Getting Offended

[Omnipotent|Uchiha]

I do not understand why people get offended by anything. The way I look at it, when someone says something you should think like this:

1. If what they say is true then why would you get offended, they are only telling the truth.

2. If what they say is a lie then there is no reason to be offended because its not true so it does not matter what they say.

Maybe my reasoning does not make sense but I have always thought this way.

[Micah]

Your logic is straight forward, but humans don't think and react so logically. Emotions throw a wrench into the equation.

[Omnipotent|Uchiha]

Ill use you as an example.

You said "Your a fag and a failure"

And I know that I am neither so what is the point of getting offended.

[Zhongda]

"Truth" is a conception held by the individual, it's not something out there people can not-deny.

With 1 people can tell you something you consider to be true, which maybe you feel sensitive about, like having a weight problem, bad grades, your sexual orientation - there is bound to be something which you consider to be true and feel insecure about. When some one comes up to you and just drops that subject on you with zero regard to how you may feel about it, you will feel offended, if not, then you have no feelings, and therefore not human.

As for 2, i think what you're doing is blocking out other conceptions of truths. And this happens to be what intolerance is; it is the rejection of a deviation from a standard.

[Zephos]

Ill use you as an example.

You said "Your a fag and a failure"

And I know that I am neither so what is the point of getting offended.

Because of course, your lying to yourself. Deep down I think you know were right. I mean it's not like you have any self-esteem anyway, you know these cool cats (read: not like you) on the e-net know exactly what they're talking about. Pshh, fags and thier self-delusion.

[Unimportant]

Ill use you as an example.

You said "Your a fag and a failure"

And I know that I am neither so what is the point of getting offended.

However, you disagreed with his last point.
He said that you have a terrible name, while you feel that you do not. This disagreement causes offense.

You must consider the "truth" or a "lie" from the standpoint of the other individual as well, which you did not account for.

[Hwon]

(Person's view of how the World is.) <--*inject alternative views* = offended.

[Tokoyami]

I've been whiny a little bitch for 5 minutes now and I am highly offended.

[•Fallacy•]

Pretty straightforward like Micah said. though, multiple perceptions multiple answers so whos to say whos right and whos wrong?

[eD]

If people would just be like that... but no.

Like someone said, emotions gets in your way of thinking.

[Amra]

If its true, people bring offense when they wish it werent true or that it that truth is generally viewed negatively, espessially when that truth is used in a belittling or condecending manner.

example: a homosexual being called "fucking god damned faggot" would likely be offended.

When it is a lie, the offense is generally caused by the social harm or personal impact of the lie, as well as the nature of the lie (white lie, strong lie, abhorant lie)

example: If someone said "Dude, im telling you your wife cheated on you with your best friend!" and he found out it was a lie, he would likely be offended.

[PDQ]

It's more about the intent than the truth value of the claim. We tend to be offended when others speak with the intent to inflame/offend us, not by the words that they say. Hence why people can be offended by curse/swear words that are semantically meaningless but connotatively pejorative.

[PerveeSage]

personally i like to say if they offend me and are right, then they just helped me to better myself by realizing my shortcomings.

and if they are wrong, they have proven their opinion does not matter :zaru

[PDQ]

I think it's clearly different between someone offending me constructively and nonconstructively. If someone says "Go screw yourself", that doesn't really provide any way of self improvement, but if someone says "You're so gullible", it does. Of course, I think practically any constructive offensive could be done nonoffensively. It's just people try to be polite by not mentioning flaws until they're angry, then they let it all out, so constructive criticism tends to coincide with offensive speech.

[Ragormha]

I do not understand why people get offended by anything. The way I look at it, when someone says something you should think like this:

1. If what they say is true then why would you get offended, they are only telling the truth.

2. If what they say is a lie then there is no reason to be offended because its not true so it does not matter what they say.

Maybe my reasoning does not make sense but I have always thought this way.

The problem is that your example only focuses on one person, as soon as there's a single other person it falls apart.

Because if someone says that then it means they have ill intent or honestly believe it and dislike you for it, in both cases it doesn't need to be true to be offensive on some level.

When you bring in more people there's the problem with the social perception of you; what others think, this varies but if you're in a very conservative place then you must defend yourself or risk becoming looked down on and once again there is the matter of intent; if someone says such things it is usually a sign of ill-will which is offensive in itself.

