The Loss Of A Family Member...

[Luffy2692]

today, i lost a very important person to me. my grandfather passed away after 5 days of intensive care. i myself felt that i should stay at home instead of see him in such a terrible state. ill be honest with you. im not really however old my profile says, im 13. i only tell you this so that youll understand my situation better. if the moderators really feel they must, they can kick me from any 18+ threads ive subscribed to... anyway, my grandfather had lung cancer. he doesnt smoke, only when he was in WWII and they basically supplied you with tobacco. in his old age he hated smoking. he was perhaps one of the greatest men ive ever met. over the past couple of years, he had been losing his ability to speak. he would begin to stutter and would sometimes shake his head when he meant "yes" or vice versa. until about 2 1/2 months ago, we didnt know anything this serious was wrong with him. we were told that he might only have a year left. we all felt that it was our job (my family and i) to make his life wonderful until that time. we visited on a regular basis, we bought him a grill that he had been eying. we tried to use it for him at any occasion we could. eventually the illness began to rear its head. we decided that we all had to do whatever we thought would make him happy, if atleast for a little while. this included buying him a big TV screen so he could watch the braves. he didnt get to enjoy it very long because a few weeks later, he had to be taken into intensive care. he was hooked up to an oxygen mask and was unable to talk. all of my aunts, cousins and direct family stayed with him day after day for 5 days. no one was going to let him leave with regretting a thing. today, august 11, 2005, was his last day. my mother walked into the room and was going to talk to him because she noticed he seemed very active. his eyes were searching, his lips were moving, very unusual for his condition. after a while, she noticed he wasnt talking to her, but to what she believed was someone to take him into the next life... shortly after, his heart beat began to die away, and with one last breath,
Roy Lee Sellers JR died. i guess you can say that even sixty-something years later, i lost my grandfather to the war.

now people, i honestly dont want to hear any criticism for any beliefs or opinions ive said about religion or beliefs. thats not why i made this thread. i made it to share the pain with someone willing to share it. please, dont respond if its negative. if anyone cares enough about my story, then i will gladly tell of the aftermath that my family and i have faced and the strong relationships between some of us. thank you.

[The 21st Hokage]

Man Luffy Im sorry to hear that truly I am if your looking for someone to talk to in order to help ease your mind off the pain of this feel free to PM me or Catch me on AIM i'll be there for ya man. Just keep your head up. I lost my Grandmother not too long ago as well.

[Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla]

I was 11 when I lost my grandpa. It hurts me now. But I got over it in my own way. To this day I want to be just like him. So the only way I can fill good inside is if I do the things he did or the way he would. Sorry to hear that man.

[Luffy2692]

thanks guys. i really do appreciate the support. it makes me feel better to think that if all that i believe in is true, that ill see him again and that he'll never be in pain. honestly, i dont have a doubt in my mind that that this isnt the last time ill see him.

[Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla]

In my case I fill good about it, because everyone say I'm the copy of my grandad. Due to our skin being dark and we always have people around me.

[Keele]

a couple of days ago my auntie was told she had breat cancer and i have just emirgrated to australia so i now we feel totally helpless and afraid that she will die

also my nan and grandad have also passed away a few years ago so i now how you feel i was also very close to my grandad but you can get few it give it a month or so and the greiving will stop and just remember what a great man he was

[The 21st Hokage]

thanks guys. i really do appreciate the support. it makes me feel better to think that if all that i believe in is true, that ill see him again and that he'll never be in pain. honestly, i dont have a doubt in my mind that that this isnt the last time ill see him.
Yeah trust me you'll see him again we'll see all of our realtives if we believe in them after all until you do see him again he's still alive as a part of you in terms of all of the memories you had with him.

[Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla]

Either that or get a tattoo like I will soon. I was thinking of getting a picture of my grandpa on my neck or inner arm

[Luffy2692]

my mom is so devestated right now. its even harder for her because shes the only catholic of her 3 protestant sisters and her protestant mother. this makes it really hard to have a funeral. she says she feels ignored and that what she says doesnt matter. i keep telling her that everyone else is just having a hard time too and arent thinking clearly. i know this is no excuse but its true. anyway, i feel the worst for my grandma... she has no real friends to rely on because she did everything with my grandpa. every photograph, they were together. shes never been without him. today, my cousins and aunts all met and my grandma's house and it was really hard acting like nothing was happening in order to avoid someone getting upset. it was even harder to sit and talk so casually about the funeral. my grandma asked me if i wanted to be pallbearer and i said i would be honored. she may not have looked sad, but in her eyes, she was crying. it was so upsetting. through the whole thing, my mom never once thought of her own good, but for my grandpa's. she showed it by saying that she didnt want him to hold on for her. that she knew it was time for him to go and she knew that hed be in a better place. she said that she sure was going to miss him, as opposed to "please dont go." i dunno. i just found that very admirable.

[Jam]

Having a loss in the family is really hard at first especially when it's someone you're close to. It gets easier after a while. You just can't dwell on it too much.

My grandma died when I was around 11. It didn't bother me too much at first since I was young, but I really miss her now. From when I was 12-14 I had 2 first cousins die from the same type of cancer (twins, 12 years old) another first cousin died from drug overdose (28 years old) and an uncle due to alchohol abuse (45 years old). I also have a grandpa in the hospital whose days are numbered.

Just don't worry about it too much. If you think about it a lot, it'll get worse. Believe me, everything gets better eventually. Good luck with it <3

[Luffy2692]

wow. if it werent such a personal thing, i could say ive got nothing on you. im sorry for all your loses. that goes to everyone.

[Nazareth]

Yea, I can relate. My grandpa died of lung cancer, my grandma died of lung cancer, my other grandpa died in a plane crash, my brother died at birth, my God father died in a crash, an intern at the church I was getting to know died in a car accident, and one of my best friends died just a few months ago from a ski accident. I know from personal experience its best just to try and get back into your normal day to day life, no matter how hard it is. Also if you ever need to talk, cry, whatever, dont hold it in, its important to talk and let people know how you feel. As for the protestant catholic thing, dont worry about it. If it really becomes that big of a deal ask them what your grandpa would want and let them figure it out from there. His funeral should be about what he wanted, not what your aunts or moms want.

[Kakashi the A-Unit Hustla]

It is kinda num for me. I had a few deaths....

1- aids (due to parents)
7- murdered
2- age
4- health
1- accident
2- Suicide

so, I know how death goes. I only been to 6 of those funnerals. Thats the best time to cry. I cried like a baby when my grandpa/cousin Cory/my boy Merk die. But, the wake might push you to the edge.

[The 21st Hokage]

Yea, I can relate. My grandpa died of lung cancer, my grandma died of lung cancer, my other grandpa died in a plane crash, my brother died at birth, my God father died in a crash, an intern at the church I was getting to know died in a car accident, and one of my best friends died just a few months ago from a ski accident. I know from personal experience its best just to try and get back into your normal day to day life, no matter how hard it is. Also if you ever need to talk, cry, whatever, dont hold it in, its important to talk and let people know how you feel. As for the protestant catholic thing, dont worry about it. If it really becomes that big of a deal ask them what your grandpa would want and let them figure it out from there. His funeral should be about what he wanted, not what your aunts or moms want.
Dammn and I thought I had it bad my prayers go out to you period.:sad

[Chamcham Trigger]

I know how it is to lose close family members. I wish I could help you console, but I never really connected with my gradfathers myself. My mother's grandfather died when I was young, and he lived in haita, my father's grandfather died but he was a deadbeat dad.

I feel the best way to deal with the gried is to talk with family and friends (on aim or near you). the more you remenise about him, the warmer you'll feel inside. It's worked for me with others and I really hope it'll work for you. Keep your head up like 21st said, and you'll remember that he lives on in you (both physically and spiritually, if you're willing to look at the spiritual aspect).

[lekki]

Sorry for your loss man.
He's no longer suffering and that's a definite. Try to remember the good things and the funny things, it helps alot. Atleast it helped me when one of my grandmas died.

[rokkudaime]

i only have one granny left and i have lost a brother due to premature child birth. i know how you must feel. my condolences

[Luffy2692]

thank you, everyone here. i never expected to get this many responses to a personal thread on a naruto forum. i'll take your advice to heart and i know i'll get through this fine. life goees on. nothing in my day to day cycle has changed. only my thoughts have. its hard to say that and may seem a little cold, but honestly, its true. its hard to think that way because i sure do miss im already... anyway, thanks again everyone.

