The Poetry Arena - Battle Here!

[mow]

Well this idea came from the conv thread while we were bored, so everyone posted a poem and everyone else judged it.

Rules
1) a poetry battle can only be between 2 ppl at a time, if 2 ppl have already posted their poems, please wait till the voting is finished then post your poem, or if you wish, pm me. Ill put your poem on hold till the battle finsihes and Ill add it for a newer duel.

2) no flamming, mocking etc. Please respect everyone's entries.

3) Your review should be coherent, dont just say " WOW, I vote for you cuase you are teh roXooz!!!" , go into a bit more detail if you please :amuse

4) Simliar voting format to that of sig battles

Win:- 5

Now post away, its all in good fun :amuse

[ninamori]

I'm sorry
The memories of the days past
Still burn brightly in my mind.
The days when you laughed
When you smiled at me warmly
I cannot forget that feeling.

You were so beautiful
And look what she did to you.
Rip out your heart
Throw it to the ground.

That is why...
Without you...
There is nothing I can do
So I hold my pillow tightly
And I cry myself to sleep.

The memories of you haunt me
Like a good dream gone bad.
How can I forget you
Crying in the corner?

She broke you
I could not protect you
I am sorry...

That is why...
Without you...
All my good dreams go bad
And my pillows are tear streaked.

Why did you leave
Only to be broken again?
Was I not good enough
For your eternal love?

I am sorry...

I wrote that on a tangent for me an' Moe's poetry writing game. Watch me get pwned. lol

[Lacus Clyne]

Alright here is my poem!!

What Goes Around

At the worst time in my life you abandoned me,
Left me alone, sad, hurt, and confused.
You thought you were doing the “right thing.”
You didn’t know that you killed at part of me.

You say you hate change, then why did you leave?
Why did you ditch me for some stupid guy?

Now you’re alone.
I should probably feel bad, but I don’t.
They say what goes around comes around, and it’s true.
I’m just sorry you had to find that out the hard way.

I moved on.
I found people who love me, who respect me, and who treat me well.

Just because you want things to be the same as before, I should give that up?
Is that what you want me to do?
What have you ever done for me?
What have you given me besides tears and pain?

I am sick of being used and abused.
I am fed up of hanging out only when He isn’t busy.
I am tired if being a good friend to you, and getting nothing in return.

All you do is complain that you don’t like the direction your life is going.
You don’t make an effort to be happy.
You want someone to fix your problems for you.
Well, I can tell you one thing…that person won’t be me.

[mow]

So there you have it ladies and gents, vote for fav. poems by these wonderful ladies.

I need to think it over, Ill edit my vote her once i make up my mind

EDIT: MON GMV, though both poem are emotionally powerfull and extreemly geniune, Mon's poem has the upper hand in its arrangment and

[Dagda_Mor]

I vote PenaltyLife. (Both are good, though)

[Chopstickx]

it was so hard to pick =S both poems were great! rep to both of you :)
PenaltyLife- your poem structure was really nice.
kakashi_fangirl- you put in a lot of great details.

although kakashi_fangirl GMV, nicely described and thought out.

[DarkbroodShinobi]

i have a few poems myself... not as long as yours though, but at least they rhyme...

1:My heart is now on fire
'cause you have set it ablaze
you are lighting my desire
with your fairy gaze

now my heart has burned to dust
'cause your not here with me
shattered peices becoming rust
in your arms i want to be

so now i take the knife
and plunge it to my heart
ending my ruined life
tearing me apart

2:Blood is stainin
concrete so dark
the sound of bullets
finding their mark

the scent of death
fear and cold
ashes and smoke
from the guns you hold

soon the night will pass away
the reaper collects his souls
a red sun rises
your life has met its goal

now alone
the last man stands
and only now you notice
the blood on your hands
(note that these are two different poems and are not conected in inay way with eachothers)

[EMPRA]

Both poems were well put to and both strong in words but i have to give a vote out so its goin to be PenaltyLife, its words were strong, meaningfull,emotional and powerfull...
PenaltyLife GMV ...


@DarkbroodShinobi - Read the rulz you can put your poem after this battle is finished so0 plz follow the rulz correctly...

[mow]

DARKSHINOBI, ill post your poem right after this battle ends :amuse

PenaltyLife - 2
Kakshi_Fangirl - 1

keep voting ^.^

[Jun]

I'll vote for penalty. I can relate. -_-

----------------------------------
well, here's mine: (based on my true story)

once i thought, life was made of tears
from the angels who observe us quietly from above
reality showed me that this life i must fear
cuz i would never understand the true meaning of love...

then one night, late March as I recall
i met her, the angel from above.
came closer, said hello but never spoke
i found out, she wasnt what I thought... she was much more!

March 30 was the date, the southern shores the perfect setting
magic was born that day,
so was the best of my despairs!

after all that has happened, now I truly understand
we're not meant to love some people...
our true teacher is PAIN.

