Jesus' Penis.

[Catterix]

If I can, I'd like this thread to avoid flames. They hurt :(

But anyway, I was just wondering, if let's say, Jesus had been a woman, would our society be much different?

We live in a still extremely patriarchal society (Male dominated) and as part of the western world, pretty much all of our society up until the last century, has been built up by the Christian religion. Christians built the world we live in, heck we might not even have weekends if it weren't for the Christian idea that "You don't work on a sunday" (And then society extending that to a saturday as well at points during history) and as such, it has also largely been the Christian religion that gave men more power, and its only been in the last 100 years that things have really changed, in the Victorian times, women were more like possessions without much power whatsoever.

Of course, it should be noted that Males were still in power beforehand, but based off this religion, its possible that idea might've been changed. We all know what when Jesus was alive (Some 2000 years ago or whatever) that he told people how to live, now if he were a woman, would he have given different messages?

Or is it natural that one sex was always the dominant, like how females are in spiders.

Was Jesus a woman but history was distorted to fit the times?

[troublesum-chan]

this thread was also not what i thought, and for once i am pleasantly relieved by this fact instead of let down, like i was in the "nuns help man loose virginity" thread :)

its an interesting thought. :huh but i think if jesus had been a woman, it would have hurt "her" believability to the people of the time. There will always be those willing to listen regardless of gender if the logic is sound or if it appeals to ones sympathies, namely an afterlife to compensate for the crappy quality of life most people had back then. But even Jesus-man was charged as a heretic, so jesus-woman would have probably been gone twice as fast :(

[Stalker-Kun]

interesting...

[Death_Striker_666]

Well taking account on how stuff was back in Jesus Time, women were not seen as important member's in society, as they had no right and whatever.

So if Jesus was indeed a woman, I believe no one would listen to him/her, rather they would make useless comments, so no Christianity/Judaism Protestaniasm and whatever other religions would have been born.

It's a sad truth how women were seen inferior and not as equal as men :notrust

[Amaretti]

If Jesus had been a woman, he probably would have been ignored and/or executed. When he was born, society was still hugely patriachal - and a woman having ideas and teachings would not have been taken kindly.

Basically, Jesus would have had to be a man to have gained the influence he did.

[troublesum-chan]

well, i dont know about christianity NEVER getting started.

im pretty sure there would have been an able male, even if JesusFem was not listened to at all, that would have had the same thoughts and probably all those religions would have come along eventually.

that and jsut because women were thought of as inferior doesnt mean NOBODY listened to them. think about Antonianism started by Dona Beatrice. She had followers, and it faded away but that was because the premise of a Black Jesus was just plain inaccurate.

[Firedraconian]

*cough Joan of Arc cough*

[Amaretti]

*cough Joan of Arc cough*
15th Century France is a far different place than 1st century ME.

[Bishop]

I agree that if it wasn't for christianity the world we live in wouldn't be the same, but the same goes for other events like slavery, up rise of women in the western world, revolution of Cuba, colonization of Africa, etc... One way or another if it wasn't Christianity it would of been another religion seeing how religious the world was back then.

Now if Jesus was a women we wouldn't live in a better world. Not really focusing directly on how the men ruled the world but what would happen if Jesus (the female) even tried to be educated. Remember that women weren't , even in those days, nearly as smart as men, Jesus would have been restricted to the caring position. And if she, say, healed a man near death they would just make that her primary job. Mother Teresa would be nothing because Jesus was the care giver, and let her speak out of the god and she would be given drugs to keep her quiet or labeled a witch and killed. (I don't think witchcraft was heavy back that far though.)

[keiiya]

Prodigal son would be Prodigal daughter.
Lord's prayer would be Lady's prayer.

I don't think women had positions of authority at that time so I can't imagine him having such a large amount of follows as he did if he had been a woman. As a result, I don't think Christianity would have spread the way it did. This is further emphasized by the fact that in the Gospels Jesus doesn't even choose women to be included as one of the 12 apostles.

[Amaretti]

This is further emphasized by the fact that in the Gospels Jesus doesn't even choose women to be included as one of the 12 apostles.

Actually, he might've, but the bible was compounded several centuries after Jesus' death and as such was subject to 'cherry-picked' editing to suit the early church fathers.

[troublesum-chan]

there was some debate over that and whether Magdalene was considered an apostle to mr, geebus

[Dr. Boskov Krevorkian]

15th Century France is a far different place than 1st century ME.

You got that right.

[Monomyth]

If jesus was a female he would have never garnered as much attention as he did. I'm not saying that he/she wouldn't have any followers. I'm just trying to point out that christianity would have never taken off.

[Cloud Nine]

If Jesus had been a woman, he probably would have been ignored and/or executed. When he was born, society was still hugely patriachal - and a woman having ideas and teachings would not have been taken kindly.

