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Blayze
12-14-2007, 10:38 PM
I suppose explanation is in order. Roughly a year ago, I had my first book, Estra, published. It was a fantasy novel, but I tried to keep things interesting with actual rules for magic, nothing overpowering (Especially not the protagonists, who at that point were fairly weak), and small bits of humour I tried to slot in from time to time.

I'm not rich yet, so I thought I'd try this writing thing again. ;)

I had big plans for Estra. Big, big plans. Plans that involved continuing the stories of the various protagonists (Most of whom were merely secondary characters in the first book), until the end that I had envisaged. Then I had another idea, and then another, until my "Story Ideas" folder looked like a bomb had hit it, it was that disorganised.

Then a little idea came along, that I like to call "Sien", after the character it appears this idea will be about. I needed a world. What a coincidence! I had a world already written. Below, in the Spoiler tags, is my attempt at continuing the story of Estra beyond the end I had previously thought of for it.

The Internet has barely even *heard* of me, so of course you'd have little idea of what it's going on about. I'll see if I can scrounge up some of my scattered notes sometime. For now, however, please enjoy some of the rubbish I find myself typing when I have nothing better to do at work.

---

It began with a calamity.

The University of Magic lay in ruins, the Council as dead as its members. Once the largest home of learning across the land, it was now a crypt. The great libraries within its walls had been plundered, their secrets stolen or destroyed. The corpses of those who studied the magical arts littered the rooms and the corridors. But worst of all, the rift that had been a continuous source of mana for the world... was no more. Those responsible for the slaughter were never found, never brought to justice.

And now, their actions may have damned an entire planet to anarchy.

---
A World Without Magic
Part of the Estra Saga
---

---
The Beginning
---

Whenever a power vacuums appears, there are those who wish to fill it. This is a fact of life, and one that cannon be disputed. Those motivated by greed or ambition are the ones drawn to such a situation more than others. The current situation was no different. Fuelled by grief, rage and a desire for revenge, those who had survived the magical destruction of the merchant city Giji had set out on a mission. Storming the University of Magic, home of the enigmatic and mysterious Council of Magic, they put to the sword everyone who attempted to stop them.

In the inner sanctum of Fiona von Parfu, whose over-exposure to mana at the moment of its introduction to the world had forever altered not only her body, but also that of her unborn son, the remaining survivors of Giji attempted to kill her. As her own son, Zack, better known to fans of the annual Hero Tournament as the Jackal, took her on in a head-on collision of power, his might against her magic, those he had come to know as allies supported him in his struggle.

Silrana, the tracker and ex-agent of Giji's first Thieves Guild, whose impenetrable body and resistance to magic allowed her to easily handle the seemingly endless waves of reinforcements who were attempting to outflank them. Elemi, whose powers of shape-shifting and druidic magic allowed her the flexibility she needed to help keep Fiona on her toes and distracted. And Teganor, whose rediscovery of his memory had brought with it two lives worth of hatred and rage towards the woman who now stood before them.

The four of them stood against Fiona, seeking payment for the crimes that had been committed either by her or in her name, most notably for the immense ball of pure mana with which she had levelled Giji and killed thousands, but also for the way she had manipulated the authorities and criminal groups within the town and played them off against each other, just for the sake of creating and maintaining a black market that could be exploited for monetary gain. She, along with the rest of the group that had called itself the Council, had tried to control the use of magic.

They had taken the law into their own hands and attempted to regulate it. They had started out innocently enough, teaching people to control the new abilities they might otherwise tap into, in order to prevent anybody from coming to harm. Of course, it was only natural that they decided to use this new opportunity to turn a profit. After all, there was no way that they could have passed up a chance like that. At first, only the richest could afford to learn how to use mana.

To begin with, it was viewed as a mere toy, a curiosity. After King Ranfal of Theb accidentally set fire to his court jester, however, word quickly began to spread that this new toy had more practical uses. Rulers and hopefuls alike began to seek this new ability, not only for themselves, but also to augment their military might. Almost overnight, it was no longer considered to be the plaything of the rich, but deemed a useful tool.

As more and more people learned how to use magic, the Council's influence grew and grew, and with it, their wealth increased. Three hundred years later, and the original members of the Council were all long dead... save one. Fiona's over-exposure to mana at the moment it intruded upon the world had indeed caused changes within her body, but it had been several years before she began to notice something strange...