[Kucheeky Badkuya]

Well, I lost one of my grandpa's on my grandma's birth and the same grandma died are my grandfather's birthday.

MY other grandparents died around April Fool's Day, how sad.

MY cousin-in law commited suicide a day after my birthday, never met him too.

[vitruvianwoman]

really sorry to hear that :-/

my grandma died a couple of weeks ago, and that was the first time i'd lost a grandparent. she'd been sick for a long time with respiratory stuff, mostly, and she died a couple days after they put her in hospice...

it's really hard, i know where you're coming from.

hope you feel better

[EDhg]

I'm sorry man... My grandfather was told couple days ago he has cancer in his larynx. He doesn't smoke but he tends to drink. He is so stubborn he doesn't want to get surgery even to save his life! I feel angry at him, but I should know better. He was in the military as a general and even got to meet Neil Armstrong, and got him and his crew to sign an authentic picture of Neil on the moon. (If they really landed on the moon..)
I want to make him proud and join the military as well, but I fear he won't be around until I'm 18.. But overall I'm more closer to my grandmother, if she died.. I would rip apart inside since she always supported me in everything I did. I think she is a more mother to me than my own mother. Any ways.. This feeling of waiting for someone to die isn't pleasant at all...

[Luffy2692]

i guess i can say that im glad its over and theres no more anticipation. i never really knew my grandmother on my other side. i was only 5 or 6 when she died.

[Miss CCV]

I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences go to you and your family...

What a coincidence that this topic pops up because tomorrow will be the 10-year anniversary of my grandma's passing. My family and I are throwing a family party for it.

I remember when I was younger, my grandma used to babysit my cousins and I. She was really nice, but at times she would be strict. She was there for me for the majority of my childhood though, so she was a crucial person in my life. R.I.P to her...

[i_MZCANDY]

i`m sry to hear that .. i lost my grandpa too just last year in march. he was in a coma in the hospital 3 - 5 days and died ..

[Nazareth]

Another thing I forgot to mention, the greiving process. There is no wrong way to grieve, remember that. Just do what you have to do. Handling death is hardest in the first year or so. After that its easier to remember the good times, which is best to do. Talk to your mom or anyone that knew him about good times you had with him. That always makes things feel better.

[azn_sephiroth]

Well i can see how you feel since i was only 9 when i lost my favourite cousin.

BTW: He was only 17....

[thewinterknight]

My deepest Sympathy, my grandma died last Mon. She was buried today, and I wrote a quicke saying how I feel about her, I'll post it later if you want to. You just have to keep your chin up and remember the good stuff and keep it close to your heart and make it into your strength not your weakness.

PS I know you're 13 but please try to keep your I big since it can get confusing reading your posts if there's no markstone.

[Swizzy]

im sorry for ur loss, i know the pain of it, my father died when i was 10, im still feeling the effects 7 yearz later, not having ur father around to talk with, share ur accomplishmentz with u, LEARN HOW TO SHAVE i had to do that on my own, also all my grandparentz have died before i was 16, and my uncle, unusal thing was, i didnt cry at any funeral, only after did i cry to get rid of the grief, tho i cried when my dog died, she was 16, i had know her longer than my father and grandparentz and uncle, i grew up with my dog,
but to keep tha memory of my father im going to get the same tattoo on my arm as he had

[hjkou]

i lost 2 grandfathers this year, i guess i know what your feeling..
even though i dont know you, or any of your relatives at all.. i still think its necessary to give my condolences to you through the net :\

so yeah.. not much else to say, my condolences, RIP.
dont know how long ago this happened to you, but my loss didnt actually hit me until a few days later when i actually thought about the situation

[mgrace]

I was the same age as you when I lost my grandfather and I was very close to him.. His favourite because I was the oldest grandson... I'm 26 now and sometimes when my dad and I talk about him and the great things he did for others tears come to my eyes.... Even more now as a Christian and My grandfather being Agnostic...

Death is Sad and it takes time to heal......

