immediately after returning post-time skip, Naruto is sent on a mission to rescue Gaara. While Gaara does survive, his demon has been extracted. Meaning he no longer has it, or at least, that is what we're led to believe from the manga. Considering how this happens almost immediately after the time skip, I'm having trouble seeing how this is post-time skip and Gaara is still in possession of his demon.

Now, it could be we'll eventually find out that Gaara still has his demon, so who knows. And of course, even if he didn't have it any longer, I don't think your Heavenly Four would care, as Gaara would still need to pay for his crimes in their minds. It's just I don't know that Gaara would reference the demon still being inside him. He might still consider his past actions demonic, and feel that there is a demon inside him. Just not the one that had been sealed there. As I said, I'm just not sure exactly how this fits in the time line is all.

I myself have recently started reading the post-timeskip manga, in part because of this fanfic. (No blame, Brant, your fic just gave me an excuse to do something I've wanted to do for a while anyway. Most of my sources say Part II of the anime isn't going to begin until Kishimoto & Company are finished with the current storyline in the manga, so I wanted a more direct way to find out when the hell the fillers are going to end. The only way to do that without a ton of spoilers was to read it for myself.) Though I do have a major point to make about your theory:

The fact that Deidara went to such lengths to secure Gaara's body suggests that he and Shukaku may still be bound. That's not an absolute, but given that it was only when faced with death against Naruto and Kakashi that Deidara finally abandoned the body, I think what they did to him was perhaps just preparation to extract Shukaku, and Gaara's resurrection completely disrupted it. That, and neither Gaara nor Tsunade seem overly worried that Akatsuki has the thing, so that also leans toward Gaara still being a Jinchuuriki.

That having been said, it was one of the most moving moments in the entire series, when all of Gaara's people came out for him, and Naruto helped him claim still more of the humanity he was never allowed to have.

Sorry, Brant, but I've been having major trouble with the computer lately. I will try to catch up with the remaining chapters, but a lot of things are out of my hands right now, so I make no promises. I will get to read it sooner or later, though, and I promise you that.

[Triggerhappy69]

I myself have recently started reading the post-timeskip manga, in part because of this fanfic. (No blame, Brant, your fic just gave me an excuse to do something I've wanted to do for a while anyway. Most of my sources say Part II of the anime isn't going to begin until Kishimoto & Company are finished with the current storyline in the manga, so I wanted a more direct way to find out when the hell the fillers are going to end. The only way to do that without a ton of spoilers was to read it for myself.) Though I do have a major point to make about your theory:

The fact that Deidara went to such lengths to secure Gaara's body suggests that he and Shukaku may still be bound. That's not an absolute, but given that it was only when faced with death against Naruto and Kakashi that Deidara finally abandoned the body, I think what they did to him was perhaps just preparation to extract Shukaku, and Gaara's resurrection completely disrupted it. That, and neither Gaara nor Tsunade seem overly worried that Akatsuki has the thing, so that also leans toward Gaara still being a Jinchuuriki.

That having been said, it was one of the most moving moments in the entire series, when all of Gaara's people came out for him, and Naruto helped him claim still more of the humanity he was never allowed to have.

Sorry, Brant, but I've been having major trouble with the computer lately. I will try to catch up with the remaining chapters, but a lot of things are out of my hands right now, so I make no promises. I will get to read it sooner or later, though, and I promise you that.

Actually, I think in the manga, Deidara stated that he only wanted Gaara's body as a trophy. But you have a good theory there.

[Naruka]

this is an awsome fanfiction but the way you devided it to jump around makes it kina confusing when are you going to wrap it all up and hav a big fight. Of course i'm also looking forward to the next bath scene.

[Brant Kogasu]

well, I like to jump between storylines to keep myself from getting bored with one character, a lot of storys are built this way (maybe not as extreme as this) but from all of the reading I've done it feels natural. A big fight is coming, I am really excited about the next part and I will write it later today. Chack back for updates at like 12:30 or 1:00-ish if you're still awake. The reason Hinata has this new burst of power is explained, along with the ice thing.

Also, is there a place other than fanfiction.net where I can post this story? I just want the whole thing neat and tidy and in a row so it's easier for newcomers to catch up. I don't like the FF.net layout but is there a place wither on this forum or in a place like to post it all?

[chishio-kun]

By the way, Brant, don't feel too bad about the delays; this past week or so has been one logistical nightmare after another for me, so I just finally got to catch up on your story.