Nothing had changed. Not a single grey hair or wrinkle. Her body, her face, they looked exactly the same as they had done at the very instant the mana had flooded out of the rift. Truly, this was eternal youth at its finest. Had she been a normal person, watching her friends and family die one by one may have upset her somewhat, to think that she would leave behind all those she cared for. But Fiona was no ordinary person... at least, not any more.

Nobody is immune to temptation, but when you're immortal? When your body is eternally at its prime? When you have absolute power at your command? When your wealth is truly a sight to behold? Well, things change. The rules change. It was not immediate, but over time... Over time, her perspective began to change. Things that she had considered so important previously, no longer mattered as much. She could dedicate years of study to a single subject, for example. She had the time, after all.

Around her, the Council changed. New members were initiated as others died, and it did not take long before it was full of unfamiliar faces to her. She was a figurehead of sorts, proof positive of the power of magic, and she grew accustomed to that position. Magic was not a plaything. It was not something to mess around with. When the Mage War erupted and the renegade spellcaster Tiax attempted to bring devastation to the four Aspects of the Elemental School, it had been Fiona who had ultimately laid down the law and reformed the Aspects of that shattered School.

She had personally disbanded the Transmutation Aspect of the Arcane School, removing the hidden cancer that ate away at its inside. She had been the first to see the fatal danger of the Curses Aspect's Wrath spell, ordering it split off into its own Aspect for those who truly wanted to learn how to use it. But for every good, there was at least one bad. The slow process of protecting her own power by making illegal spells that might be used to harm her.

The criminalisation of almost the entire Summoning Aspect. The manipulation of Giji's various factions against one another, just to set up a black market to supply her with illegal goods. And, of course, the utter annihilation of Giji with a massive ball of raw mana. Those who stood against her had personal scores to settle as well, however. They had friends and allies to avenge, people whose deaths were the cause of her actions, either directly or indirectly.

Luja, the ex-thief and illusionist who had fought alongside Elemi and Teganor, and Huin, the cloaked assassin who had together been two parts of a five-man team, back when Teganor knew himself as Janan. Ii, the man who had inflicted upon himself a form of undeath in case of death, and Yatsu, the overweight tracker who had fought against their own employers alongside Silrana. Facnu, the aged soldier and Hanba, the whirling dervish of a warrior, who had joined Zack and the rebellion he helped kick-start. There were countless others, but those six were the ones whose memories inspired the four the most.

Eventually, after a long and arduous battle, Fiona was defeated. She fell before the combined might of the four who dared to oppose her, as an impromptu tactical manoeuvre and a strategic use of a variety of spells led to her being shoved through the rift and into the mysterious and uncharted void that lay beyond. Alas, Zack gave his life to ensure that she stayed there, for it had been he who had supplied the brute strength necessary to keep the wily spellcaster from escaping, throwing himself into the rift along with her.

But such is a story for another time. What is of concern is what happened afterwards.

---
The Aftermath
---

Mere moments after Zack and Fiona had disappeared through the rift, it started shrinking. Slowly, it became smaller and smaller, until it had completely vanished. Nobody knows for sure why or how it happened, although everybody who cares has their theories. Some are inane and stupid. Some are intelligent and well-reasoned. Some are... strange. Whatever the answer to the "how" and the "why", however, nobody can deny that certain events that were to follow are most likely linked to the disappearance of the rift. To understand, however, a basic understanding of mana is required.

---

Blarg, stupid character limit on posts. Can't even get a good ramble going! Will post second half (If the forum allows all of it in a single post) when the hour isn't stupid.

Hakke Rokujuuyonshou
12-15-2007, 03:22 PM
That's pretty intriguing so far. I hope the hour gets smart fast because I would definitely like to see more. I'm especially interested in learning more about this world. If I'm allowed, my only nitpick would be the syntax of some of the sentences. For example:

Luja, the ex-thief and illusionist who had fought alongside Elemi and Teganor, and Huin, the cloaked assassin who had together been two parts of a five-man team, back when Teganor knew himself as Janan. Ii, the man who had inflicted upon himself a form of undeath in case of death, and Yatsu, the overweight tracker who had fought against their own employers alongside Silrana. Facnu, the aged soldier and Hanba, the whirling dervish of a warrior, who had joined Zack and the rebellion he helped kick-start. There were countless others, but those six were the ones whose memories inspired the four the most.

The first sentence in particular seems a bit run-on and a tad confusing to follow at first in my opinion. Otherwise, I am still quite interested in seeing more. Good job!