[Nihao]

I'm in my twenties and lost my grandfather 3 years ago. He was a wonderful man and we all loved him very much.
It doesn't really matter how old you are, because losing someone that you love is always painful. I've lost many people in my life, friends and familie alike, and no matter how many years pass, when I think of them, or talk about them I always end up crying. Why ? Because I miss them, and there is nothing that can take that feeling away.

What I'm trying to say is, there is nothing shameful in missing someone, or crying about someone that you've lost. Even if many years have passed. We're all just human, so take all the time you need.
My heart goes out to you and your family.

[Konohamarukun]

Aww, I'm really sorry about the loss. I lost my uncle not too long ago. :(

[Luffy2692]

saturday was the funeral. i was a pallbearer, and it was beautiful. it all worked out and everyone was touched. my grandmother, whom i feel for the most, didnt cry. she only smiled with tears in her eyes

[Ultimate_Idiot]

My grandma died when I was three. I never met her husband.And that was the filipino side. Not too long ago, my other grandpa was diagnost with cancer. My cat died when I was six. And I'm [kind of] fine now.

[Ichitootah]

I stopped crying at the death of family members years ago. I don't really know why, maybe I'm just heartless or something. There wasn't even very much grief on my part, I guess I just don't see death as such a sad thing; even though I'm not religious I can kind of see it as moving on.

Luckily, however, I have yet to experience the death of someone in my immediate family... Maybe my standpoint above will change when I do.

[Yavanna]

my grandfather died of a heart attack before i was born and my father passed away from cancer when i was 6. my father died on his fathers (my granfather) birthday. the hardest part for me was to see the health of my father dwindle until the end when he died at the age of 36. i am truely sorry for your loss and i want you to know that life will get better with time.

[Vince Johnson]

I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you and your family well.

[Max Power]

hahahaha he died and u lie about your age

[NinjaJedi007]

All of my grandparents are dead now. I never got the chance to meet or even see any of my grandfathers at all. I always wondered what they were like but that was all I could ever do. My aunt died too which is pretty crazy... she wan't even that old. Life sure is strange.

[Tsukiyomi]

My aunt died this morning of a brain anuerysm, she was brain dead for a day then passed away.

So I know what you're going through.

[Kashama]

Deepest care. Hope you get over this, it seems you guys had a good connection.

[Sniper]

Sorry to hear that. Its always painful to loose a family member. But to be honest, you shouldnt post in here. It wont help. You get comments like "Sorry" or "my bro died a year ago"

Its better to share this with friends and family friends.

[Haruka]

Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth. But you, have unmatchable courage to face the truth. I admire you dearly.
It's a shame that he was taken away before veteran's day.

[Luffy2692]

thank you haruka. im starting to get over all of this, but now, a new problem arises. my sister lost her home in the katrina business. her home itself was fine, but the future of her life in new orleans wasnt. she now lives with my grandmother in alabama, much closer to me and my family now. anyway, just one more thing to say...

[Muffin_]

I contemplated posting this for a very long time...


I don’t usually speak about this and I never have in person but I guess if my suffering could lessen another’s... I’m sorry if it is graphic but death is never pretty. (I edited)

When I was 15 years old I watched my father die. The worse thing was that I had a fight with him in morning and my way of “fighting” was to ignore people. So I didn’t say a word to him that day. When I found him that night, I could not say anything for what seemed like forever, I think I managed out a few “daddy’s, breathe” eventually. The horrid sight of his death was something I would never wish upon anyone. Rushing to the hospital in a neighbors car I was thinking that “everything would be okay, dad is always okay, no matter what, right?” I sat in the private waiting room with my mother until the doctor final came out and told us to say our ast goodbyes. My mother screamed and I looked at the doctor and asked him if there was nothing else he could do, I can’t imagine the look on my face because of the way he looked at me and rushed back in the room... When he came back out he told us he was gone. I went into the room and this man could not have been my father, hospital gown, bluish pale, it was all wrong. I cried and told him I was sorry for being such a terrible daughter, such a bad person, that I loved him, I was just plain sorry, I promised I would do something amazing for him, make such a good life. I held his cold sweaty hand and forehead and felt the last warmth leave from him. I kissed his cold forehead and stroked is black course hair, a few hairs had fallen out on the white pillow. Then I cried more. I didn’t cry at all at the wake or funeral, everyone was saying crap like “you’re so strong” The pain I feel in my heart, when I wondered how can my father dance with me at my sweet sixteen, who going to walk me down the isle, and the nights I still cry, I am anything but strong. I still wish I would have said anything to him that day, a “hello” a “I love you daddy” anything. I am still so incredibly sad, I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t even want to breathe sometimes but I promised him. I have to live, if not for me then for him.

