Monogamy: when did it become the norm?

[Misha]

I've been reading the odyssey, and it got me thinking.
When did polygamy stop being acceptable to the general public, and why?
Back then, men would have children with countless women, and no one seemed to really object.
I suppose as long as you loved your wife, it wasn't that huge a deal.
Just not really sure when that view stopped.

[shiki-fuujin]

I've been reading the odyssey, and it got me thinking.
When did polygamy stop being acceptable to the general public, and why?
Back then, men would have children with countless women, and no one seemed to really object.
I suppose as long as you loved your wife, it wasn't that huge a deal.
Just not really sure when that view stopped.

because as humans we are jealous beings,which in turn messes up our judgment and lead to irrational behaviors.(you finish the story).

[masamune1]

I've been reading the odyssey, and it got me thinking.
When did polygamy stop being acceptable to the general public, and why?
Back then, men would have children with countless women, and no one seemed to really object.
I suppose as long as you loved your wife, it wasn't that huge a deal.
Just not really sure when that view stopped.

Monogamy is the norm in The Odyssey- it is, after all, all about a man trying to get home to his wife, and ends wth him murdering all the suitors after her hand because everyone thought he was dead.

The fact that a man like Odysseus might have lots of other women on the side is more to do with the fact that he was a) a man and b) a king. If you think his wife would have been allowed to see other men, just look at what happened to the guys who thought she was a widower.

It was the same in Rome. Men (more specifically, Patricians- Upper-Class men) having affairs left, right and centre was the norm, and with each others wives no less. If he was caught, that was a slap on the wrist. When she was caught, mandatory divorce- by law.

Monogamy is a fairly old concept- it's just that in practice it applied to women more than to men, and to a lesser extent the rich folk more than to the poor (the poor were less likely to have/ afford prostitutes, concubines etc.). In practice historically men having more than one wife is much, much more common than women having more than one husband, though it does happen in some cultures.

So Monogamy is quite old, it just usually favoured teh man over the woman.

[Fuzzly]

Evidence points to humans being a mix of monogamous and oppurtunistically cheaters, like birds.

In some parts of Africa polygamy is still the norm. I've also spent time with a matrilinialI wouldn't be surprised if multiple marriage systems rose and fell multiple times long before the human species started recording it.

[Teren_Kanan]

What the above posters mentioned, basically.

Humans are not monogamous by nature. And Polygamy has favored men throughout time because men are stronger, and can impose their will more freely, allowing them to be hypocritical and quench their lust and jealousy at the same time.

Many males are inflicted with Penis Envy, even if they are hung like a zoo animal. The thought that another man might be better in bed than them drives them insane with jealousy.

I find it weird though. The thought of my girlfriend being as emotionally attached to another male as she is to me, would drive me insane, I don't think I could handle it. However the thought of my girlfriend sleeping with another man doesn't.

If my girlfriend were to.. say, visit a male prostitute (provided, a clean one free of STD's), I don't think I would have a problem with it, so long as it did not change the nature of our sexual endeavors. Most women I have slept with have slept with other men before, they enjoyed sex with those other men, and they enjoy sex with me, so I'm not jealous of the sexual aspect of it.

In Japan it's considered perfectly acceptable to cheat on your partner, so long as it is paid for and emotions are not involved. This doesn't mean people don't get upset or jealous about it, it's just not a social taboo.

[oléhonchô]

Depends from where you derive your social identification.

Far East - varying stances on marriage. Monogamy was accepted, so was being married to one wife and having one or more mistresses (China, Japan, Mongolia, SE Asia).
- Certain parts of Mongolia (and Tibet) (still) have a different form of polygamy in which brothers will actually share a wife (2 or 3 men and one woman). This owing to the fact that one brother would be needed with the flocks and the others could stay home and farm/etc.

The Middle East - Once again varying traditions. Polygamy still accepted in many areas today. The Judeo-Christian tradition typically separates itself from Polygamy in the post-Solomon era. Owing the the notion that David's and Solomon's many wives led the kingdom astray, from the proper course of obedience to the Lord, they kind of went with the one wife approach. This then migrated to Europe.