Blayze
12-15-2007, 05:32 PM
Yeah, I just end up rambling on when I write those setups out for myself. ;) I just type and type and type and see where it takes me.

Luja, the ex-thief and illusionist they had travelled so far alongside. Huin, the assassin who had sacrificed himself for their sake. Ii, the man who had been neither corpse nor zombie, but something else.

Yatsu, the tracker who had stood alongside Silrana against her own employers. The aged soldier Facnu, the man who had seen Zack's potential and trained him. Hanba, Zack's own student, who had impressed him with her ferocity and determination.

Magran, Elemi's old friend, who had matched wills with a veritable force of nature and lost his life in the process. None of them should have died.

And it was all *her* fault.A doo doo doo, rewriting... I need to make a song for when I do that, as that one was just terrible.

---

(Here's the rest of it...)

Mana is something that has not been fully explained or understood, and may never be. It is generally believed to be a form of energy, and it is not known to be native to Estra. When Fiona forced the rift open, an incredibly massive stockpile of mana was waiting on the other side. Like water flowing to fill a container, mana flooded into the world, expanding from its point of entry in all directions, pervading everything it encountered. The further it expanded, the weaker it became, until eventually it simply could not expand any further.

As such, there was one place on Estra that it did not manage to influence, a small county located on the opposite side of the planet. Conversely, it can be assumed that mana expanded upwards, possibly into space. While for a long time mana was assumed to be a single substance or energy form, it is now known that there are three different varieties of mana, each appearing different from the others. One, assumed to be the one with the most density, expanded the furthest and the fastest, affecting the planet and the environment, finding a home in unliving things.

Those who study the ways of the Elemental School of magic learn how to tap into this vast resevoir of mana, although they are encouraged to recycle what they do not need and return it to the planet. They are also taught *never* to 'tear' mana straight out of their environment, for it is widely believed that doing so only harms the planet itself. The second, and also the smallest, seemed only to affect living creatures, altering their physiologies in such a way that it sparked an evolution of sorts within their bodies.

Indeed, new organs appeared in almost everything that was alive, forming a bodily system akin to the respiratory or circulatory systems. Unfortunately, however, a rapid form of devolution has affected those who either do not or cannot tap into the mana that their new system creates within their bodies. This devolution was first observed in animals, and results in the magically-evolved organs withering away over several generations if not used. The children of those who cannot use this mana also cannot do so, even if one parent is still capable of it.

Those who study the Arcane School of magic learn how to call up their inner stockpiles of mana, although they are the most susceptible to adverse physical effects from draining their mana reserves either too much, too fast or both. The physical state they are left in is technically called "mana exhaustion", although many spellcasters refer to it as being "spellfucked". The third variety of mana, and the last to be discovered, was the hardest to find of all.

Drawn to life, small quantities of it seem to 'float' around people. If more people are in one area, then more of this mana gravitates to that area. The incredible thing is that not only is this cumulative, but no limit has thus far been discovered... At least, until now. For you see, after the rift disappeared, so too did what many assume to be a steady influx of mana into the world. First to notice were the Divine users, when their supply of mana suddenly disappeared completely. Those who depended on it either began studying under another one of the Schools, or gave up on magic altogether.

However, the Divine School was not the only one to suffer that fate. The Elemental School, that which had always advised caution and peace, especially after the chaotic events of the Mage War, began to feel the end of their own stockpile of mana approach. It appeared as if the planet either did not have the ability to create its own mana like the Arcane users, or that it was simply being drained too fast. The latter was never proven, even by those who studied the 'Druidic' Aspect, the name given to the remnants of knowledge and spells recovered from the old Earth Aspect, after their home was destroyed.

They knew the dangers of draining mana from the planet all too well, and were dedicated to preventing it whenever it occurred. Sadly, they turned up nothing. Those who followed the Arcane School, because their mana was created from within their bodies, fared the best. However, they were still doomed, as children to two Arcane-compatible people were not exactly the most common of occurrences. With every passing generation, their numbers dwindled, and the actions of those who would drain the planet's own dwindling reserves of mana for their own ends while it still lasted only served to hasten the end of magic.

Some have claimed that at the very birth of mana as Estra knew it, when the rift opened and it arrived, a massive, blinding white light blocked out the sky for a brief second or two, before fading just as quickly as it had appeared. When mana left, however, there was no such visual fanfare, just the sad, slow deterioration of an entire institution, and everything that came along with it. Those who relied on mana found themselves quickly outpaced by those who did not, and the end of what had been a magical arms race and the destabilisation of a bizarre balance of power between nations that were enemies...

