Scientific fact proving santa isn't real

[IIReDragon]

Oh this will shut my friend up so bad :clap


Sanat is not real (http://www.hardwareanalysis.com/content/topic/17881/)





-ReDragon-

[lucky]

Oh this will shut my friend up so bad :clap

Sanat is not real (http://www.hardwareanalysis.com/content/topic/17881/)

-ReDragon-

d00d... you really wanan crush your friend's dreams? How old is he?

*EDIT*

oh and don't you know anything?

Santa has holy powers... the scientific explanation doesn't pertain to him. n00b. Normal law of physics don't apply to him.

[Gandhi]

Shit, I guess this means Naruto isnt real either?

Damnit, whatever will we do?

[SoulFire]

Damnit, whatever will we do?


I sugest we all commit mass-suicide with the use of kool-aid. Our agony can only be halted by death :sad

[gakidou]

lol i don't think you need science to prove santa's not real... i think common sense is sufficient...
jeez... if santa was real... i guess the U.S military invented a new weapon called "GUNDAM" and there are new universities opening up for ninjas... and OH LOOK!! it's a bird, it's a plane, IT'S SUPERMAN!!
*sighs....* if santa were real...

i bet those elves are real though... i have magical elves that wash the dishes over night... everytime i wake up... NO DISHES!~! *gasps* BAM! that proves magical elves exists

[OneSideRed]

can't help but laugh everytime i read it :)

[Jh1stgen]

I thought this was a joke, but cmon. No need to go in depth about it ...

[mow]

:rofl!
that post was hilarious Soul

[Rurouni]

Maybe so, but as stated above, Santa has magical powers to overcome those scientific facts :)

[Gandhi]

Maybe so, but as stated above, Santa has magical powers to overcome those scientific facts :)Exactly. We all know that Santa has magic powers just like Jesus. Wait... this means Naruto is real after all!!!1.

This proves it :amazed

Ph34r |\/|y 1n73l3c7u4l l0g1c4l 4rgu|\/|3n75.

[TheUnlimited]

Santa Claus not real??

Hellooo.. the Santa Clause movie with Tim Allen in it... doh! ^_^

and he's on the Coca Cola cans and bottles now during this season.. that's reason enough that he's real (inside joke)

[Kamzy]

we all know that santa has a time stoping device of some sorts, so he can spend as long as is needed to deliver his presents....

i mean thats just common knowledge

[Hayabusa]

You sir, are an evil evil man for trying to say Santa isnt real.

[HyugaHinata]

You sir, are an evil evil man for trying to say Santa isnt real.

lol. He didn`t just try to say it, he actually said it. ;)

Santa = god for children.

[Masaki]

He's not real???

*runs away, goes to guidance*

[nightangel]

Santa is not real!
You could be bad all year you
and you could still get presents.
You get presents from your parents and parent's friend.
I also heard that he was a legend!^_^

[IIReDragon]

Well... If Santa Clause was real, he isn't anymore... :::::::::::: (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/santatomb.html)




-ReDragon-

[ErHaN]

i dont like santa clause passes my work every 5 minutes with his DAMD BELL!!!

[Sabaku no Ira]

Hum, sort of reminds me. Last year there was this priest who had to apologize publicly because he upset a lot of children by telling them that Santa is not real...

[parker pyne]

OMFG santa's not real?!?!?

It all makes sense.. those tooth fairies have been delivering presents all along..

[OneSideRed]

OMFG santa's not real?!?!?

It all makes sense.. those tooth fairies have been delivering presents all along..

HAHAHAHAH.. Can't.... stop... laughing....need.....air...

[Crucifixation]

I love you. You have just given me an idea for my science fair.

[occasionalutopia]

Ahem, time for a case study in Narutard Debating 101:

1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)That's because normal eyes can't see the reindeer due to the special chakra-shield they emit to protect them from being scorched by the atmosphere, you need Sharingan or Byakugan to spot them, dumbass.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.And your point is? BTW SASUKE IZ T3H C@@LXORZ! 111!1ONE!!!

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.You have obviously not heard of the amazing kinjutsu called Kage Bunshin.

... Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.Pffft, according to the OFFICIAL CHARACTER DATABOOK, Gai Sensei can move 3,789 times faster than Santa requires. Did you not know Santa was THE Gai Sensei's mentor? Who did you think taught Gai how to open the 8 Gates?

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.SOLDIER PILLS, DUMBASS. S.O.L.D.I.E.R. P.I.L.L.S. You my friend, need to get out more.