Europe - The idea behind most of the pre-christian Europeans having monogamy stems from the issue of legitimacy. With multiple wives, which has the greatest claim, and which child is to be preferred? Do you have one favorite wife, but your favorite child is from another one? Issues arise here which aren't as important in the Asian circles (as most Asian traditions have a more complex naming system where the mother's name could be passed onto the child instead of the father's). So just one wife became the norm in Europe.

That's roughly the nutshell from what I recall from my Anthropology class.

[NarutardKK]

Why don't you ask those cultish mormons in colorado city?

I would not say that we are monogamous, it is more like we should be, or are expected to be monogamous. But so many people cheat on their spouses it almost seems to be a mockery of marriage.

[Fuzzly]

Olehoncho, I'd argue that in Europe monogamy (and therefore a value of virginity) developed because of the plow. In much of Africa,the soil isn't suitable for the plow, and has to be hoed by hand. This means that the labor has to be done by multiple people, so children and women work the fields.

I'm gonna make a long story short. In Africa it's traditionally been better to have large families. In Europe, the use of the plow allowed a much larger amount of work to be done by a lot less people. This was hugely efficient, and allowed for the storing of wealth. Now, it's worth it for land to be held individually, since only the man has to work it, and he's limited by the land he can hold for himself, not the amount of people needed to work the land.

Now small families are best, because if the man has a lot of children, it's wasteful. He just needs a son to inherit. If he has a daughter, he has to PAY a husband to marry her! In Africa the reverse is often true.


Of course when I say "Africa" I am generalizing a lot. Africa has a lot of different types of societies, but the polygamous patriarchal is very common.

[Tokoyami]

it is more like we should be, or are expected to be monogamous.Should be?

How does this make sense from an evolutionary standpoint?

[Fuzzly]

Should be?

How does this make sense from an evolutionary standpoint?

It makes sense from the male's perspective. It distributes the resources (of mates) more evenly among males. Which means, among many, many other things, that competition for mates becomes less. So Joe schmoe like you or me actually has a chance at getting a reasonably attractive (or healthy, whatever attribute you wanna put in here), or one at least close to our level, instead of Brad Pitt having a huge harem.


It's a strategy that has it's pros/cons like any other.

[Bryan Paulsen]

Many males are inflicted with Penis Envy, even if they are hung like a zoo animal. The thought that another man might be better in bed than them drives them insane with jealousy.

Men don't like being inferior to other men in any category, not just performance in the sack.

[DideeKawaii]

Monogamy, is prefered in many societies, because it promotes competition. Like it or not, the main premises of our lives, revolve around you, finding someone else to reproduce with.
This is our primary goal in life, and it will remain this way untill we find a way to procreate more efficiently, which would not surprise me at all.

Competition, got us dwelling for the best. It makes us want to achieve the best. It makes society evolve faster. Polygamist societies are often, abit less advanced, of course its not always the case, but it is often true.

Note that, ultimately it is not wrong, but it can be dangerous. There's a possibility of propaging too many of the same genes in a small radius, therefore damaging the health of the population, ultimately.

But, with the divorce rate, skyrocketing in the west, i wouldnt call it strictly monogamist society.

[Shinobi Mugen]

Around the same time as hypocrisy...

[rawrawraw]

If your wife is ok with it. I think it's as simple as that. In today's society, monogamy is really common and people get found out often and if it's some kind of politician, everyone's going to be like: :wth blasphemy!!!, but shit it's there and it'll always be there.

[Shinigami Perv]

It's from Rome; they did not accept polygamy, and then the Roman sensibilities became attached to Christianity, and the rest is history.

Rome had projected much of its moral beliefs through Christianity. It's scary to realize how Roman our world has become.

Personally, I think anyone should be able to marry anyone they want. Polyandry, polygyny, whatever. None of my business, but the gov thought differently. The US almost sent the US military after the Utah residents to quell their polygamous marriage arrangements, and they wilted and conceded. That was the end of polygamy in the US.

[breakbeat oratory]

It comes down to personal decision.

Some couples are fine with a sexually open relationship.