...led to war. It was carnage on a massive scale, one only ever seen before during the Mage War, as the more expansionist leaders made grabs for what land they could, obliterating as many of their magic-dependent enemies as they could as quickly as possible. Counties changed hands so fast some never were quite sure as to who they were supposed to pay taxes to, and it resulted in death on a massive scale. Estra, a world that should never have had magic, should never have lost it either.

With magic gone and might restored as the preferred tool of dominance for the discerning tyrant, in a way it was a return to the status quo. However, there was one more player in the mad game of warfare, one that had gone unnoticed because of its relative uselessness in previous years. The one part of Estra that had never been privy to mana, having been situated on the other side of the planet to the University of Magic, was the province of Relis. Seperated from the majority of the other provinces by harsh terrain and unforgiving weather, it was the home of Estra's greatest scientist and architect, the great Tohlo.

Tohlo had been behind some of the more extravagent architectual designs in all of Estra, including the infamous "Stadium" in Giji, which had been home to the annual Hero Tournament that had helped carry this whole mess so far. Technology was his domain, and the majority of Relis agreed with him. Inventions from either Tohlo or his students had made their lives easier and more tolerable, especially his mechanical creations that allowed work to be completed faster and with less manual labour.

In the decades that followed, Relis served as a supplier of arms to the other, more militant provinces, and established itself as the wealthiest nation on all of Estra.

...And that's all I've churned out for it so far. The rest of it's for the original.

Hakke Rokujuuyonshou
12-16-2007, 12:38 AM
Hm. Again, interesting stuff. If this were the preview of the second novel, my guess would be that magic will make a glorious resurgence when the world had gotten so used to technology, perhaps in or after some huge technological/industrial revolution. I don't know if this is where you're going, but it would be interesting if it happened at a time of high-technology, when the era of mana becomes legend. I kind of picture it as if the modern world suddenly had magic springing up and we starting realizing the myths of old, say Greek mythology, were actually fact.

Anyway, now I'm rambling. I only stuck my toe in the pool of fantasy novels out there long ago as a kid, but this story is definitely intriguing.

Still, if you assemble your notes over time and flesh it all out, I think this could be pretty engrossing and rich world about which to read. So, cool stuff!

Blayze
12-16-2007, 09:29 AM
Er... sort of. Let's see if I can break it down for you. This should also help me to get some of my thoughts in better order.

---

Three hundred years before the start of the first novel, mana enters the world because of Fiona's actions. Over the next three hundred years, humanity's understanding of mana and their knowledge of its capabilities increase, until it has become the dominant force on the planet, resulting in an arms race of sorts. Eventually, things quiet down somewhat, not least because of the strict laws regarding the use of magic that the Council enforce.

By this time, magic has become a large part of everyday life, and all but the poorest have generally had the opportunity to study it. This is where the first book begins, and I originally had planned for ten of them, but I don't think I'll have anywhere near enough content for ten. Perhaps seven, at best. Let's roll with that.

Each group of protagonists gets two books to themselves, and the seventh one is where the surviving ones band together to hunt down the one responsible for the latest suffering to hit them. There were originally eleven protagonists, but by this time only four are left alive, the others dying at various points in their 'adventures'.

At the end of the seventh book, Fiona makes her last stand against the four surviving protagonists, and the rift is closed, with both her and Zack on the other side. Skip forward a currently undetermined amount of time, and all hell has broken loose. It's like if you removed nuclear weaponry and missiles from the superpowers, and taken from us the technology that makes life easier.

Those who depend on it would either have to adjust very quickly, or they would die. I suppose it's mainly just an intermission of sorts, this second part. It kinda helps to set the world up a bit for what comes next, which was originally designed as a parody. Let me explain.

Technology has steadily grown, much like mana did, until it was an essential part of life practically everywhere. About, say, a couple of thousand years or so after the rift was closed, it suddenly opened again, to reveal... Fiona. Her body had been changed by her initial exposure to mana all that time ago, and her and Zack had fought in the void after the rift had closed on them.

It was an easy victory for her, however, as she was in the very home of mana itself, and had access to a nigh-infinite supply of power. However, it had taken her this long to break free, as *every* time anybody gets 'sealed away' in any story these days it's always for a thousand years or so.