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. And that's what KAITEN is for you peasant!

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.How sure are you? Does the manga state this anywhere? Even if he is dead, Orochimaru could always resurrect him with Edo Tensei you know. Because we all know Santa delivers Orochi's presents for Kabuto on Hebi-sama's behalf because durrr, Xmas shopping with disabled arms isn't easy.

[DXFC]

a fat man deliverin presents....what more do u want O_.

[shinobi_kyte]

353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth

That made me laugh my arse off.

In response to the topic at hand, Santa must exist, but he has figured out some way to clone himself. How do I know? Go to every mall across America in the month of December, and youll find out! So, therefore, Santa is not NEO, he's Agent Smith, but in a red suit, much fatter, and he hasn't died yet. All of this would greatly decrease the numbers presented at hand.

Besides, his belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly! I mean, there's nothing jollier than jelly!

[Sayo]

*bah* santa is a stupid rip-off from the dutch sinterklaas...

[Eeky]

YOU CRUSHED MY DREAM :C

-Kris

ps. Joking :P

[shadow_sand]

Santa must die. read the Elite Union Christmas special.

http://s4.invisionfree.com/Destiny_Of_Z/index.php?showtopic=66

[Keele]

*cries* i thought santa exsisted :confused

[OPTIMUS PRIME]

lol i don't think you need science to prove santa's not real... i think common sense is sufficient...
jeez... if santa was real... i guess the U.S military invented a new weapon called "GUNDAM" and there are new universities opening up for ninjas... and OH LOOK!! it's a bird, it's a plane, IT'S SUPERMAN!!
*sighs....* if santa were real...

i bet those elves are real though... i have magical elves that wash the dishes over night... everytime i wake up... NO DISHES!~! *gasps* BAM! that proves magical elves exists

you are my new hero. LOL :P actually Santa was real. I use the term was because he has been dead for like 100 years or more. can't remember. use to be some guy in holland I think. named Chris Kringle(Sp?) he use to go around giving gifts and whatnot. anyway I'm to lazy to look up the story so if anybody else wants to do it thats fine by me. meh! later

=========OPTIMUS :leepose

[Eclectic Replicant]

santa was a cristian guy that was very generous and was put in prission by the romans,he was knownfor the fact that he threw the pressents anonymously thru the howses chimmeney(spelling?) and after he died some miracles happened.

Th3 3nd

[enkie]

No, man, Santa is, like, MAGIC! Magic defies the law of physics, therefore, this proof is irrelevant.

[PATMAN]

santa claus can stop time! of course he's real!

[lucky]

*bah* santa is a stupid rip-off from the dutch sinterklaas...

no he ain'ttt... he's jolly old saint nick.. the old bishop of myra that used to toss bags of money into epopel's windows and run away.

"Santa Claus" was taken from the german sankt niklaus and the dutch sinterklaas. not a rip-off. :P

[DyersEve]

of course santa's real! jesus told me over a frapucinno the other day. he even cheated on ms. claus with the tooth fairy. can you believe it?? that horny stupid elf!! :mad :blink

[Goongasnootch]

Oh this will shut my friend up so bad :clap


Sanat is not real (http://www.hardwareanalysis.com/content/topic/17881/)





-ReDragon-
Who the Hell's Sanat?

[Eclectic Replicant]

santa's thin brother

[Kimi Sama]

But...then...where...do...the...presents come from?! :huh :amazed

On an interesting side note, did you know Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer was invented in 1939 by an American department store as a gimmick for thier colouring books?

[parker pyne]

But...then...where...do...the...presents come from?! :huh :amazed

On an interesting side note, did you know Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer was invented in 1939 by an American department store as a gimmick for thier colouring books?
That's interesting..............

[aLkeMiSt]

A little proof that santa is real
http://www.jibjab.com/xmas/play.asp?contentid=164&groupid=2

[parker pyne]

You dun need to prove that santa's real, he IS real!

He's just too good for you guys :shifty good ol' fat jolly red guy

[Da Supa Freak]

The origins of the American-created Santa Claus is essentially pieced-together from many different legends and real-life people from different European countries/ regions. The most prominent is St. Nicholas (German)/ Sinterklaas (Dutch) who was a real saint who would give out presents to children on December 6th every year. His outfit (predominately the red fur) is believed to come from an old legend of a Russian Santa-like figure who wore animal furs dyed red to represent either fire, a life-nourishing force, and/ or blood, as sign of how all men are kindred. There is also a Gypsy legend with parallells.