Basically, Jesus would have had to be a man to have gained the influence he did.

Sadly, I agree. :'(

[Shigure]

There's no way a woman would've been deified like Jesus was. Especially when women were made to be completely subservient. A woman going around doing what Jesus supposedly did would've been stoned to death very quickly. Because men back then wouldn't even entertain the idea of a woman with power.

I guess if there wasn't a Jesus, today's christians would be jewish, or something else.. and there'd be no rememberance of female jesus (like Lilith); and if there was, female Jesus would be made out as a whore. Like Mary Magdalene.

[Zephos]

Man, another thread thinking a surface difference will change everything?
I think its incidental what people in power have had between their legs. Cultural Feminism is bunk.

[sj2k]

So if Jesus was indeed a woman, I believe no one would listen to him/her, rather they would make useless comments, so no Christianity/Judaism Protestaniasm and whatever other religions would ha

WE DON"T BELIEVE IN JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

though I do agree with what you said. Had jesus been a women, she simply would have been ignored.

Man, another thread thinking a surface difference will change everything?
I think its incidental what people in power have had between their legs.

While I must say I personally agree it doesn;t matter the sex, people today don't agree, let alone people in early CE.

No, jesus would have been executed before anything started off. Its not that jesu would have had less followers, or christianity would have been smaller, or jesus would now be seen as bad, no, christianity would not exist today. Jesus, being a women, as soon as she uttered something like she was the daughter of god, dead. Its that simple. Dead. Maybe a few people follow her, within a few hundred years at the most, they die out. In fact, we may have had a women who was more moral than jesus, who claimed to be the daughter of god. Odds are no records would ahve been made, and she would have been stamped out, along with her followers. So we wouldnt' even know.

[Knight of Fate]

Prodigal son would be Prodigal daughter.
Lord's prayer would be Lady's prayer.

But the Lord is God and Jesus is the son of God(or daughter in this thread's case >_>). So it still won't be the Lady's Prayer.

[Firedraconian]

Unless instead of being the holy father, it was the holy mother.

[troublesum-chan]

well there are many religions much older than christianity that believed we were born from "mother earth."

i mean if you think about it, it actually makes more sense that a woman, you know, with ovaries and such, would be the sex of the being that gave birth to all things. If a)there is a god and b) god even has a gender.

[sj2k]

actually this brings up a good point. Maybe if, given the off chance jesus was a women, and was accepted, god would be considered female.

[troublesum-chan]

i just realized though...that if a jesus was born, no matter what the gender, it would be more reasonable then if he/she was the son of god for god to be a male.

because...you need penor to get a female pregnant...

[sj2k]

because...you need penor to get a female pregnant...

but god never had sex with mary.

[T4R0K]

Someone mentioned Joan of Arc. Actually, she was not followed because God told her to "Kick the Angles out of France", but actually because the king and his conselors told him she could make an impression on the people, to bring them hope again and will to fight. Maybe not really as a messenger of God. Some historians think they thought she was delusional.

It's a recent theory that pisses off the French Nationalists, who love her, lol.

[Zephos]

Someone mentioned Joan of Arc. Actually, she was not followed because God told her to "Kick the Angles out of France", but actually because the king and his conselors told him she could make an impression on the people, to bring them hope again and will to fight. Maybe not really as a messenger of God. Some historians think they thought she was delusional.

It's a recent theory that pisses off the French Nationalists, who love her, lol.

Well some folks might say Jesus was delusional .....but hey! :D

[T4R0K]

My point was that the king and his folks might have thought her crazy... because she was a woman.

Or that's what does historians think. There's no real record or chronicles mentionning it, so I still wonder where they got that idea.

[keiiya]

But the Lord is God and Jesus is the son of God(or daughter in this thread's case >_>). So it still won't be the Lady's Prayer.The 'Lord' in the Lord's Pray actually refers to Jesus as it was him who first 'invented' it. His disciples referred to him as 'Lord'.

actually this brings up a good point. Maybe if, given the off chance jesus was a women, and was accepted, god would be considered female.Well even before Jesus was born the Bible refers to God as Him. Even though Judaism believes that God is genderless, they still refer to God as being a male. Also even though Christianity refers to God as the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) they still believe in him being genderless. They use the terms more as a way of conveying the relationship between God and Jesus. I think most religion see God as processing both male and female characteristics.

[Catterix]

Man, another thread thinking a surface difference will change everything?
I think its incidental what people in power have had between their legs. Cultural Feminism is bunk.

Did I say that?

Its a question you moron, not a hypothesis.

"How do you think it would be different?"

Not "Do you think it'd be different?" "Would it have been better?" "Are women really just Liliths in waiting".

Some people here are just too literal.