Great work! (Later, I'm going to have to re-read the earlier chapters to see what connections I can find between Gaara's sidestory, and the main branch of it.) And there's nothing to be ashamed of about that last chapter; it still captured "NaruxHina" atmosphere perfectly. It's not often you see such a well-written hot-springs scene.

By the way, are you familiar with a series called Ai Yori Aoshi? Don't worry, I'm not accusing you of plagiarism or anything like that, I'm just saying that you managed to capture a similar-- if younger-- vibe, that's all. I think you might like it-- there's also a couple good hot springs chapters in that one, even better than in Love Hina. But then again, while Naruto is nothing like Kaoru, Hinata is a lot like a younger Aoi. I can see it now...

AOI: "Kaoru-sama... I can tell you anything, right?"

KAORU: "Yes, Aoi-chan, anything at all. Um, what is it?"

AOI: "No, it's too embarrassing..."

KAORU: "Please. You can tell me."

AOI: "But... It's just so embarrassing... I don't know how to say it..."

KAORU: "But now I'll wonder about it until you tell me."

AOI: "Promise you won't laugh, Kaoru-sama?"

KAORU: "I promise, Aoi-chan."

AOI: "Okay... Kauru-sama, I... I want to be a ninja!"

* Kaoru is too stunned to speak *

AOI:"I can have Tina-san teach me survival skills... and Tae-chin teach me mystical arts... and Miyabi-san can teach me martial arts..."

* Kaoru is still too stunned to speak *

* Mayu barges in *

MAYU: "I heard that! Hanabashi-sama, to win your heart, Mayu will become the greatest ninja ever! Saiyonji can get me the best training money can buy, and you'll see just how great a ninja I can be!..."

...Or something like that.

Anyhoo, great job, Brant. Most of the time, I'm not much into reading fanfics, so it says something that I'm still reading this. You're doing an awesome job.

Cool! A fan?

[DarkFire]

awesome update brant can't wait for more keep it coming and BTW i think with ur unqiue time-skip pre-skip thing is pretty cool Keep it coming!

[Brant Kogasu]

Ok, I'm a bastard. But I'm afraid that tension is one of the most important tools of a writer. You are probably going to be mad at me for this one, but not only am I slightly embarassed to be posting this in a non-adult forum, but I felt that when things finally got perfect something bad needed to happen. That's how real life is, bad things happen at the worst times. In fact I think this post might be me still being pissed off for my dad coming home too early when I was...ahem... loving my girlfriend. He didn't catch us or anything, but we saw his car and had to stop the fun.

But it's still a great post, there is a lot that goes on so if you have any questions, post them and I'll answer to the best of my ability...enjoy:

Hinata slid the sheets off of the bed, her heart was beating into her throat. The room was dark and she could barely see dim light create a silhouette of Naruto. He was taking off his sleeves, slowly and seductively. Knowing Naruto it was not purposefully seductive but Hinata still let the slow actions melt away her inhibitions.

She slid under the blankets, they were cold from sitting dormant in the room for hours, but once Naruto was in bed with her, the cold blankets were miniscule compared to his warm skin. She slipped off her kimono, all the while hearing Naruto’s breath become heavy. She reached her hand around him, pulling him even closer and letting their bare bodies feel the other’s heat. She began to kiss him, then everything went wrong.

Behind Naruto, the red eyed ninja walked through the doorway, before either of them could react, he had grabbed Naruto’s arm and drug him from the bed. “I’m sorry, I truly am. I wish this didn’t have to happen now but… I’m afraid I’ve given you all the time I can.” With that he and her love disappeared. Not even her byakugan could find them.

She was about to go after them when a new figure stepped into the doorway. “Nice to meet you, my name is Kousetsu Yasuo, but please, call me Yasu.”

* * *

“I’m going to kill you!” His eyes were red, the demon inside him fully awake. Atohi was outside of the cave, flying through the air hundreds of feet above the winter landscape. The Jinchuuriki was struggling too much for him to hold on, so he flew sharply downwards into a clearing. When he landed, he threw the boy into the snow which immediately began to melt. The demon foxes fiery chakra was seeping out of his body and even begging to form the shape of the fox itself.

“I did not expect the deterioration to be this far along, this might get interesting.” It was the voice of an old man, of Atohi’s master. He was the reason Atohi and Yasuo went to capture the boy, why did he have to find them. His intentions for the demons were shrouded in shadows, Atohi wanted to buy more time, but how?