Of course, his complete image that has forever been etched into our collective minds wasn't created until a Coca-Cola cartoonist drew him for an add around the turn of the 20th Century. I think that was around when, at least. I'm not completely sure on that, however.

[4thokage]

Santa doestn exist? :sad :crying

[NarutoBOT]

hate to break it to you buddy, but the whole IDEA of Santa DESTROYS YOUR SILLY SCIENTIFIC ARGUMENT!

You see, Santa is MAGIC. If you tried to see his workshop with a satelite, it wouldn't work cause very simply, he lives in a magical dimention that you can only see with true faith!

As for all your silly statistics, they all mean SHIT! Santa does not conform to our linear way of thinking. Magic is above and beyong science, it is because it does not follow the "normal" rules of our universe. 1000th of a second could be an eternity to Santa, and as for the weight of the gifts, didnt you ever see Mary Poppins? She just kept on pulling shit out of that purse of her's. *she was magic too*

So take your science and GO STUFF YOURSELF.

Oh, and Merry Christmas :P hehe

[parker pyne]

I totally agree with narutoBOT =P

[4thokage]

Magic wonder hw that works

[parker pyne]

A magician cannot give away his secrets!

[4thokage]

A magician cannot give away his secrets!
oh please tell me please i wont do anything bad *lies*

[Akamaru Mask]

hate to break it to you buddy, but the whole IDEA of Santa DESTROYS YOUR SILLY SCIENTIFIC ARGUMENT!

You see, Santa is MAGIC. If you tried to see his workshop with a satelite, it wouldn't work cause very simply, he lives in a magical dimention that you can only see with true faith!

As for all your silly statistics, they all mean SHIT! Santa does not conform to our linear way of thinking. Magic is above and beyong science, it is because it does not follow the "normal" rules of our universe. 1000th of a second could be an eternity to Santa, and as for the weight of the gifts, didnt you ever see Mary Poppins? She just kept on pulling shit out of that purse of her's. *she was magic too*

So take your science and GO STUFF YOURSELF.

Oh, and Merry Christmas :P hehe

smackdown. Santa is real! Otherwise why would everyone get presents on christmas day? therefore narutobot, you go on the nice list.
Naughty list for Alky...

[Garson007]

Turn around the letters of Santa. Santa = Satan... Woooooo

[Lunasakuramoon]

no no no NO!!!! Santa IS real!!!!! if he's not...then how do da presents get under da tree hmmm??? >_<

[Keramachi]

d00d... you really wanan crush your friend's dreams? How old is he?

*EDIT*

oh and don't you know anything?

Santa has holy powers... the scientific explanation doesn't pertain to him. n00b. Normal law of physics don't apply to him.Well, given my belief that religion can't interfere with physics, I'd say the existance of Santa Claus is, based on the article, quite unlikely. But personal beliefs are no good unless supported, and it's pretty hard to prove anything relted to religion.

But, Santa Claus is based on the corporeal Saint Nicholas. I doubt Santa has any religious powers, given how secularized the character has become. However, I don't think saints in the Catholic Church gained your so-called "holy powers" because of their status. If that was the case, we'd be having an incredible amount of people vying for sainthood. In theory, that sounds like the world would be a much better place, but many of those people would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. So no holy powers. n00b.

An interesting side note; The Coca-Cola company invented the idea of the fat Santa Claus a number of years ago, which begs the question: Why aren't they suing companies left and right for copyright infringement?

[Da Supa Freak]

An interesting side note; The Coca-Cola company invented the idea of the fat Santa Claus a number of years ago, which begs the question: Why aren't they suing companies left and right for copyright infringement?
You know, I never really thought about that. It could be possible they never copyrighted it, or didn't think of it until it became so iconistic (is that a word?) that they couldn't or something. I personally don't know much about how copyright laws work, so what I say on the subject has little-to-no grounding.

[wherezmytofu]

my parents enver lied to me when i was small, so i know not of this santa lie

[narutopballer]

i still believe.... :blink

you know what would be cruel, if someone went to the mall while all th elittle kids were there and scream santa wasnt real or that u killed santa and hired tht man to cover up the crimes, good ol fun :)

[Jackal Iscariot]

you are the one who killed santa? damn you!!!! :mad
http://img9.exs.cx/img9/4439/35820197we.jpg
i will renvenge on you someday...when you less expect...kukuku

[sheepus_minimus]

OFCOURSE!!!! Santa must use the 'Infinaty Pocket', giving you the ability to store as much as necessary at no additional wieght......coming soon to a shop near you.