[Toby]

Technically, virgin Mary only became popular because of her son's words and actions - so all female characters benefitting from Mary's Grace in Christianity owe it to a mother of God's son. Sex has, strangely enough, a distorted relevance to the case. God's heir was the prophesised agent of God. Not his son. But, were Mary to have a girl, she would not be the heir of God because the language actually doesn't account for women as heirs. Gods have, as a rule of that period, always had sons as heirs - and most often as their first-borns.

15th Century France is a far different place than 1st century ME.

Um, Catholic France easier to put up with than the Jewish society of Jesus' era? Not really. The reason Janne D'Arc was accepted was because she appeared, like virgin Mary, to be a saint. Both were hardcore, but France is only a tad better.

[Bishop]

actually this brings up a good point. Maybe if, given the off chance jesus was a women, and was accepted, god would be considered female.

And thus nobody would worship the female god.

[troublesum-chan]

au contraire

men worship me all the time.

[Bishop]

Yeah but your packin in the pants...so I heard...

[Jackal Iscariot]

A woman with a gettho-booty ftw. Smack that sacred ass anytime ;)

[troublesum-chan]

Yeah but your packin in the pants...so I heard...

XO

whats thisssss????:cry

[Bishop]

Wonder how I found out huh T-chan, well lets just say that guns get you more imformation that a caffine donut does.

[Lord Yu]

Off-topic. Best thread title of the year.
On topic we have always pretty much lived in a male dominated society. A female Jesus wouldn't have made it ever.

[MartialHorror]

Yeah, hate to admit it, but the fact Jesus was attacked for actually reaching out to women is enough proof that if he was a female, it would never have worked.

[troublesum-chan]

Wonder how I found out huh T-chan, well lets just say that guns get you more imformation that a caffine donut does.

guns get you false info

caffiene donut holes get you friends :mad

and back OT, the patriarchy of society was decided klong before jesus came along.

[Bishop]

guns get you false info

caffiene donut holes get you friends :mad

and back OT, the patriarchy of society was decided klong before jesus came along.

*Looks at bulge in T-chans pants*

Yep we all know that.

[Zephos]

Did I say that?

Its a question you moron, not a hypothesis.

"How do you think it would be different?"

Not "Do you think it'd be different?" "Would it have been better?" "Are women really just Liliths in waiting".

Some people here are just too literal.

Some people expect an awful lot after titling thier thread "Jesus' Penis".

[Catterix]

Wow... You have no sense of understanding of people's actions lol Think outside the box!!!111111 :cry

Its quite clear I named this thread for effect and deliberate irony of the actual thread itself.

But nevermind, feel free to think much of yourself smile-big

Moving on, just to stress the point, ignoring how a female Jesus would have been treated back then, let's say IF she had somehow been accepted... what do you think would be different? Would men still be in power, or would women?

Just the thoughts of a bored child during Sociology.

[Bishop]

Well if she was excepted I'm sure she would of had a baby and the cycle would continue with royalty.

I don't see what the difference in the sex has to do with anything anymore since she isn't threaten. She would just teach the same things that the male jesus did.

[sj2k]

Caterix, I think what you mentioned is a paradox. In order for her to have been accepted the society that she was in would have had to be different, so would the differences today be because jesus was a women, or because the society which could accept a female jesus is so different the changes are because of it?

[FuzzyBrows]

The Bible has been basically raped time and time again by male priests over the ages who deemed women as below men but above dogs. The Bible we read today is a compilation of all these peoples opinions and prejiduce. Many of the Bible's stories would have once had many women but all they are in the Bible are prostitutes or beggars ( excluding the virgin Mary ). My point is that with such an edited Bible maybe Jesus ( if he was real ) was a woman to begin with! Just my opinion and no offense to priests.

[Bishop]

I didn't know people edited the bible.

[Kyo no danna]

Caterix, I think what you mentioned is a paradox. In order for her to have been accepted the society that she was in would have had to be different, so would the differences today be because jesus was a women, or because the society which could accept a female jesus is so different the changes are because of it?

I think he has you there Catterix.

But if FemJesus had been politically shrewd enough to not get stoned to death and to get society to accept her (I assume this would entail a whole lot more miracles than just the water to wine thing. In fact, I'm having a hard time trying to come up with anything she could have done to get a following, short of summoning God to come down to earth and say "Now, now, all you naughty bitches, play nice before I destroy you all"), then I don't think the teachings would have been that different. Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone, for example. Turn the other cheek. Love thy neighbor.

I think there might have been more emphasis on meeting God halfway, and helping those in need, and forgiveness (I know there is a lot of that in the Bible already). I think it would have reflected a more of a view of equality, since she would be a woman in a man's world. Maybe more commandments about treating others better. And a view of "You can't just passively be saved, you have to actively seek salvation".