“Master, let me fight this battle alone.” There was no answer, the equivalent of a yes to Atohi’s ears. I may have one chance to save you, please let me win this battle. Atohi jumped toward the ninja at lightning speed, his fist connected to the boy’s face. It sent the jinchuuriki flying into the sky, and that was Atohi’s domain. Wings of fire shot from his back and lifted him into the air.

He flew toward the boy, fast enough to see nothing but a blur and a red speck quickly become demonic, fox shaped chakra. Atohi punched again but this time the boy caught it, he kicked but the chakra deflected it. “I’m trying to save you.” But the boy was beyond reason. He shot a red hand of chakra at Atohi’s face, then spun Atohi and threw him at the ground. It hit hard, the earth cratered under the impact and Atohi could feel his ribs breaking. He tried to stand but there was no use, the demon boy slammed him against the ground.

Blood poured down his face and into his eyes as the boy lifted him by his hair. Naruto, the shell for the Kyuubi, was now consumed by the demon. His power was beyond even the Heavenly Four’s expectations. He threw Atohi by the hair into the air, then jumped up and kicked his back. The kick barely missed the spine and a possibly fatal blow, but it still made blood shoot out of Atohi's mouth.

Atohi was beginning to feel light headed, he landed on the ground and rolled until he was stopped abruptly by a large boulder. He watched ahead of him towards the clearing of trees as the trees fell to the ground one by one. He was coming. Atohi shook his head, what a rush. He hadn’t fought an opponent of this calibur in years, a sadistic smile crept across his face.

“Demon boy, I’m tired of playing around. I think it’s time I introduced you to my inner demon.” The boy was unaffected by the words, but it was no bluff, it was time to see a clash of titans. “Que-sama, I give myself to you.” the demonic chakra tried to fly at him again, but this time was stopped by Atohi’s fiery wing. Atohi was faster than thought, he was no longer a man, but a god. He was behind Naruto before even the Kyuubi could see his movement, he rested his hand on the boys back and created an explosion of scorching chakra. The blast sent trees flying in every direction, the closest of them were thoroughly engulfed in red flame.

Even with three of the nine tails visible, Naruto was no match for the explosive fire of the god of the south, the vermillion bird, Zhu Que. Naruto was unconscious, his power trapped inside of him, dormant until it could run rampant another day. And Atohi was a broken warrior, he tried to move but the pain in his ribs caused him to cough blood onto the ground.

“Thank you my student. You have done well against the Kyuubi. But I do not commend you for sustaining such injuries. Rest and I shall take your prize, you are truly a benefit to the Heavenly four.” His master spoke words of poison. He had followed the battle this far and was in perfect shape to take care of the demon boy. His master walked off, his golden clothing gliting in the sun, mocking Atohi with it’s beauty. Atohi failed, he hadn’t gotten the boy away from his master.

“Don’t worry my love, I will heal you and we’ll save the boy. If he needs saving that is.” She spoke to him as the golden clad Zheng He walked out of ear shot, but Atohi wasn’t in a talkative mood and didn‘t answer her. He let his eyes close and let a mixture of his exaustion and his wounds push him into a deep slumber.

* * *

Hinata was laughing, the very exaggerated story of how Yasuo single handedly invented curry was just as funny as his wild facial expressions and odd movements of emphasis from his arms. Overall, she really liked the man, even though she was recently trying to kill him.

She originally tried to jump at him and fight tooth and nail with the man, but he calmly and effortlessly trapped her inside a sphere of ice. He allowed her clothing, of course, for he was a gentleman, but didn’t let her out until she was no longer angry. As she sat inside her little prison, he told her many tales of the Heavenly Four, a group destined to save the world. She didn’t believe a word of it, it seemed like a childish idea for a group of super heroes, but soon realized his power when he released the god of the north, a giant black tortoise, from a black shell shaped shield that he carried on his back.

He let her out under the condition that she be civil and listen to reason instead of fight him to the death, and also insisted that it would be just as easy to trap her as it was the first time so struggling would only lead to her being trapped inside a cold ice ball for even more time until she was ready to have an adult conversation. So there they were, walking in the forest, talking about how he invented curry.