You can’t stop life, just like you can’t stop time. There is no backwards, only forwards. It has only been a little over a year but it does get better, I promise.

[Jef88]

luffy and others so sorry about youre losses :glomp
i know what you feal
i had the same with my grandmother
she had a stroke and i was the only one that didnt visited her
and i kinda feal guilty for it but my father told me she didnt look that good any more
and it would be better to remember her the way i knew her
she was very close to me
the pain is she was burried the day befor my birthday and everybody for got
i allso lost my grandfather too
i miss them both so much :sad
i allready lost so many people that are (still) close to me

[earthshine]

that sucks, thats how both my grandparets went. sorry for your loss

[寫輪眼]

atleast you got chance to talk to your granfather,both my grandfather wasn't there before i was born, i only seen their pictures

[Max Power]

Tell all of your relatives to STOP DYING!
Its very annoying!
So just shut up and get over it.
AHHH!!!!! u people drive me crazy with your constant complaining
oh no my grandma's dead boo hoo

[Valdens]

thank you maz power! you are all stupid whimps >.> death is a part of life! get over it!!!! >=(

[Jink]

ah man very sorry to hear that, I know how you feel, about 2 years ago my cousin committed suicide with a shotgun to the mouth. I met him only once, he was my dads nephew, my dad came from slovakia, and thats where all his family lives now, his nephew came here one summer and stayed the whole three months. He loved this country so when he was gonna finish high school he was going to come to america and live here. The problem is when that happened the goverment wouldn't let him, I don't know the whole stpry but thats what I was told. He was very depressed about it, and other things we're happening in his life, then a few years after he was denied to come here he commited suicide. It was a very sad day for my family, and my dad cared for him like he was a son to him. My dad was really depressed for the next two days. Then he went down to slovakia a year later to visit his grave. I still to this day don't know the whole story, but I'm to scared to ask.

The sad thing about my grandpa is I never even got to meet him, He died before I was even born, just my grandma on my moms side remains. The weird thing is my mom or grandma never spoke of my grandpa, and I dont know why. I'd like to know about him, but again I dont like to see my family members cry.

*side not for anyone who cares*
moms side - Polish
dads side - slovak
grandma(moms side) cant speak english, just a few words
my slovak grandparents can't speak english either, they( and the rest of my dads family) lived in slovakia for their whole lives

[Muffin_]

I'm sorry to hear that man. I always wish I knew more about people before they passed. Everyone always has something to offer and I wish we all had more time to learn and appreciate others.

[Kurairu]

I've lost my grandfather, my Great Grandmother, and my great Aunt in the last five years. Sure, it's hard, but you've just got to look past it. I'll tell you what My older brother told me, suck it up and give it a while, you might not feel totally fine, but you will feel better.

[Luffy2692]

man, im sorry for all of you guys. listening to all of this makes you realize that life really does just go on. never stops, never slows down for you to catch up. no slack at all. anyway, im getting tired of you guys (valdens, max power) so please stop posting if you cant follow the instructions on the first post

[Cæk]

lost three of my grandparents in the last two years, my 20 year old cousin two years ago 2 aunts in india, and a smaller cousin.
hhate it so much its worse coz it all happned like within the past 3 years

[Quoll]

I feel for everone here. I lost my paternal grandfather and one of my uncles on that side about a month or so before last Thanksgiving, then my maternal grandfather the week before Thanksgiving. About 4 months after I lost another paternal uncle. All those losses helped me realize how strong my family is.

[yummysasuke]

i am so sorry. ive lost both my grandpas, but because i didnt really know my mums dad...it didnt affect me that much, but when my dads dad passed away....i couldnt stop crying for 3 days straight! and each time my dad strikes a conversation with me about my grandpa, i'll just start crying.