Why do I still love you, I don't know...
my greatest mistake in life was loosing you
my perfect girl, i hope we met again
in the portal between life & death.
i will wait for you endlessly
cuz i know i'll be the first to go
this constant pain is unbrerable
i ask from you...love me always... like the first time......
the same way you always do.

[mow]

Okay for the next Poetry battle its

Uchiha JUN vs. DarkbroodShinobi


in the meantime carry on voting is

Penalty life - 3
Kakshi Fangirl - 1

[Zhongda]

heres a poem i jus made up (kinda short)

ur a peach
ur a catch
ur kitty
that doesn't scratch
ur an anttenae in my life
if u walk away
my life will be whack!
jus want u to know
thall i always want u back.

HAUNTER ;)

[ninamori]

Umm.... people.... could you please read the RULES? -_-

Thanks for voting guys, it means alot! And thanks for the feed-back and actually taking time to read my poem!

[mow]

Umm.... people.... could you please read the RULES? -_-


i know mon, its hopless >.<

[EMPRA]

Yer if only pplz followed the rulz these dayz :huh

BTW MoE can you post my poem after plz...

LOST PRESENCE
You been part of me since that first day.
You're in my thoughts and my dreams
You are in every breath I take
and every single move I make.

I see you when I close my eyes.
The way you look and how you move.
I know it is my love that I must prove.
Our joyful memories I will replay
And how much I love you in every way.

I know when you been in the room
By the fragrance of your presence.
I feel that time is of the essence.
Passion coursing through my veins.
Looking forward to the time that still remains.

You're in my thought in every way
In my mind, in the words I say
In my soul, in how I pray,

I am thankful for the day we met
I am sure that my love for you I will never regret..
You are the spirit of my love
and the passion that rains from above.

In my emotions that been freed
In the devotions to you I feed.

No, this is not the man I was
More the man that I want to be
To be there for you always to see.

And let the love within me grow
You are my monumental love I feel
And hidden feelings that I know.
The ones that I buried deep and let go

The soulful fountain of my heart.
That sprang forth from our desires could never let us part.

When I gazed upon your beauty
The mirror of my desires.
it started to burst my heart into a sonnet of fires.
Afraid to say I love you,
until you said you loved me first.
For fear of your feelings for me just burst.

Your name is etched upon my heart.
Your beauty in my eyes.
That is something I could not disguise.

Should I tell you how I feel
And let my love be revealed.
Like a gambler who shows emotion
Bets on the hearts of his potion.

From your lips the words flowed out
How I wanted to jump and shout.
You held me in your arms and
conformed me in your heart.

I stand in emotional Abyss
Scared you can't commit.
Wavering in my thoughts.
Will you say or will you not?

Living on love sweet potion
My heart raging like the ocean
I hear the echo of your words
And launch myself into motion.

You fit me like a perfect glove,
Your heart is the target of
all my love.
The unison of our devotion
deeper than the pacific ocean

Now we both know we love each other...

[mow]

okay empra, ill post this poem for the battle after Jun and Dark :amuse

Penalty life - 4
Kakshi Fangirl - 1

[Jun]

If only I had my little black book of terror here... I have more than 200+ poems and verses there......

.... but most of them so sad and depressive that I always bury my book underneath my bed. I haven't written anything there for about a year...

[mister. pek]

EMPRA is that really yours?
http://www.majalisna.com/showflat.php?Board=english&Number=208168
http://princeedwardthethird.bravejournal.com/

[Jaggan]

-_- I don't believe it. Empra is a stubborn one eh?

I vote for kakashi's poem. It very nice, very strong. It has a lot of confidence.

Penalty's is good too, but it's a bit too depressed.

[ninamori]

Aww... I only write depressing poems! They're more fun! (It balances out my super-hyper personality...)

[mow]

PenaltyLife :4
Kakashi Fangirl: 2

keep it coming!

[xenex]

I have no experience with judging poetry, but I vote Kakashi Fangirl. Not because it made me think of how I feel about someone close to me but because it reminded me how most of my friends must see me. Pain is cyclic but I kinda got used to it.

PenaltyLife, I can't really relate to your poem since I've neither cried nor made someone cry like that. Don't get me wrong, it was still good though.

[mow]

this will NEVER finish XD

PenaltyLife :4
Kakashi Fangirl: 3

[PATMAN]

it;s the same for almost all the close battles >_>

[Zerolok]

I would have to say to say saku. The poem though has less rythym than Mon's, but Saku's just flows better as I read it. It was hard to decide, since both poems were great, but in the end, i figured Saku's just tied together a little better. THere. i voted.

[mow]

PenaltyLife :4
Kakashi Fangirl: 4

ONE MORE VOTE TO GO!

[Blue]

So I'm the deciding vote, huh? Damn.