[Basil]

Getting offended depends on the person's point of view.

In your case, when someone tells lies about you to you or to someone else, you said you won't be offended since you know that they're not telling the truth so why bother.

I'll use myself now as an example.

But in MY case, I'll get offended by such actions simply because I abhor liars.

So you see, it really just depends on one's personality.

[???]

There is more to humans than logic. Like emotions.

[zornedge]

I really think it's social status that plays a huge role in being offended. If I told you that you had a stupid name in front of everyone (i.e. this forum), how would you feel? Here are the steps.

1) You would feel compelled to retaliate
2) You will then decide if point #1 is worth it by checking the atmosphere (i.e. social situation)
3) If you feel it's worth it, you will make some time thinking of a retort (usually extraordinarily short)
4) Rinse and repeat these steps for the next offended individual.

Hence, it becomes a battle of wits for domination. That's the whole purpose. Other people want to feel powerful, and respect.

Yes, even these "You insult me, yet you say this... and that.. and this..." are forms of insults, no matter how neutral they sound. They only have the purpose of gaining respect from certain crowds you want to appease.


You're not a fag, however. You're just young.

:zaru

[Tokoyami]

Emotions vs logical thinking.

Occasionaly however someone says something so stupid that you can't help but be offended by it.

[fghj]

You don't know why people prefer not being (verbally) abused to being abused? O_o

[Bleach]

Well, we all don't think logically now do we :zaru

[dreams lie]

Because we have emotions. :oh

[Kieuseru]

The problem with your logic is that people have emotions. Some get upset and angry easier than others, but we all feel these emotions. Whether it's by some random person on the internet insulting you, or if you find out your best friend is insulting you behind your back.

It's not always about the truth in the insult that hurts, but the intent of the person saying it. Like if some random person I don't know calls me gay I wouldn't care, but if a close friend did the same thing I would be offended.

So while you have a good idea, you don't take into account emotions that every human feels.

[AbnormallyNormal]

i tend to agree with the OP. too much credence is given to people claiming such and such a thing is "offensive". the term "offensive" is meaningless, becuase not everyone will be offended by ANYTHING, and its a term that avoids saying WHO is offenDED by the thing. which is the key issue, since then you can work on NOT GETTING SO EASILY OFFENDED to begin with. which is usually an easier solution than banning/destroying whatever is deemed "offensive"

[GrimaH]

I don't have a problem with people getting offended.
I do have an issue with people forgiven for causing all the wars and conflicts in history, just because they "were offended".

[Kagutsuchi]

If someone said that they raped your mother, could you really just leave it be?

[Mizura]

You seem to imply that the consequences of possibly offensive statements are only material without consequences, when in truth opinion and action are often closely linked.

Examples:

The belief that non-whites are racially inferior led to centuries of racial segregation. If during those times a black person were to get called a "Fuckin' nigger," sure he could have just ignored it, but that very opinion led to said black person being mistreated. Countering the belief would have been the only way to change the treatment (and people usually don't fight back unless there is an emotional incentive as well - ie getting offended, quite often).

Even today, opinions such as some races are superior to others (black people are often still treated as inferiors even in developed regions), that women should stay at home and are good for nothing but intercourse, that fat people are good for nothing lazy bums and other such beliefs, have led to real-life environments that are detrimental to the target: difficulty in getting equal working conditions (or getting a job at all), unwarranted suspicion or harassing treatments, etc.

Sure, you could keep calm and point out the logical fallacy in the offender's reasoning, with the result likely being that he wouldn't have changed his opinion at all. Or you could get offended and sue his ass off.

[Einstein]

(Person's view of how the World is.) <--*inject alternative views* = offended.
This is pretty much it. For example, if I felt like my username was awesome, but Hwon told me that it sucked, I'd be pretty tied up about that because other's don't agree with my personal choices. Same goes with being called a bitch or a faggot. Even if you don't feel that you are, the fact that someone could draw that conclusion from somewhere offends you. Why? I don't know. You can tell yourself that your opinion is the only thing that matters until the cows come home, but that doesn't mean you're going to be apathetic to name-calling.

[Dark Aether]

It can't work that way, Humans do not work by logic. If it were a logical exsistence, there would be no strife, love, or anger. When you have emotion, you have to have all of them, not just one.