She had been nourished by the mana in the void for all this time, as the constant exposure to that much of the stuff had changed her body further. She could absorb no more. And so, when she forced the rift open again from her side, she could absorb none of the mana that flooded back into the world at that moment in time.

By this time in the timeline, you're right, magic had been dismissed as a fairytale (Which is sort of ironic, because it was only called magic because of those fairytales in the first place). She had a world at her fingertips, a world that had forgotten about magic and had forgotten how to fight it.

All of her enemies were long dead, and unable to prevent her from doing anything this time around. The world was hers, and nobody could stop her... or could they?

Way, way back when she had been attacked by the four protagonists who had survived her wrath, there was a fifth person who had influenced that battle, although she had not seen him. This is not a retcon, however, as this entire thing was (Or rather, will be) depicted in the story.

When Fiona had destroyed Giji with a massive ball of mana, she knew that nobody caught in the blast would survive. That much was true. However, the souls of those who died in the explosion could not escape from the mana that had killed them. One of those caught in the blast was the thief-mage Luja, who missed his chance at the afterlife because his soul was pinned down by Fiona's mana.

When her mana dissipated, he found that he was stuck between life and death. Wanting revenge on Fiona, he watched over his surviving friends as they travelled towards her base, led by Zack. When it seemed as if they were going to lose during their final confrontation, the massive overuse of mana in that room allowed him to materialise to his friend Teganor.

One spellbook-related plot device later ("You're an idiot, you are. You've got Divine mana. Elemi has Elemental. Who do you know who has Arcane?" "That would be you. But you're dead!" "The book, you fool. *My* book! Whose mana do you think it's absorbed over the years?"), and Luja had managed to help them keep Fiona on her toes long enough for Zack to slam into her and send them both hurtling through the rift.

Then the rift closed, and he was sucked through just before it disappeared, as tied to mana as he was. He was privy to the personal battle between Fiona and Zack, as well as Zack's defeat. He did not dare appear to her, and so he waited. He waited as Fiona absorbed more and more mana, and became more and more powerful.

He waited as she began to force her way through into Estra once again. As she stepped through, the flood of mana towards the rift pulled him along too. There was nothing he could do, and he was extremely surprised to find, upon reaching the other side, that he had manifested a new body, made out of mana.

Then again, he had just been exposed to roughly as much mana as Fiona had the first time she opened the rift. She was as surprised as he was to see him there. Luckily, millennia of generally being inactive had dulled her skills, and he was able to do what he did best.

He ran.

---

The exact means of his escape need to be worked on, but that's the general gist of most of it. That third part of the story, the bit set in the future, is going to be the last of it (I think). As for the end of the story? Well, it needs to end for good, and there's only really one way to do that, I think.

"Rocks fall, everyone dies."

Of course, I could always give a nod to someone like, say, Pratchett, and have him go back in time to stop Fiona from opening the rift the first time, and having him kill her. This would have caused a paradox, and thus destroyed time itself (Because I don't subscribe to any of those 'causes a new reality' ideas), but for the fact that there's somebody in *charge* of fixing messes like that.

Said deity or whoever it is solves the problem by undoing the changes, making Luja suffer a fatal heart attack before he can kill Fiona (Which would explain why I plan on making her yell "YOU!" when he appears in his new body after leaving the rift in the future, despite the two of them never meeting).

Edit: Oops. Forgot to add this:

In the future part of the story, those two are the only ones left who can use mana, as they're the only ones from the past (Damn, this has the possibility to get confusing). It doesn't so much make a resurgence as it gets harnessed by the power of science to power various death-machines.

Hemino Hyuuga
01-13-2008, 06:27 PM
I published a book before...:iria

uncanny_sama
01-20-2008, 12:17 AM
woow great post moar

Speedtouch
02-17-2008, 06:17 PM
That's great. Sentence structure is interesting.

Blayze
02-18-2008, 06:34 PM
Wow, I thought this thread had died long ago. Thanks for the bump, Speedtouch. :)

Ever the opportunist, I found a webcomic artist willing to take on a new project. He chose my concept, and here's a link to the resulting comic. I write it, he draws it. Big props to Zweanslord for the art. :)

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72077

The comic is set at the beginning of the whole situation, way back in the past. He gave me a maximum limit of twenty pages to work with, and so far this is what he's drawn for me.

Jukai Kōtan
04-24-2008, 01:36 PM
good job :jir_thumb

Nae'blis
04-24-2008, 10:07 PM
this was rather interesting. lol, I've also been trying to get my fantasy novel published.