[B32]

This is not from a credible source, i will not accept the calculations. Even though there is no Santa it has been proved that someone could make the trip around the world in just one night but they would have to be using a jumbo jet.

[Sawako]

WHAT?!?! :(

Santa's not real? *runs off to cry*

[Mike_Hawk]

Man, all of you people dissing Santa better hide, he knows where you live and he'll get you dangit, he'll get you!!!!

[junidaime]

Outraged Citizen:
I cant believe this. This is all false. It is another plot by the Easter Bunny to tarnish Santa's Good name and take away from his holiday mojo. :mad

More Moderate Citizen: I'm afraid Santa is not real. And that article is not defamation of Character because even if Santa was real, the Easter Bunny certainly is not.

:amazed
Outraged Citizen: Oh...Well then...I-I guess I'll just have to accept it and get a life then. :oh

More Moderate Citizen: I guess so... :sad

[hjkou]

heres some proof that santa doesnt exist
when i was young, MY PARENTS ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED, TOOK ME TO THE STORE, AND BOUGHT IT FOR ME IN FRONT OF MY EYES

:D

[DesertLily]

But...it's Santa! He's magical!

As for those children who don't get presents, it's their fault for not believing. Or....uh....*runs and hides in the closet*

[princesstaco]

*tear* You should've put spoiler tags around that title!

:-p

[[I am teh Haruka]]

I don't think kids can understand scientific stuff just yet.

And besides, they'll soon learn that he's not real anyway.

[RockLee]

OMG Stanta's not real? Then who did my dogs attack that night?????

I find it hilarious that of all the scientific possiblitites, they did not consider a quantum transporter designed by aliens. I mean come on, it so obvious duh!

[Bergelmir]

You...are...shitting me...no?

Scientific fact was needed to prove Santa isn't real?....................*dies*

[Othni]

Don't you know? Whenever captain Kathryn Janeway (Take that Kurk!) went into the past, she hooked up with Santa and gave him the works. Now he just transports the toys all over the place while he sits at home and gets even fatter. Duh!
You guys don't know anything. :P

[aZnGuY3110]

this is horrible.. people are now resorting to science to prove that santa doesn't exist. i feel that matters like these should be left to the unknown.

[Kakashi_Love]

no wonder he never responded to any of my letters!!! :crying

[Sabaku no Ira]

this is horrible.. people are now resorting to science to prove that santa doesn't exist. i feel that matters like these should be left to the unknown.

This is like on of those "duh" sciences. I think I've read somewhere that is about the scientific proof of catching a cold when you get cold. :notrust

[Marl]

Santa's not real???

Well, there goes the last moral constraint on my life. Time to initiate a massacre. With llamas. Lots of llamas. ¬.¬

[shizuru]

He's on the Coca Cola cans and bottles now during this season.. that's reason enough that he's real (inside joke)
Santa has to make money some how when its not X-mas lol :rofl

[S-117]

Of course Santa's real. He uses magic powers, so the scientific laws do not apply to him.

[opium4themasses]

Santa has to make money some how when its not X-mas lol :rofl
Why does this make me think of Santa porn?

[stomponfrogs]

Oh this will shut my friend up so bad :clap


Sanat is not real (http://www.hardwareanalysis.com/content/topic/17881/)





-ReDragon-
Dude, I don't care what proof you have. My personal experience shows that he's real!!! How else would I have gotten those "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" action figures and "Duck Tales" jigsaw puzzle back in the day?

[The Space Cowboy]

Why Santa Claus is Real

1. Sufficiently Advanced Technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Santa obviously posseses the means to time travel, and travels back in time multiple times every Christmas eve. This accounts for his ability to appear in different places on the globe simultaneously

2. Santa Claus has massive funding.

Didn't you guys know that the "Big Guy" holds a copyright on every single depiction of himself ever made? Since US copyright law is good for the lifetime of the author, Santa is very fiscally secure. Plus, he has a crack team of Elves playing the stock market. He is also rumored to hold about half of the US's national debt.

[Marl]

I've finally come up with a PLAUSIBLE explanation for Santa's mysertious abilities to deliver presents so fast! He stops time! It's so obvious, when you take that into account. :)

The "Time-stopping-theory" also takes into account the fact that no-one's ever seen Santa (outside of shopping centres, and those IMPOSTERS don't count), wheras the "Time-travelling-theory" would mean santa would be in multiple places at once, and thus would be more likely to be seen.