Finally Yasuo sat down next to the lake, splashed water into his face and smiled. He sat for a while, not saying a word, seemingly thinking of something a thousand miles away. “This is the destination of our walk, I’m afraid that my stories must come to an end. I have something very important to tell you, if you’re ready to hear it.” She sat down next to him, nodding her consent when she was comfortably settled.

“We of the Heavenly Four are on a mission, unfortunately, your lover is the target.” She tried not to get angry as he reminded her of what the two ninja had just taken from her. “Atohi and I are actually conspiring against our leader, as we are not convinced that his intentions are exactly what he tells us. Atohi can better deal with your friend, while our chakra seems to be compatible as well. And that is another reason for my coming here, but I‘ll explain in a moment.

“Naruto is a jinchuuriki, I’m sure that with your eyes, you have seen an odd, red energy come from within him. That is the energy of the Kyuubi.” Hinata’s eyes were wide, it made an odd sort of sense but she would have never thought her beloved Naruto had anything to do with the demon. “I’m afraid that is the reason for the attention we’ve been giving him, but though my master says he wishes to purify the demon I fear there is more to his words than meet the eye. That is why Atohi is rescuing Naruto now, our master is on his way.”

She was still taken aback from all that she was hearing, but nodded for him to continue. “Once he realizes that the Jinchuuriki has left, he will have no reason to discover this place, and you will be safe. But I believe that fate has thrown you into this battle for a reason, that is why I intend to find something out about you. Do you still have the snowflake?”

“From the dream, I only remember touching it and being enveloped in a white light.” He looked at her silently for a few moments, studying her, then continued.

“Then you are the one. You are destined to control water better than any ninja technique can teach you, to create unbreakable kunai from ice, to fight with the soul of the water itself. You are my replacement.”

[Losila']

I liked it. Why did he have to interupt them, lol. Well you are right about something always going wrong, i just had a prome example of it, i was with my boy friend and then we started kissing when another girl walks out of his bedroom. I dumpped hiom right there. It was really good, you are a fantastic writer. Keep it up.

[LenKun]

....brant you cut me to the core..... new chapter .... NOW

[7th Sword Man of the Mist]

Very very good 30000000/10

[Triggerhappy69]

Wow, you're right, it does get kinda weird. But even so, RRRRRRRRR, ATOHI, YOU COCKBLOCK!!!!!

[chishio-kun]

Thanx for the ponits!

[Naruka]

ah I was looking forward to Hinata and naruto getting it on stupid atohi. but hey it's still an awsome story so what was that snowflake thing and what are they planning to do too Naruto?

[Galgum]

All these stories... so awesome.. and now yours. Great f-ing job man, I look foward to the next installment. =)

[chishio-kun]

Hmm, but....... your story........

Knowing that Gaara is Kazekage and still has "one-tails" with him in the story, this happened before the latest chapter, somewhere after Naruto's return to Konoha after the time-skip, right? Or are you skipping ahead of the Manga and making conclusions, that Gaara will get his Bijuu back? I am not against your story, Brant Kogasu. I admire your brilliant skills, its just that my curiosity is strong on these matters. Just like what Corlock said,

Brent, how far are you into the manga? Although since you've gotten to the whole elemental chakra thing, you've gotta be past the Gaara arc. Anyway, see below.

The reason I ask, is because I'm having trouble placing this in the time line. See, when you included Gaara and said he still had his demon, I assumed it was pre-time skip. But you've put it post-time skip. I'm having a little trouble placing it, because almost immediately after returning post-time skip, Naruto is sent on a mission to rescue Gaara. While Gaara does survive, his demon has been extracted. Meaning he no longer has it, or at least, that is what we're led to believe from the manga. Considering how this happens almost immediately after the time skip, I'm having trouble seeing how this is post-time skip and Gaara is still in possession of his demon.

Now, it could be we'll eventually find out that Gaara still has his demon, so who knows. And of course, even if he didn't have it any longer, I don't think your Heavenly Four would care, as Gaara would still need to pay for his crimes in their minds. It's just I don't know that Gaara would reference the demon still being inside him. He might still consider his past actions demonic, and feel that there is a demon inside him. Just not the one that had been sealed there. As I said, I'm just not sure exactly how this fits in the time line is all.

[Tanaka Ichiro]

Dude, ur writing skills are amazing. only thing that i see wrong is an extremely few amount of spelling errors, but nothing to freak out about. now if only naruto could see that in the series id be even happier. keep up the good work. new chapter please :D