And I don't think she would have been spared death (Come on, isn't that the whole point of the Messiah? To die for our sins?), and probably wouldn't have handled it any more or less gracefully than Jesus did.

I don't think history would have been any less brutal than it has been. It might even have been more so, when FemJesus wasn't around to summon God to chastise all the non believers, and Rome may well have wiped Christianity out. Who know.

Just my two cents.

[~Kaio-Cam~]

American Dad says God was a female. The boobs were UNBELIEVABLE :amuse . Makes a boy into a man greater than all if seen. :P

[dummy plug]

during those times, males are the dominant gender in society...but if jesus came at our current time, there is a possibility that he could become a woman because nowadays, men and women are equal...:)

[Lazarus]

Don't Christians believe that it was Jesus's divinity which caused the masses to listen?

If he was a woman that still would have remained the same.

But if we look at this from a purely historical point of view, I'm not entirely sure that a woman would have garnered much attention.

[sj2k]

Remus, if you ask many, not all, but many, christians they will say that christ was a male because eve sinned by eating the apple in the garden of eden.

[The Space Cowboy]

This is probably too large of a change for anyone to reasonably evaluate.

In other words, discussing it seriously is on par with deducing the number of angels that can dance on a pin.

[Lazarus]

Remus, if you ask many, not all, but many, christians they will say that christ was a male because eve sinned by eating the apple in the garden of eden.

Interesting.

Though it makes me wonder if Eve was intended to be the avatar of all women as sinful creatures, or if only she, herself, was sinful.

[sj2k]

^ it is, IMO, and actually the OT's oppinion, not a valid arguemnt. In the OT (duteronbomy I belive) it says that a child cannot be held responsible for their parents sin. However, many christians (gratned the very orthodox and conservative ones) say that this is why males have been (and are) superior. Because eve sinned. I do not agree with it, and I don't htink many, if in fact anyone, on the forum agrees with it, but that is how it is rationilized by some.

[Lazarus]

I suppose that those people would take more from Calvinism than any other branch of the Catholic church.

Christianity's definitely not confined to the doctrine of the Bible anymore, that much seems to be clear.

[petersellers]

jesus was a jew and a man.

[petersellers]

since when did an avatar become an icon for anything besides the devil incarnate? talk about taking a cool word and making it shitty. are any of you guys into occultism, like the ordo templi orientus, or the golden dawn, you know magick with a k. at least that stuff is fun.

[quizzlix?!]

i agree with T-Chan-Kun......I thought might have had to do with penis size or something...oh well.....I don't know but this reminds me of Davinci Code

[Akkarin323]

I thought you were gonna open with:
(dont hate me...)

A: WHy was Jesus popular with the ladies?
B: No idea. Why?
A: Because he was hung like this! *spreads arms*

But...good way of grabbing my attention.

[Intrepid]

Since I'm Christian, I think if Jesus was a woman, she would still have made the same accomplishments. Although in terms of social acceptance to her words might have been as quickly adopted into Western civilization.

After all the healing she's done, people then would probably have accused her of witchcraft. And since she had the twelve apostles with her, she would also be called a slut, among all other things.

[chubby]

If I can, I'd like this thread to avoid flames. They hurt :(

But anyway, I was just wondering, if let's say, Jesus had been a woman, would our society be much different?

We live in a still extremely patriarchal society (Male dominated) and as part of the western world, pretty much all of our society up until the last century, has been built up by the Christian religion. Christians built the world we live in, heck we might not even have weekends if it weren't for the Christian idea that "You don't work on a sunday" (And then society extending that to a saturday as well at points during history) and as such, it has also largely been the Christian religion that gave men more power, and its only been in the last 100 years that things have really changed, in the Victorian times, women were more like possessions without much power whatsoever.

Of course, it should be noted that Males were still in power beforehand, but based off this religion, its possible that idea might've been changed. We all know what when Jesus was alive (Some 2000 years ago or whatever) that he told people how to live, now if he were a woman, would he have given different messages?

Or is it natural that one sex was always the dominant, like how females are in spiders.

Was Jesus a woman but history was distorted to fit the times?
Just finish reading the Da Vinci Code?

[Neco]

So many things that happened back then could have been distorted, in the 1100's the bible was rewrote after all the origionals were burnt in the inquestion. The only origional one is locked up in the vatican's safe.

[GrimaH]

omg Jesus's penis :love

[Harlita]

pics or it never happened.

[Sandi Bebop]

pics or it never happened.

Wait... pics of Jesus as a woman... or Jesus' penis??? o_0

Is it bible-yaoi story time again????

[Turnip Girl]

If Jesus had been a woman, God could've just used his omnipotency to make people listen to her, right?

Things would probably still be just the same, anyway.