Clearly, his reindeer create a forcefield that inverts the space-time continuum, reflecting it in on itself so that the centre of the forcefield expands out to infinity, whilst the actual radius remains the same size, essentially creating a frozen pocket of time and space specifically for Santa + sleigh. Thusly, he can travel the world as slowly or as quickly as he wants, and have it all done before we wake up. ^_^

I'm a genious. :P

[cloon]

^^^
good explanation...very good explenation. but 1 thing can explain it all. (if it hasn't already been said).

Santa=God! that explains everything

[Kage_Kama]

Oh this will shut my friend up so bad :clap


Sanat is not real (http://www.hardwareanalysis.com/content/topic/17881/)





-ReDragon-



OMFGLMAOWTFBBQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have seen this before. Yeah, this definitely disproves that. I once used this to prove to some kid that Santa doesn't exist and I swear he almost started crying. LMAO watch me get negative repped for this........ >.<;;

[ResoluteOne]

Very nice post.

[wes]

That was funny but Ive heard it before in an even funnyer way. On talk radio they had "Prof. Steven Hawkins" tell what that link said to a T and hearing it in that computer voice he does was some of the funniest crap Ive ever heard

[Giant Enemy Crab]

Deep down in my heart I still believe in Santa Clause.

[ShadowHokage]

Lol...santa exists as long as christmas exists.

[tom]

Well, if santa knows tajuu kage bunshin, then those things aren't really a problem.

[Lezard Valeth]

No children young enough to believe in santa can understand this article, so it's really something vain :facepalm

[GrimaH]

This is, like, the oldest thread I've ever seen in this forum.

[Cæk]

Well, if santa knows tajuu kage bunshin, then those things aren't really a problem.
Wow. You must be bored to have revived this lol.

The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
I lol'd. :lmao

---

But seriously, the word scientific and Santa Claus should never go in the same sentence together…whatever the context. :oh

[Saufsoldat]

But seriously, the word scientific and Santa Claus should never go in the same sentence together…whatever the context. :oh

Not even in the sentence "Santa Claus is not scientific"? :wink

[Cæk]

Not even in the sentence "Santa Claus is not scientific"? :wink
Touché! :amazed

[NaruTayu forever]

my childhood...Crushed :cry

[Xion]

Possibly the greatest Santa disproof I have ever seen. :oh

[Dragoon]

Very nice post.
Get out :pek

[Pain]

I ,Pain, shall give yall the REAL reason as to why Akatsuki was created. It was so Santa would have the power to get everywhere and give presents. That is the reason why will kill people, to help Santa. :tobidream

[wiggely]

fact i learned:

where the idea of flying rain deer come from:
-in alaska/canda rain deer eat certain types of "magic" mushrooms
-the natives (crazy bastards) would drink the deer piss, of the ones who ate the mushrooms
-proceeded to trip out and see flying raindeer.

[The Fourth Hokage]

Santa has holy powers... the scientific explanation doesn't pertain to him. n00b. Normal law of physics don't apply to him.

This or "magic" wins the thread.

[Random Nobody]

Pfft, Logic doesn't apply to Santa. You'd better apologize now or your getting coal this year young man.:pek

[ninja man]

thats not true he's real you just have to believe believe i tell you :amazed

[PerveeSage]

you know, there was a real santa claus, but he wasnt the sleigh riding fat red cheeked joy bringer we think of him as. santa claus was like a robin hood in medival times, stealing from the rich. he would collect all the gold he could over the year and in december he would spend the month dropping a bag of gold in each chimney in his town. look em up.

[64palms]

Santa is just a cheap knockoff of Odin.

Gotta love them old fashioned Santa suits though.

[Hippie]

wow... reeealy? are you seroius? Why is this in the philosophy section? i ALWAYS believed santa was real

[Invisible Phantom]

Oh this will shut my friend up so bad :clap


Sanat is not real (http://www.hardwareanalysis.com/content/topic/17881/)





-ReDragon-

This is so frigging funny.
Thx for making my day.

[Yami Munesanzun]

oh, boo-hoo, you've crushed my child-hood dream of meeting the legendary FATMAN in the red suit! *sarcasm*

[Drunkenwhale]

Really? And here I thought there was a magical workshop up north where reindeer fly and elves work on toys that can be bought at a store...

I like fairytales, but it doesn't take science to tell he's not real.