[TsunadeChic]

Loss is never easy..... and I'm terrinly sorry that you're going through what you're going through. When you lose someone, you can't ever get that part of yourself back.

On June 5, 1999, I was on a date with my boyfriend. We'd gone through a lot to be together, and I was so happy with him. That night, we were bringing a friend home (no one was drinking, none of us did drugs), and we were in a head on collision that took his life. I miss him every day.

You never "get over" something like this, but eventually the good days outweigh the bad days. It takes a lot of strength and courage to go on- don't lock yourself away, just try to honor their memory the best you know how.

I agree that you should try to talk to people face to face rather than electronically, but we are here for you.

[Luckey]

man, im sorry for all of you guys. listening to all of this makes you realize that life really does just go on. never stops, never slows down for you to catch up. no slack at all. anyway, im getting tired of you guys (valdens, max power) so please stop posting if you cant follow the instructions on the first post
Just because you "laid instructions" doesn't mean people have to follow them. You make it seem as if you're in your own world and how sad YOU are. Who gives a shit. This stuff happens to everyone as you can see from reading. The internet isn't a place to go look for refuge. Sorry if I seem a bit harsh, but you just seem very ignorant.

Everyone here needs to stop saying, "I'm sorry for your loss, etc, etc." Everyone loses someone. I think it's just become a natural response people expect when they look for people to talk to about someone that died. Listen kid, people die. It's just a natural part of life. Either get over it or join him. Once again, the internet isn't the type of place for this.

[Valdens]

ok, people, im sick of this, if anyone here knows the user anime606, then he has been the one posting on my account. i did not, i repeat, i dit NOT do that post. i just changed my password, so things like this wont happen anymore. im really sorry for you people, my grandma died of brain cancer a little more than a year ago. i still miss her. i am not the incommpassionate jerk that that dude posting on my account made me out to be.

[Takuza]

I think Luckey jsut said it all~ thank you and good night

also, vladens I was simply to lazy tos witch out the account names I wasn't trying to make you seem like a jerk.

and finally, that quote is going in my sig.

[Iijyanaika]

i've never known my real parents, and i don't know any of my real family, i was given up when i was a baby, and adopted from korea to america. so those kind of bonds i'm not too familiar with, but i have a freind who had something really bad happen to her parents awhile ago, but she's doing a little better now. the pain of separation is indescirbable when it comes to losing someone you love.

for the people who are being rude to the posters here, you should learn some respect. even if it is some natural response, people are just trying to be kind. i'd love to have the ones who were being negative remember my name, and if you're ever in florida or at a con i'm at, please come up to me, and tell me those exact words that you've said to these people here. since you have the gaul to say it here, it should be no problem in person.

to any of those who have lost someone dear, my condolences.

[Aman]

I'm so sorry... My grandpa died before i even met him. :crying

[tootaa18]

my granfather died 2 years ago and i still can`t get over it.

to think that i could`ve spent more time with him but i didn`t makes me really sad :sad

i`m gonna miss the way he used to hold my little cousins and sing to them.

Rest In Peace Granpa....




and to the rude people who posted here:

you`re just jealous because you don`t have anyone precious in your heart that you can love and care for.

you make fun of people because you will never know the warm feeling of loving someone.

i really feel sorry for you :kukuku

[Kin]

I lost my both parents, I'm now 15 years old, and I live with my grandparents. I lost my dad when I was 4, and my mom when I was 6. But they didn't die. My dad lives in French, and my mom in Belgium. My mother had a bf when I was 6. And then there was a painful time. I was only a ghost, till I was 8 years old, my grandma called my mom asking her or she could watch over me for 1 year. My mom was happy thatshe asked for that. And look now, I'm still with my grandparents. 15 years old, 6 years passed, To me my mom died, even if I see her sometimes. I never knew my dad, I don't wanna know him. I still am a happy person, I look at the good things of life, sometimes I cry cause I don't know why I'm here, jealous at my classmates because they live with their parents. But I always smile, with or without tears. Look at the good things of life. And keep on smiling.

[Hyuuga Fugen]

so sad. It's hard to lose someone important. Sometimes you're just not ready for it. Especially when that person is really close to you.

I know your feeling and I feel sorry for you