Well...

Mon's GMV.

They were both excellent, however. :)

[mow]

and there you have it Monny is the winner, Wonderful job ladies, your poems were both extremely well done :amuse, keep sharing them ^.^

Next Battle : Uchiha Jun & DarkbroodShinobi

DarkbroodShinobi
My heart is now on fire
'cause you have set it ablaze
you are lighting my desire
with your fairy gaze

now my heart has burned to dust
'cause your not here with me
shattered peices becoming rust
in your arms i want to be

so now i take the knife
and plunge it to my heart
ending my ruined life
tearing me apart

2:Blood is stainin
concrete so dark
the sound of bullets
finding their mark

the scent of death
fear and cold
ashes and smoke
from the guns you hold

soon the night will pass away
the reaper collects his souls
a red sun rises
your life has met its goal

now alone
the last man stands
and only now you notice
the blood on your hands
(note that these are two different poems and are not conected in inay way with eachothers)

===


Uchiha Jun
once i thought, life was made of tears
from the angels who observe us quietly from above
reality showed me that this life i must fear
cuz i would never understand the true meaning of love...

then one night, late March as I recall
i met her, the angel from above.
came closer, said hello but never spoke
i found out, she wasnt what I thought... she was much more!

March 30 was the date, the southern shores the perfect setting
magic was born that day,
so was the best of my despairs!

after all that has happened, now I truly understand
we're not meant to love some people...
our true teacher is PAIN.

Why do I still love you, I don't know...
my greatest mistake in life was loosing you
my perfect girl, i hope we met again
in the portal between life & death.
i will wait for you endlessly
cuz i know i'll be the first to go
this constant pain is unbrerable
i ask from you...love me always... like the first time......
the same way you always do.
==========================

Read the rules and vote away :)

[ninamori]

Although both were good, and both had their low points, Uchiha Jun GMV. I felt drawn-in to what was happening, and the whole structure was very srong. Good job. :amuse

[Lacus Clyne]

Uchiha Jun GMV. I liked the format better, and I thought his had much more emotion poured into it. The first two lines and the last stanza were very moving. Good work!

[mow]

Uchiha Jun GMV, The development of the poem is well maintanied and I can really feel the emotions while reading the words. Good job mate :amuse

[backos]

i vote darkbroodshinoby because his words count more to me in other words it touched me more than the other even though the other is a great peace of work too

i have a poem want to share for the next battle

Well here it goes :

The heavens opened from above
Only to give you the light you deserve
Angels singing inside my ears
Your very presence is a lightning
Opening my eyes to see the world above
Closing my eyes to come back to reality
The gravity binds me to earth
You give me wings and fly me to heaven
My senses go wild
Skinny but juicy appearence
Full of all the world's wonders
You stay there for me to see
Never do I ever touch you though
I always love you ever since that day
A Lightning struck and then darkness

i would really like to be the next to battle

[mow]

Uchiha Gun : 3
darkbroodshinoby : 1

and backos, you entering the next battle :amuse

[backos]

When Is The Next Post In This Room Is Going To Be Made I Want To Battle
Please Someone Please!!!!!!!

[mow]

bump . . . . .

[200 IQ]

I'll battle yoU!!!!! GIVE ME A TOPIC

[mow]

Uchiha Gun : 4
darkbroodshinoby : 1

backos, Your poem will be the one next, I might post mine if no one wants to post one of their works :amuse

EDIT: 200IQ, any topic, post one and the next battle will be between you and backos. and could you please vote?

[200 IQ]

should we? yeah I think we should.

[mow]

Very well, if you guys want to go ahead with your rap battle, post your material up

[mow]

Sure thing, go right ahead.

[200 IQ]

ok bean contacted me -- here are the rules - we gonna battle tommorow - since he has to go to this exorcist thingy

One person goes -- then other person goes ( he can counter ) then repeat that 4 times n we see who's better.

12 lines.

[mow]

Very well, that sounds perfect. Tomorrow, he will make a new thread in the music Dept. Im looking forward for this.

In the meantime

Uchiha Gun : 4
darkbroodshinoby : 1

VOTE PPL!

[backos]

so i guess nothing is goin to be done with my battle right ?
oh well i guess i just have to wait a little bit more

[beamerrox]

EMPRA this is a very bad way of stealing my poem...it took me 5 months and 32 drafts to get it right, and you spend about 5 minutes posting it for your personal gain in a competition, if you want to take credit for it you should have bought the rights to it when i had it on www.ebay.ca , the rights sold for $539.37 USD, and is now owned only by my mother, so please give all credit back to the author(me) or you could face charges

[jkingler]

^Yeah, don't plagiarize people.

Back on-topic. Jun GMV, because I just felt it more. I could empathize. The other one felt too cliche to me, to be honest.

Off-topic: We should have song battles too, Moe :D

[sik4rilz]

*bump*